Posted on 04/01/2006 6:40:33 PM PST by twippo
SELMER, Tenn. - Mary Winkler was the quiet, unassuming wife of a small-town, by-the-Bible preacher, seemingly devoted to church and family. But now her husband, Matthew, is dead and she is charged with shooting him in the back with a shotgun.
Authorities won't discuss a motive, and church members say they didn't see any indication she was unhappy. But experts say preachers' wives often struggle with depression and isolation, expected to be exemplars of Christian virtue while bearing unique pressures on their private and public lives.
Gayle Haggard, author of "A Life Embraced: A Hopeful Guide for the Pastor's Wife," said ministers' wives can feel isolated because of a misconception about leadership, since they and their husbands are leaders of their congregations.
They can feel trapped, she said, by unrealistic expectations "to live a certain way, to dress a certain way, for their children to behave a certain way."
And ministers' wives often find themselves handling more jobs than they expected to take on, said Becky Hunter, current president of the Global Pastors Wives Network.
"You're not really hired, and yet there is some expectation in most church settings that the pastor's wife comes along in a package deal," Hunter said.
Too often, ministers and their wives are reluctant to seek emotional help from members of their congregations because they're looked up to as leaders, said Lois Evans, a former president of the Global Pastors Wives Network. They can become isolated, lonely and depressed.
"This family needed help," said Evans. "It seems like there was no place to turn to and no place to talk and it became an explosive situation."
Matthew Winkler, 31, was found dead in a bedroom at the couple's parsonage Wednesday night in Selmer, a town of 4,400 people about 80 miles east of Memphis. Mary Winkler, 32, and her three young daughters were found Thursday night leaving a restaurant in Orange Beach, Ala., about 340 miles from Selmer. Orange Beach Police Chief Billy Wilkins said she had rented a condo on the beach after the slaying.
She was charged with first-degree murder and ordered held without bail. Tennessee Bureau of Investigation agent John Mehr said authorities know the motive for the killing, but he would not disclose it.
Mary Winkler was working part-time as a substitute teacher and taking college courses to get a teaching certificate as well as raising her three children and serving the congregation as its preacher's wife.
"You know she was weighted down," said Jimmie Smith, a member of Matthew Winkler's Fourth Street Church of Christ congregation and a retired psychiatric nurse.
Defense lawyer Steve Farese refused to talk about the Winklers' private life or if they had personal troubles.
"I can't discuss anything she's told me," Farese said. "But I think you have to look at the entire picture. You can't look at the end of a story and determine what the beginning and middle were."
Using that logic, we are in no position to criticize our Senators/President/Pastor, since...
I resent your attacks on people here. We are spending time explaining to you our beliefs. Now going on 1-1/2 hours today for me. And, you? You attack us as quacks.
Now, our beliefs are based on what we find in the Bible (that book you claim means little). So, therefore, you are attacking the Bible when it speaks on verses you choose to ignore.
And, then, you jump on us and try and make us say you are going to hell for doing so. Great game. But we don't play.
We are not in the business of judging people's final destination because God is at work on those people. He expects us to help them - not condemn them. We just merely try and ensure our salvation and our families and to teach what the Bible teaches.
Big deal - how horrible can we be? Almost as bad as the devil worshippers I guess (sarcasm of course).
Take it outside.
And how are we given the word of God? Preachers? And where do preachers get the word of God?
Why was the bible given? It was given as the inspired word of God profitable for edification. And, the bible has survived thousands of years - same as the story of Christ.
Sad but true.
That is not what he meant. The Old Testament was the rule of law and if one law was broken then it was as if all laws were broken. We study the Old Testament for the history of God but we are not under that rule. God's views are the unchanging and we learn about God.
However, God sent Christ as the one time sacrifice for man and therefore his death paid the price once and for all for those that believe on Christ. The old rule of law requiring animal sacrifice was no more.
We now are under the dispensation of Jesus and the New Testament and those instructions are meant for us today. We have been given the most wonderful gift of Jesus and all we are required to do is accept that gift, repent of our sins, be baptised and walk anew with Christ. (as per the instructions given in the New Testament.)
I don't really want the thread to get off track, but I really need to say. . .
Read the rest of the passage ". .but he who believes not is condemned already." The focus of the passage is faith, not getting dunked.
It was a joke because we had the priest scandal and actually still have it. Sorry that I wasn't more specific. If we did not have the priest scandal problems, I would never have said such a thing seriously.
"The issue with Catholic Priests is that the no marriage issue was not purely a sex issue, though that is certainly how it is thought of today."
I understand all of the points in your post. I was mainly responding to the rather snarky tone of the post regarding the "evangelical problem"!
I am not really following your whole "blame the man" mentality here... I don't really think society has quite the expectations of men (in marriages)as you are suggesting.
Please, please don't make this into a baptism debate. Especially because you're wrong.
:) Got it.
'Course, I've been proudly posting before reading the entire thread since 1998 LOL...
I do the same thing.
Thanks and have a great day!!!
Remember that he obediently left his home and went to a land that God showed him? He offered up Isaac as a sacrifice, just as God later sacrificed His Son.
His was an obedient faith that was "reckoned to Abraham for righteousness".
I believe it shows that faith also should lead us to obey the commands of God in order to receive His grace today.
Just because they are Christians doesn't mean they're polite!
By the by, I am totally enjoying this thread. I'm getting quite the education. Serious. Thanks to all who are contributing in a positive manner.
I wasn't accusing him of being a liar. I was telling him he was lying and his actions make him a liar.
There, got that Yukong?
So according to you, your god doesn't really mean what he says?
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