Posted on 04/01/2006 6:40:33 PM PST by twippo
SELMER, Tenn. - Mary Winkler was the quiet, unassuming wife of a small-town, by-the-Bible preacher, seemingly devoted to church and family. But now her husband, Matthew, is dead and she is charged with shooting him in the back with a shotgun.
Authorities won't discuss a motive, and church members say they didn't see any indication she was unhappy. But experts say preachers' wives often struggle with depression and isolation, expected to be exemplars of Christian virtue while bearing unique pressures on their private and public lives.
Gayle Haggard, author of "A Life Embraced: A Hopeful Guide for the Pastor's Wife," said ministers' wives can feel isolated because of a misconception about leadership, since they and their husbands are leaders of their congregations.
They can feel trapped, she said, by unrealistic expectations "to live a certain way, to dress a certain way, for their children to behave a certain way."
And ministers' wives often find themselves handling more jobs than they expected to take on, said Becky Hunter, current president of the Global Pastors Wives Network.
"You're not really hired, and yet there is some expectation in most church settings that the pastor's wife comes along in a package deal," Hunter said.
Too often, ministers and their wives are reluctant to seek emotional help from members of their congregations because they're looked up to as leaders, said Lois Evans, a former president of the Global Pastors Wives Network. They can become isolated, lonely and depressed.
"This family needed help," said Evans. "It seems like there was no place to turn to and no place to talk and it became an explosive situation."
Matthew Winkler, 31, was found dead in a bedroom at the couple's parsonage Wednesday night in Selmer, a town of 4,400 people about 80 miles east of Memphis. Mary Winkler, 32, and her three young daughters were found Thursday night leaving a restaurant in Orange Beach, Ala., about 340 miles from Selmer. Orange Beach Police Chief Billy Wilkins said she had rented a condo on the beach after the slaying.
She was charged with first-degree murder and ordered held without bail. Tennessee Bureau of Investigation agent John Mehr said authorities know the motive for the killing, but he would not disclose it.
Mary Winkler was working part-time as a substitute teacher and taking college courses to get a teaching certificate as well as raising her three children and serving the congregation as its preacher's wife.
"You know she was weighted down," said Jimmie Smith, a member of Matthew Winkler's Fourth Street Church of Christ congregation and a retired psychiatric nurse.
Defense lawyer Steve Farese refused to talk about the Winklers' private life or if they had personal troubles.
"I can't discuss anything she's told me," Farese said. "But I think you have to look at the entire picture. You can't look at the end of a story and determine what the beginning and middle were."
"If I am not baptized, even if I trusted Christ for my salvation and believed on Him, I would still go to Hell?"
Why do you suppose those who heard Peter's sermon on the day of Pentecost asked what they must do to be saved, after they had believed on Jesus as the Son of God?
Why do you suppose Peter didn't say, "Oh, you don't have to do anything, you believe that Jesus is the Son of God, just trust in Him that your faith has saved you." instead of, "Repent, and let every one of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins."?
Why do you suppose Jesus told Saul to "Arise and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do." after he believed that Jesus was the Son of God? We know it was not because Jesus did not have the power to grant salvation to Saul when he lay humbled, and trembling in astonished belief on the ground before Him.
You asked a question every member of the church of Christ has been asked at one time or another in his/her lifetime. Its equivalent is, "What if death occurs before the baptism of a believer?". (Have to say here that the tone of derision and condescension can't be properly conveyed in this particular wording of the question. lol.) Interestingly enough, the question usually comes from someone who believes salvation comes through the sinner's prayer, and that baptism is not necessary for remission of sins. I always want to ask, "Do you think a believer would go to heaven if he/she died before they got to pray the sinner's prayer?" But, I don't ask it, and I won't ask you.
I believe the answer is the same to both questions - that God will decide who enters heaven.
I also know that Jesus prayed a prayer - recorded in John 17 - where He asked God to sanctify the apostles by His truth. Then said, "Your word is truth." He told the Father that He had given the apostles the words which the Father had given Him, and that they had kept His word. He further prayed for all who would believe in Him through their word. (That is the word the apostles had been given by Jesus from the Father) They all were given the same word, or doctrine, and they all taught the same doctrine. Christ said that is how the world would know that God had sent Him. He was praying for unity according to the truth of His Gospel that had been given to the apostles.
Paul later said of this same gospel, "But even if we, or an angel from heaven, preach any other gospel to you than what we have preached to you, let him be accursed."(Galatians 1:8) It was such a serious matter that he repeated it.
Look around us today. Is everyone who claims allegiance to Christ teaching the same doctrine? Many don't even call themselves Christians without their particular hyphenation.
When I became a Christian, I did the same as those who became Christians on the day of Pentecost. I believe the Bible teaches that it is the same that is commanded of everyone who receives the grace of Jesus - not because God doesn't have the power to do it some other way, but because it is the way He has chosen that we may be "in Him", and the world may know that we are His.
I believe the Bible teaches:
1 ) The sinner must hear God's Word (Romans 10:17)
2 ) One must believe what he hears. (John 3:16; Acts 16:31)
3 ) The sinner must repent, or turn away, from sin and seek forgiveness. (Luke 13:3)
4 ) God commands the penitent sinner to confess Christ, who is the basis for our salvation, before men as the Son of God. (Romans 10:9-10)
5 ) Finally, the sinner who has heard the word of God, believed it, repented of his sins, and confessed Christ before men is commanded to be baptized unto the remission of his sins (Acts 2:38; Acts 22:16). Baptism is what puts a person "in Christ" so that salvation is achieved (Romans 6:3-4; Gal. 3:27; 1Peter 3:21). It is where one comes into contact with Christ's blood so that sins can be washed away (Ephesians 1: 7-8; Revelation 5:9; Romans 5:8-9; Hebrews 9:12-14).
Christ shed His blood on the Cross at His death (John 19:31-34) Sinners must contact that blood to obtain forgiveness of sin. In baptism that contact with the blood, and the death, of Christ is made (Romans 6:3-11), and the hope of resurrection, to live with Him in heaven, is received (Colossians 2;12).
Each of these steps are commanded and necessary to achieve salvation. When a person hears, believes, repents, confesses, and is baptized for the forgiveness of his sins, that person becomes a Christian. God then adds that Christian to His Son’s one true body - the church. The child of God who remains faithful unto death (Revelation 2:10) is promised a crown of life and eternity in heaven as a result of his faith, his obedience, God’s mercy, and God’s grace (John 14:15; Ephesians 2:8-9; Romans 1:5).
I apologize to all for the length of this post.
I could go on, but my fingers are as tired as your eyes, if you have read the whole thing. ;-)
God bless and guide each of us who sincerely and diligently seek Him into all truth.
Like I have noted several times before, if you can't state outright what the CoC believes, then please don't waste my time trying to defend whatever it is you believe if you won't own it.
Personally, I don't believe in a "sinner's prayer" because I don't find that in Scripture.
I also do not believe that baptism saves anyone.
If a believer professes that Jesus is his/her lord and saviour and asks for forgiveness of their sins,they will go to heaven if they pass away before getting baptized.The reason I know this is because of the thief,crucified at the side of Jesus.He didn't have time to be baptized,but asked for forgiveness.Jesus told him that he would join him in paradise that very day.
We still are told to ask for forgiveness and be baptised,but if something were to happen before you had the chance,God would be quite understanding.On the other hand,if you know you need to be baptised,but either don't do it or put it off for some time,well,only "the Big Guy" can answer that one,but I'm inclined to believe that this wouldn't be a good scenario.
I have a question -
What is baptism then?
Why is it in the Bible?
Why are we told to be baptised for remission of sins?
And, why is it that people rebel against the act of baptism? You would think they are being asked to be crucified on the cross.
No attacks needed, just don't understand your anti-baptism stance. No one is saying that it means that Christ's death is of less value that it cannot save us. Christ was given to save man. But, God also gave us instructions on what to do to be saved and why are we to ignore the instructions on baptism?
I have never understood fully the big conflict between Baptists and members of the Church of Christ. They agree on basic lifestyles, and are so similar - but on baptism, the line is drawn. They believe salvation through faith only is needed. But, the faith does not follow through to following the instructions in the Bible on baptism. They claim we believe we are saved by works.
We do not but they "type" us that way because we simply believe that God expects us to follow his instructions given and there is baptism in those instructions.
Quack: The thief on the cross died before Christ's mission was complete. The thief died under the old law of Moses, not the new law of Liberty under Chist Jesus. You are talking about two different dispensations. Christ's sacrifice was not yet complete. Christ had not yet died for our sins, and be buried, and then raise again on the 3rd day. Different dispensations, different modes of salvation.
According to other CoC'er's anything spoken before Jesus died does not really apply.
So would you like to start with that?
FC, in all kindness and sincereity, you either are unable to comprehend simple english, or your heart is so hardened that you refuse to understand what a word I have said. I have answered your question over and over. In fact, I have answered it a bunch of times. What I haven't done is allow you to bait me into saying something that fits your dogma so that you can label me a judgmental cultist. I won't play that game. If anyone is wasting time and energy it is you. Go back and re-read my posts, especially my first one to you. It is clear from my posts what I believe and what the church I attend stands for.
Now, speaking of answereing questions...I'm still waiting for your answer to my I Peter 3:21 question. Which is is... "baptism doeth NOW save us", or "baptism doeth NOT save us"? Which one did the Apostle Peter say and teach?
Quack, don't listen to these quacks.
Romans 4:9 ¶Cometh this blessedness then upon the circumcision only, or upon the uncircumcision also? for we say that faith was reckoned to Abraham for righteousness.
Romans 4:16 Therefore it is of faith, that it might be by grace; to the end the promise might be sure to all the seed; not to that only which is of the law, but to that also which is of the faith of Abraham; who is the father of us all,
Galatians 3:6 ¶Even as Abraham believed God, and it was accounted to him for righteousness.
Ephesians 2:8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:
9 Not of works, lest any man should boast.
You have to be born again to understand the Book?
My - isn't that exclusive? Just why would God give the inspired word of truth - the Bible - and then make it so that man who seeks the truth could not understand it unless he fully believed first?
Just where is man to get the education to believe first?
Sounds like circumventing word games to me.
And it appears that only the very intelligent "born again" people would have access to the Bible. What about the dummies of the world, the uneducated? Is God required to appear to all men in a dream that they would choose to believe first?
Either you can be honest and own what you believe, or you can continue to pretend like you don't believe what the CoC teaches, that believers who have faith in Jesus Christ who never had a chance to be baprized, are going to Hell.
So which is it?
Romans 10:17 So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.
And there you go again calling people names. It that all you have now in defense of your position is to call those who challenge your beliefs names. Nice way to defend the Gospel...call those who ask you to defend your beliefs names. Really flys in the face of that stuff you have posted on your FR home page about how to be a Godly Christian woman. I'm sure God is proud of how a supposed "Godly woman" calls others unkind names and accuses them of being liars. Great example there FC.
Outright? What part of my writings have you not understood? I cannot be more plain. If you can see through a barrel with both ends knocked out, then you can see what I have said. Your problem is that you refuse to see.
And I'm waiting still....I Peter 3:21?
I think it is quackery for you or anyone else to claim that nothing that happened before Jesus died means anything and then try and claim Scripture from that period to further your position.
It's quackery.
Those practicing that kind of exegesis would be considered quacks.
So doesn't this say that Jesus commanded baptism?
And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, "All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age." Amen.
All I said was that prior to Christ, man was under a different Law. The Law of Moses. This is elementary school christianity here. And you know that. But it is something that you can use to slam me and call me names. The Old Law of Moses was a "school master" to bring us to a more perfect law, the Law of Liberty. FC, surely you can do better than this.
Whatever Jesus said before he died doesn't apply according to Yukong.
correction...I meant to say...I never claimed that what happened before Christ died is meaningless.
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