Posted on 04/01/2006 6:40:33 PM PST by twippo
SELMER, Tenn. - Mary Winkler was the quiet, unassuming wife of a small-town, by-the-Bible preacher, seemingly devoted to church and family. But now her husband, Matthew, is dead and she is charged with shooting him in the back with a shotgun.
Authorities won't discuss a motive, and church members say they didn't see any indication she was unhappy. But experts say preachers' wives often struggle with depression and isolation, expected to be exemplars of Christian virtue while bearing unique pressures on their private and public lives.
Gayle Haggard, author of "A Life Embraced: A Hopeful Guide for the Pastor's Wife," said ministers' wives can feel isolated because of a misconception about leadership, since they and their husbands are leaders of their congregations.
They can feel trapped, she said, by unrealistic expectations "to live a certain way, to dress a certain way, for their children to behave a certain way."
And ministers' wives often find themselves handling more jobs than they expected to take on, said Becky Hunter, current president of the Global Pastors Wives Network.
"You're not really hired, and yet there is some expectation in most church settings that the pastor's wife comes along in a package deal," Hunter said.
Too often, ministers and their wives are reluctant to seek emotional help from members of their congregations because they're looked up to as leaders, said Lois Evans, a former president of the Global Pastors Wives Network. They can become isolated, lonely and depressed.
"This family needed help," said Evans. "It seems like there was no place to turn to and no place to talk and it became an explosive situation."
Matthew Winkler, 31, was found dead in a bedroom at the couple's parsonage Wednesday night in Selmer, a town of 4,400 people about 80 miles east of Memphis. Mary Winkler, 32, and her three young daughters were found Thursday night leaving a restaurant in Orange Beach, Ala., about 340 miles from Selmer. Orange Beach Police Chief Billy Wilkins said she had rented a condo on the beach after the slaying.
She was charged with first-degree murder and ordered held without bail. Tennessee Bureau of Investigation agent John Mehr said authorities know the motive for the killing, but he would not disclose it.
Mary Winkler was working part-time as a substitute teacher and taking college courses to get a teaching certificate as well as raising her three children and serving the congregation as its preacher's wife.
"You know she was weighted down," said Jimmie Smith, a member of Matthew Winkler's Fourth Street Church of Christ congregation and a retired psychiatric nurse.
Defense lawyer Steve Farese refused to talk about the Winklers' private life or if they had personal troubles.
"I can't discuss anything she's told me," Farese said. "But I think you have to look at the entire picture. You can't look at the end of a story and determine what the beginning and middle were."
Impressive!
Well, if you want to stake your salvation on the words to a song written by an uninspired man, then that is your choice. But as for me and my house, we will rely on the Word of God. Through which comes everlasting life.
"For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ." -- Galatians 3:27
So your salvation is based on belief plus something else, a work that you do.
Friend, that isn't salvation.
Still not an excuse for murder.
Hey, just letting you know, if you don't trust Christ then you are not saved, and you said you do not trust Christ, that you have to be baptized.
That's what YOU believe, not me.
John 3:18 He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.
Your salvation appears to be based on grace plus something else (belief).
And what's worse, in John 6:28-29 Jesus explicitly says that belief itself is a 'work', so apparently you believe in works-based salvation.
2 Timothy 1:12 For the which cause I also suffer these things: nevertheless I am not ashamed: for I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day.
Ephesians 1:10 That in the dispensation of the fulness of times he might gather together in one all things in Christ, both which are in heaven, and which are on earth; even in him:
11 In whom also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestinated according to the purpose of him who worketh all things after the counsel of his own will:
12 That we should be to the praise of his glory, who first trusted in Christ.
13 In whom ye also trusted, after that ye heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation: in whom also after that ye believed, ye were sealed with that holy Spirit of promise,
14 Which is the earnest of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, unto the praise of his glory.
Is Jesus lying in John 6?
Rusty Yates may be a member of the church of Christ now (I have no knowledge whether he is or is not), but he was not raised in the church of Christ, nor was he a member when his children were murdered. There was a church of Christ nearby that helped him during the crisis.
Given this:
"Whosoever therefore shall confess me before men, him will I confess also before my Father which is in heaven. But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven." -- Matthew 10:32-33
and this:
"That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved." -- Romans 10:9
Were these people saved?
"Nevertheless among the chief rulers also many believed on him; but because of the Pharisees they did not confess him, lest they should be put out of the synagogue" -- John 12:42
Thank you for finally explaining to me why some religions don't consider Catholics christians.
I'm truly sorry your mom thinks that all baptized babies are going to hell. That is just sad, on so many levels.
Why be sad? Catholics believe those who are not baptized in the Catholic Church aren't saved either. No one is guilt free.
For the sake of clarity, churches of Christ do NOT teach that any babies who die are going to hell. I don't know any CoC member who believes such a thing. The position of the churches of Christ is that an infant baptism carries no spiritual meaning and does a person no good later in life.
Oh, there you go again! I'm a cradle Catholic (strike one), grade and middle school Catholic (probably strike two), and believe in purgatory, heaven and hell (strike three?) and I was NEVER taught that those who are unbaptized in the Catholic church are going to hell. And, trust me, if that were the case, Sister Mary Ethelgene would have drummed it into us.
I can be sad that there are religions (mine included) who DARE TO PRESUME they know better than God who's getting into heaven. I can be sad that there are people who think all you have to do to get to heaven is to be immersed in water. Oh, and How does that work with unbaptized babies? If the CoC thinks unbaptized souls go to hell, then where do the babies go?
And I am sad that people choose to beat up on others because the way they practice religion is different.Not very Christlike, is it?
Thank you for pointing that out.
What do they do with the thief on the cross? He wasn't baptized, but Jesus said he would be in paradise.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.