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Open Editorial: You Named Your Baby WHAT???
Onyx Magazine ^ | March, 2006 | Josephine Hammond

Posted on 03/30/2006 12:41:35 PM PST by twippo

Someone needs to sit our people down and have a healthy discussion about the names we as African Americans are giving our children. We are hurting our kids and putting their futures in peril from the moment they are born.

That’s right, I said it. We are KILLING our kids and crippling their futures with the names we give them. Don’t you want your kids to get JOBS someday? Good jobs, and serious careers? With a name like Jaquez Ja’Quan Diante’, you’re dooming your sons to a life of drug dealing on some seedy street corner.

Our Black men face enough challenges. I do not subscribe to the notion that we are giving our children names that “convey pride in their African Heritage”. We’re way off the mark. I’ve got dear friends from all over Africa, and their children have beautiful cultural names like Akos, Ama, and Fia.

Notice how neither of those names had a “quita” in it? Or an “eisha”? Or more than four syllables? That’s because even in the motherland, they don’t give their kids the crazy names that we do in Black America. Many Africans even RESENT the implication that these names stem from their culture. I’ve yet to meet anyone from any African nation named Shaquandiniquah Takei’sha, or any other of the ‘colorful’ monikers we’re pinning on brand new precious lives.

Parents, we are stacking the odds against our children from birth. We’ve been doing it for generations, but we get mighty cross when white and mainstream America laughs and mocks us. With a name like Quieshianiquita (I know, I can’t pronounce it either), you’re dooming your children to employment at no better than a dollar store or the nearest fast-food joint.

You are automatically relegated in the minds of many to second-class citizenry, because when they hear the name, they instantly categorize you as ignorant, ghetto, incompetent, uneducated, and not worthy of much respect or basic human considerations.

We hear so often about African American students who excel in school, etc. and “beat the odds.” Well, guess what? Often times, the “odds they have to beat” is the tough challenge of being taken seriously in America with the atrocious name you gave them...names like Jaqui’sheia Sha’qu’an Tai’isha. If they can get someone to look past the name (and quit laughing), there is remarkable talent there in that person.

Unfortunately though, much of mainstream America isn’t willing to find this out. Come in with the wrong name, and you are nothing more than fodder for stereotypical, distasteful jokes. We as African Americans face enough challenges as it is. Our kids deserve a better start and a way better shot than this.

You’re angry with me? I can live with that. Now answer this: when have you ever seen an IBM Executive or a fancy New York office with a fancy highrise office door nameplate that says “Quandaniquah Roshel-Shaquita, Chief Executive Officer”? When? You don’t, and you never have, because the reality is, corporate America and a huge chuck of mainstream doesn’t have a high regard for those names. Quite frankly, you won’t be taken seriously.

I’ve been behind many a closed door with white corporate America. Oddly enough, many of them still see the Negro in the room as ‘non-existent’ or invisible, so they talked like I wasn’t even in the room. I hear everything they say. When Nakia Shaniquah-Quashiqua fills out an application, they have a field day in the office. Once they get their fill of ghetto and ‘weave’ jokes and ripping you to pieces sight unseen, they usually toss the application, or it gets stuck in the ‘bottom of the pile’. If they do hire you, you’re relegated to some meaningless, inconsequential task behind the scenes so they won’t be embarrased by you.

I’ve learned the harsh truth that right or wrong, no quality mainstream company wants someone named (oh just pick a name) representing them in the forefront. We don’t hear that, though. We just want you to get the name right, and look at you funny if you don’t. I recall a time a young woman got really cross with me because her name was LaShi’quita and I forgot to capitalize the ‘S’ and left the little accent mark off the first ‘i’ - how was I supposed to know? But lawd ha’mercy...what did I do THAT for? She was mad, hostile, and ready to FIGHT! It was a BIG ridiculously overblown embarassing ordeal (for her), and that’s OUR fault, parents.

She wouldn’t have such a huge chip on her shoulder and be so defensive, confrontational and mean if we had just given her a name that the average person can pronounce or spell. No spell check in the world can help, so most of her existence is spent correcting the spelling of her name, and feeling disrespected because people can’t get it right. We set her up for this constant and unnecessary battle.

I do not advocate naming all our children Bobby and Susie. But let’s do our babies a favor and keep the syllables down to a minimum, leave out the suffixes “quita”, “sheika”,“eisha”, “niqua”, “quan”...anysuffix with the letter ‘Q’. I could go on, but you get where I'm headed.And if you want your child to have an authentic African or other ethnic name, do a little research. Don’t just make up a name and expect the world to be able to spell and pronounce it. You're not being original or cute. That child has to LIVE with that horrible name, and that's not funny...or cute.

Amen. Now pass the cornbread.


TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: africanamerican; aquanetta; babynames; black; brerrabbit; byanyothername; children; deandre; dejames; ebonics; jaquezjaquan; lemonjello; name; names; nintendo; orangejello; spechal; unusualnames
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To: MineralMan

"There was a boy in my school with the name of Michael Hunt."

I used to get calls for him when I was bartending. You'll only yell out that name once, I guarantee.


661 posted on 03/30/2006 3:34:25 PM PST by beelzepug (Kites banned in Pakistan...does anything in Islam NOT involve throat slitting?)
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To: Windcatcher

A co-worker of mine just had baby Oliver, who joins his older brother Nicholas. I'm thinking of asking her if she is working her way through the Dickens novels.


662 posted on 03/30/2006 3:34:38 PM PST by linda_22003
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To: miss marmelstein

Makes you wonder what Demi and Ashton will name their child..


663 posted on 03/30/2006 3:34:47 PM PST by pnz1
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To: cyborg

"Wow 600 posts in one day? FReepers love to talk about black folks, esp. when it's all bad."

Nah., I've been talking about how you know someone is white trash and a killer if their middle name is "Wayne."

News of the Weird 883, January 9, 2005 -- Killers named Wayne

Timothy Wayne Adams (Texas)
Shannon Wayne Agofsky (Texas)
Thomas Wayne Akers (North Carolina)
Stephen Wayne Anderson (California)*
Joshua Wayne Andrews (Virginia)
David Wayne Arisman (California)
Timothy Wayne Barnett (Alabama)
Gerald Wayne Bivins (Indiana)
Scott Wayne Blystone (Pennsylvania)
Elvis Wayne Botley (California)
Steven Wayne Bowman (South Carolina)
Ricky Wayne Brown (Florida)
Michael Wayne Brown (Oklahoma)
Dennis Wayne Bryant (Virginia)
Edward Wayne Bryant (Oklahoma)
Estell Wayne Buck (Ohio)
Bradley Wayne Cagle (Texas)
Seth Wayne Campbell (Texas)
Darren Wayne Campbell (Oregon)
Mark Wayne Campmire (Connecticut)
Michael Wayne Carter (Indiana)
Rodger Wayne Chastain (California)*
Ronald Wayne Clark, Jr. (Florida)
Douglas Wayne Clark (Texas)
Darryl Wayne Claughton (Alberta)
Kevin Wayne Coffey (Texas)
Michael Wayne Cole (North Carolina)
Joseph Wayne Cook (North Carolina)
Billy Wayne Cope (South Carolina)
Alvin Wayne Crane (Texas)*
David Wayne Crews (Tennessee)
Donald Wayne Darling II (Alabama)
Christopher Wayne Davis (Louisiana)
Gary Wayne Davis (Kentucky)
Jerry Wayne Dean (Kentucky)
Aryan Wayne Duntley (California)
John Wayne Duvall (Oklahoma)*
Dennis Wayne Eaton (Virginia)*
Dale Wayne Eaton (Colorado)
Michael Wayne Eggers (Alabama)
Gary Wayne Etheridge (Texas)
Michael Wayne Farmer (Maryland)
Ellis Wayne Felker (Georgia)*
Matthew Wayne Ferman (Ohio)
Michael Wayne Fisher (Pennsylvania)
Terry Wayne Freeman (Illinois)
Percy Wayne Froman (Alabama)
Ronald Wayne Frye (North Carolina)*
Morris Wayne Givens (Alabama)
Richard Wayne Godwin (Oregon)
Arthur Wayne Goodman, Jr. (Texas)
Richard Wayne Gorrie (New Zealand)
Jeffrey Wayne Gorton (Michigan)
Keith Wayne Graham (California)
Coleman Wayne Gray (Virginia)*
Charles Wayne Green (Arkansas)
Christopher Wayne Gregory (Texas)
Kenneth Wayne Gregory (Florida)
Ralph Wayne Grimes (Kentucky)
Anthony Wayne Grimm (Illinois)
Randall Wayne Hafdahl (Texas)*
Conan Wayne Hale (Oregon)
Kenneth Wayne Hall Sr. (South Carolina)
Michael Wayne Hall (Texas)
Steven Wayne Hall (Alabama)
Jerald Wayne Harjo (Oklahoma)*
Robert Wayne Harris (Texas)
Jerald Wayne Harvel II (Oklahoma)
Mark Wayne Hauseur (California)
Carl Wayne Heath (Maine)
Brandon Wayne Hedrick (Virginia)
Michael Wayne Henry (Texas)
Rodney Wayne Henry (Kansas)
Donald Wayne Holt (Maryland)
Bryant Wayne Howard (Oregon)
Kenneth Wayne Jackson (Texas)
Allen Wayne Jenecka (Texas)*
Mark Wayne Jennings (Virginia)
Robert Wayne Jiles (New York)
Jason Wayne Johnson (Texas)
Terry Wayne Johnson (Florida)
Timothy Wayne Johnson (North Carolina)
Mark Wayne Jones (Ohio)
Bruce Wayne Koenig (Maryland)
Derrick Wayne Kualapai, Sr. (California)
Dudley Wayne Kyzer (Alabama)
Monty Wayne Lamb (Texas)
Robert Wayne Lambert (Oklahoma)
Jonathan Wayne Larrabee (South Dakota)
Jeffrey Wayne Leaf (Oklahoma)
Christopher Wayne Lippard (North Carolina)
Kenny Wayne Lockwood (Texas)*
Mark Wayne Lomax (Texas)
Shelly Wayne Martin (Maryland)
Donald Wayne Martin (Texas)*
Steven Wayne McBride (Minnesota)
George Wayne McBroom (Arizona)
David Wayne McCall (Texas)
Rocky Wayne McGowan (Kentucky)
Robert Wayne McMillion (Florida)
Jason Wayne McVean (Colorado)
David Wayne Mears (Michigan)
Wesley Wayne Miller (Texas)
Jimmy Wayne Miller (Texas)
John Wayne Moore, Jr. (Missouri)
John Wayne Moses (North Carolina)
Jack Wayne Napier (Kentucky)
Danny Wayne Owens (Alabama)
Bryan Wayne Padd (Arizona)
David Wayne Pallister (England)
Jeffrey Wayne Paschall (Utah)
Michael Wayne Perry (Tennessee)
Jason Wayne Petershagen (Texas)
Curtis Wayne Pope (Texas)
Donald Wayne Rainey (Mexico)
Randy Wayne Richards (Canada)
Barry Wayne Riley (British Columbia)
Robert Wayne Rotramel (Oklahoma)
David Wayne Satterfield (Texas)
Christopher Wayne Scarber (Kentucky)
Michael Wayne Sears (Virginia)
Kenith Wayne Sherrill (Washington)
Dallas Wayne Shults (Tennessee)
Mark Wayne Silvers (South Carolina)
David Wayne Smith (Virginia)
Daryl Wayne Smith (West Virginia)
Richard Wayne Smith (Texas)*
Richard Wayne Snell (Arkansas)*
Richard Wayne Spicknall (Alabama)
Randall Wayne Stevens (Illinois)
John Wayne Stockdall (Missouri)
Michael Wayne Summers (Missouri)
Gary Wayne Sutton (Tennessee)
Bobby Wayne Swisher (Virginia)*
Michael Wayne Thompson (Indiana)
Andrew Wayne Toler (Texas)
Robert Wayne Vickers (Arizona)*
Billy Wayne Waldrop (Alabama)*
Anthony Wayne Walker (Ohio)
Jerry Wayne Walker (Kentucky)
Jessie Wayne Walker (North Carolina)
Chadwick Wayne Wallace (Illinois)
Daniel Wayne Warfield (Virginia)
John Wayne Warrener (Colorado)
Alexander Wayne Watson Jr. (Maryland)
Louis Wayne Watters, Jr. (Texas)
Coy Wayne Wesbrook (Texas)
Larry Wayne White (Texas)*
Michael Wayne Williams (Virginia)
Richard Wayne Willoughby (Maryland)
Kenneth Wayne Woodfin (Virginia)
Bobby Wayne Woods (Texas)
Darrell Wayne Wright (Texas)
Jerry Wayne Wright (Tennessee)
William Wayne Wright (Texas)


664 posted on 03/30/2006 3:35:23 PM PST by MeanWestTexan (Many at FR would respond to Christ "Darn right, I'll cast the first stone!")
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To: DarkSavant

"Zebulon."

But that is a good old testament name. And didn't he have a brother named Gad?

More bibically knowledable freepers will know.


665 posted on 03/30/2006 3:35:33 PM PST by jocon307 (The Silent Majority - silent no longer)
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To: MeanWestTexan

good grief!!!!


666 posted on 03/30/2006 3:36:24 PM PST by cyborg (I just love that man.)
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To: bert
the twins across the street are Nicholas and Dakota....Nic and Cody. cody got screwed.

Could be worse: they could be Zack and Cody, and then they'd have to put up with Disney Channel references.

667 posted on 03/30/2006 3:37:12 PM PST by Tanniker Smith (I didn't know she was a liberal when I married her.)
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To: pnz1

I can see "Demi", and even how she pronounces it (de-MEE). It's short for Demetria (de-MEE-tree-uh). Now, if she really was Greek it would make perfect sense...


668 posted on 03/30/2006 3:37:38 PM PST by Windcatcher (Earth to libs: MARXISM DOESN'T SELL HERE. Try somewhere else.)
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To: cyborg

We are equal opportunity offenders, here.

I didn't want you to get the wrong idea.


669 posted on 03/30/2006 3:38:06 PM PST by MeanWestTexan (Many at FR would respond to Christ "Darn right, I'll cast the first stone!")
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To: Juana la Loca

"she refused to change it because she didn't want to shame her mother."

Awwwww, so I guess her mom was OK, despite that momentary slip up.


670 posted on 03/30/2006 3:39:34 PM PST by jocon307 (The Silent Majority - silent no longer)
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To: cyborg

"Wow 600 posts in one day? FReepers love to talk about black folks, esp. when it's all bad."

Oh, right...it's all about YOU and it's all bad.

Grow up, then read the thread.


671 posted on 03/30/2006 3:39:49 PM PST by Altamira (Get the UN out of the US, and the US out of the UN!)
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To: tomswiftjr
Had a patient named Formica once.

Could be a family name. There are a lot of strange first names that were last names first.

Here's one that would be cool: A girl with the last name Howlin marries a guy with the last name Wolf.

They could name their baby Howlin Wolf!

672 posted on 03/30/2006 3:39:54 PM PST by stands2reason
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To: MeanWestTexan

Am I missing something, or does that list lack "John Wayne Gacy"?


673 posted on 03/30/2006 3:40:00 PM PST by DuncanWaring (The Lord uses the good ones; the bad ones use the Lord.)
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To: Altamira

I haven't heard that 'credit to your race' thing for a long time. We must be around the same age. : )

Affirmative Action is a double-edged sword. Minorities should think twice before they go into any program that marks them, from the outset, as something other than anyone else in the classroom or job site.


674 posted on 03/30/2006 3:40:13 PM PST by radiohead (Hey Kerry, I'm still here; still hating your lying, stinking guts, you coward.)
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To: jocon307

The only thing that is very frustating is that there are a lot of people who aren't black who THINK biblical names are black names. Case in point...Azariah :( Also, another non-biblical name that I've heard is Quantrell. It's not black either, not black in its origin. It should not matter WHAT name you have. No one encourages Jews or Italians to change their names to avoid prejudice (not anymore!). I had a father old enough to remember when Italians with a lot of money who looked really white would do just that.


675 posted on 03/30/2006 3:40:24 PM PST by cyborg (I just love that man.)
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To: MeanWestTexan

"Nah., I've been talking about how you know someone is white trash and a killer if their middle name is "Wayne." "

You forgot John Wayne Gacy.


676 posted on 03/30/2006 3:40:35 PM PST by old_sage_says ("Man does not live by his words alone, despite the fact that he sometimes has to eat them" A S)
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To: twippo
By the way, while we on the subject:
People, For Heaven's Sake, Enough Already
Naming Your Daughter
Brooke Lynn
has been done already!!!

677 posted on 03/30/2006 3:40:47 PM PST by Tanniker Smith (I didn't know she was a liberal when I married her.)
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To: Altamira

Thanks for your opinion! Have an awesome weekend.


678 posted on 03/30/2006 3:40:54 PM PST by cyborg (I just love that man.)
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To: greyfoxx39

Your son is Jody? I like that. My son's name is Jordan. Back in the mid 70's it was a novel new name. Now you hear it all the time for both boys and girls.


679 posted on 03/30/2006 3:41:00 PM PST by colorcountry (You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.....CS Lewis)
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To: DuncanWaring

No, Gacy (and about 10 more notorious Waynes) was/were in the preamble paragraph that I cut out from the N.O.T.W. link.


680 posted on 03/30/2006 3:41:33 PM PST by MeanWestTexan (Many at FR would respond to Christ "Darn right, I'll cast the first stone!")
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