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Open Editorial: You Named Your Baby WHAT???
Onyx Magazine ^ | March, 2006 | Josephine Hammond

Posted on 03/30/2006 12:41:35 PM PST by twippo

Someone needs to sit our people down and have a healthy discussion about the names we as African Americans are giving our children. We are hurting our kids and putting their futures in peril from the moment they are born.

That’s right, I said it. We are KILLING our kids and crippling their futures with the names we give them. Don’t you want your kids to get JOBS someday? Good jobs, and serious careers? With a name like Jaquez Ja’Quan Diante’, you’re dooming your sons to a life of drug dealing on some seedy street corner.

Our Black men face enough challenges. I do not subscribe to the notion that we are giving our children names that “convey pride in their African Heritage”. We’re way off the mark. I’ve got dear friends from all over Africa, and their children have beautiful cultural names like Akos, Ama, and Fia.

Notice how neither of those names had a “quita” in it? Or an “eisha”? Or more than four syllables? That’s because even in the motherland, they don’t give their kids the crazy names that we do in Black America. Many Africans even RESENT the implication that these names stem from their culture. I’ve yet to meet anyone from any African nation named Shaquandiniquah Takei’sha, or any other of the ‘colorful’ monikers we’re pinning on brand new precious lives.

Parents, we are stacking the odds against our children from birth. We’ve been doing it for generations, but we get mighty cross when white and mainstream America laughs and mocks us. With a name like Quieshianiquita (I know, I can’t pronounce it either), you’re dooming your children to employment at no better than a dollar store or the nearest fast-food joint.

You are automatically relegated in the minds of many to second-class citizenry, because when they hear the name, they instantly categorize you as ignorant, ghetto, incompetent, uneducated, and not worthy of much respect or basic human considerations.

We hear so often about African American students who excel in school, etc. and “beat the odds.” Well, guess what? Often times, the “odds they have to beat” is the tough challenge of being taken seriously in America with the atrocious name you gave them...names like Jaqui’sheia Sha’qu’an Tai’isha. If they can get someone to look past the name (and quit laughing), there is remarkable talent there in that person.

Unfortunately though, much of mainstream America isn’t willing to find this out. Come in with the wrong name, and you are nothing more than fodder for stereotypical, distasteful jokes. We as African Americans face enough challenges as it is. Our kids deserve a better start and a way better shot than this.

You’re angry with me? I can live with that. Now answer this: when have you ever seen an IBM Executive or a fancy New York office with a fancy highrise office door nameplate that says “Quandaniquah Roshel-Shaquita, Chief Executive Officer”? When? You don’t, and you never have, because the reality is, corporate America and a huge chuck of mainstream doesn’t have a high regard for those names. Quite frankly, you won’t be taken seriously.

I’ve been behind many a closed door with white corporate America. Oddly enough, many of them still see the Negro in the room as ‘non-existent’ or invisible, so they talked like I wasn’t even in the room. I hear everything they say. When Nakia Shaniquah-Quashiqua fills out an application, they have a field day in the office. Once they get their fill of ghetto and ‘weave’ jokes and ripping you to pieces sight unseen, they usually toss the application, or it gets stuck in the ‘bottom of the pile’. If they do hire you, you’re relegated to some meaningless, inconsequential task behind the scenes so they won’t be embarrased by you.

I’ve learned the harsh truth that right or wrong, no quality mainstream company wants someone named (oh just pick a name) representing them in the forefront. We don’t hear that, though. We just want you to get the name right, and look at you funny if you don’t. I recall a time a young woman got really cross with me because her name was LaShi’quita and I forgot to capitalize the ‘S’ and left the little accent mark off the first ‘i’ - how was I supposed to know? But lawd ha’mercy...what did I do THAT for? She was mad, hostile, and ready to FIGHT! It was a BIG ridiculously overblown embarassing ordeal (for her), and that’s OUR fault, parents.

She wouldn’t have such a huge chip on her shoulder and be so defensive, confrontational and mean if we had just given her a name that the average person can pronounce or spell. No spell check in the world can help, so most of her existence is spent correcting the spelling of her name, and feeling disrespected because people can’t get it right. We set her up for this constant and unnecessary battle.

I do not advocate naming all our children Bobby and Susie. But let’s do our babies a favor and keep the syllables down to a minimum, leave out the suffixes “quita”, “sheika”,“eisha”, “niqua”, “quan”...anysuffix with the letter ‘Q’. I could go on, but you get where I'm headed.And if you want your child to have an authentic African or other ethnic name, do a little research. Don’t just make up a name and expect the world to be able to spell and pronounce it. You're not being original or cute. That child has to LIVE with that horrible name, and that's not funny...or cute.

Amen. Now pass the cornbread.


TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: africanamerican; aquanetta; babynames; black; brerrabbit; byanyothername; children; deandre; dejames; ebonics; jaquezjaquan; lemonjello; name; names; nintendo; orangejello; spechal; unusualnames
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To: Xenalyte

Grandmother named Agnes Serepta, another one named Aurelia Rozella and Grandfather Herbert Nello...kid you not.


501 posted on 03/30/2006 2:11:09 PM PST by colorcountry (You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.....CS Lewis)
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To: LS

I went to 2 kids who got ribbed unmercifly, one was named Happy New Year and the other was Merry Christmas.

The strangest part was they were both in the same class.


502 posted on 03/30/2006 2:11:20 PM PST by dalereed
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To: TeddyCon

Mrs. jimfree encountered a woman named Yvonne. She pronounced it Why-von.


503 posted on 03/30/2006 2:11:33 PM PST by jimfree (Freep and ye shall find.)
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To: Sweet_Sunflower29

My husband was a little ahead of his time, and I a little behind the times so we both grew up without any of those personalized things.

We were both disappointed when they started showing up.

Ironically, the same thing appears to be happening to our son who is just sick about it. Fortunately it is running about ten years back, so it doesn't matter. I think the same thing will happen to our daughter.


504 posted on 03/30/2006 2:12:03 PM PST by pollyannaish
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To: linda_22003
So often, it's a relief when names die out. My grandmother had friends named Blanche and Gertrude

Ethel, Esther, Beatrice, all sorta died out. Good.

505 posted on 03/30/2006 2:13:03 PM PST by NYC Republican
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To: twippo

Everybody knows of the Greek mythic hero Heracles. Nobody remembers his cousin, Testacles


506 posted on 03/30/2006 2:14:30 PM PST by orionblamblam (A furore Normannorum libera nos, Domine)
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To: World'sGoneInsane

Huh? I thought DP was double pen.... nevermind.


507 posted on 03/30/2006 2:15:16 PM PST by BruceysMom (.I'm hot & not in a good way, menopause ain't for sissies.)
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To: null and void

ROFLOL. Red Dwarf fan, right?


508 posted on 03/30/2006 2:15:27 PM PST by pollyannaish
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To: old_sage_says
"name is Fonda and her last name is Peters."

There was a high school girl who played basketball, on a high-performing team in Iowa (she was a strong competitor as well). Her name was Fonda Dix. Same problem.

509 posted on 03/30/2006 2:16:10 PM PST by Irene Adler
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To: twippo
Kids in our county schools:

Dilyn
Kay'Ron
Aziahnna
Marnesia
Djmore Moore (that's just wrong)
A'Kira
Marquis
Ajaylha (how's this pronounced?)
Enphyniti (how sad)
Sheverlay (is this where the poor kid was conceived?)

510 posted on 03/30/2006 2:16:31 PM PST by OB1kNOb (America is the land of the free BECAUSE of the BRAVE !!)
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To: Redcloak

So.....what do you think of people with the last name Rodriguez, Martinez, Trujillo, Juaqez, Sisneros, Suarez, or Salazar?


511 posted on 03/30/2006 2:16:42 PM PST by colorcountry (You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.....CS Lewis)
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To: All
Stupid Name #1: There's a bag boy at one of the local Publix supermarkets whose name is "NAME". He pronounces it: Nah-may (we asked him). His nametag is so stupid looking!!

Stupid Name #2: A friend of a friend taught in a nearby city's public school system and had a student in her class named "FORMICA". I never saw the spelling of her last name, but it was pronounced just like "DINETTE". Duh...

512 posted on 03/30/2006 2:17:00 PM PST by Amanda King
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To: beaversmom

Madycine could very well also be pronounced like "medicine". I met a girl called Aspirini (from India).


513 posted on 03/30/2006 2:17:04 PM PST by angelanddevil2
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To: Verginius Rufus

Yes, and I've always loved the name Ashley..for a man...ever since. This may be one of those posts that I need to note again that I am a woman.


514 posted on 03/30/2006 2:17:10 PM PST by TXBubba ( Democrats: If they don't abort you then they will tax you to death.)
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To: Xenalyte

No joke. My urologist is Patrick P. Daily ..or... P.P.Daily


515 posted on 03/30/2006 2:17:19 PM PST by A. Patriot
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My mother's name was Madoris and she hated it.
She named her two sons after English kings.


516 posted on 03/30/2006 2:17:37 PM PST by Syberyenta
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To: TNCMAXQ

I think Demi and Bruce also have one named Rumor--after Rumor Godden probably.


517 posted on 03/30/2006 2:18:07 PM PST by beaversmom
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To: DejaJude
OMG! I actually have a cousin named Cash! At least, I always thought that was his legal name.

I have a cousin named Twig. I did find out his legal name when he got married, but I can't remember it now.

518 posted on 03/30/2006 2:18:38 PM PST by Dianna
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To: linda_22003
"There were very wealthy sisters in Texas many years ago, whose last name was Hogg. Their father must have hated them; he named them Ima and Ura. I'm totally not making this up."

You are wrong. There was no Ura. Ima was real, and a wealthy, Texas philanthropist and society woman. She had three brothers, but no sister, and there was not a child in the family named Ura.

519 posted on 03/30/2006 2:18:47 PM PST by Irene Adler
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To: jawz
"Dashiki," which is Swahili for "Always Pregnant."

(From "Don't be a Menace to Society II")

520 posted on 03/30/2006 2:19:41 PM PST by LS (CNN is the Amtrak of news)
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