Posted on 03/30/2006 12:41:35 PM PST by twippo
Someone needs to sit our people down and have a healthy discussion about the names we as African Americans are giving our children. We are hurting our kids and putting their futures in peril from the moment they are born.
That’s right, I said it. We are KILLING our kids and crippling their futures with the names we give them. Don’t you want your kids to get JOBS someday? Good jobs, and serious careers? With a name like Jaquez Ja’Quan Diante’, you’re dooming your sons to a life of drug dealing on some seedy street corner.
Our Black men face enough challenges. I do not subscribe to the notion that we are giving our children names that “convey pride in their African Heritage”. We’re way off the mark. I’ve got dear friends from all over Africa, and their children have beautiful cultural names like Akos, Ama, and Fia.
Notice how neither of those names had a “quita” in it? Or an “eisha”? Or more than four syllables? That’s because even in the motherland, they don’t give their kids the crazy names that we do in Black America. Many Africans even RESENT the implication that these names stem from their culture. I’ve yet to meet anyone from any African nation named Shaquandiniquah Takei’sha, or any other of the ‘colorful’ monikers we’re pinning on brand new precious lives.
Parents, we are stacking the odds against our children from birth. We’ve been doing it for generations, but we get mighty cross when white and mainstream America laughs and mocks us. With a name like Quieshianiquita (I know, I can’t pronounce it either), you’re dooming your children to employment at no better than a dollar store or the nearest fast-food joint.
You are automatically relegated in the minds of many to second-class citizenry, because when they hear the name, they instantly categorize you as ignorant, ghetto, incompetent, uneducated, and not worthy of much respect or basic human considerations.
We hear so often about African American students who excel in school, etc. and “beat the odds.” Well, guess what? Often times, the “odds they have to beat” is the tough challenge of being taken seriously in America with the atrocious name you gave them...names like Jaqui’sheia Sha’qu’an Tai’isha. If they can get someone to look past the name (and quit laughing), there is remarkable talent there in that person.
Unfortunately though, much of mainstream America isn’t willing to find this out. Come in with the wrong name, and you are nothing more than fodder for stereotypical, distasteful jokes. We as African Americans face enough challenges as it is. Our kids deserve a better start and a way better shot than this.
You’re angry with me? I can live with that. Now answer this: when have you ever seen an IBM Executive or a fancy New York office with a fancy highrise office door nameplate that says “Quandaniquah Roshel-Shaquita, Chief Executive Officer”? When? You don’t, and you never have, because the reality is, corporate America and a huge chuck of mainstream doesn’t have a high regard for those names. Quite frankly, you won’t be taken seriously.
I’ve been behind many a closed door with white corporate America. Oddly enough, many of them still see the Negro in the room as ‘non-existent’ or invisible, so they talked like I wasn’t even in the room. I hear everything they say. When Nakia Shaniquah-Quashiqua fills out an application, they have a field day in the office. Once they get their fill of ghetto and ‘weave’ jokes and ripping you to pieces sight unseen, they usually toss the application, or it gets stuck in the ‘bottom of the pile’. If they do hire you, you’re relegated to some meaningless, inconsequential task behind the scenes so they won’t be embarrased by you.
I’ve learned the harsh truth that right or wrong, no quality mainstream company wants someone named (oh just pick a name) representing them in the forefront. We don’t hear that, though. We just want you to get the name right, and look at you funny if you don’t. I recall a time a young woman got really cross with me because her name was LaShi’quita and I forgot to capitalize the ‘S’ and left the little accent mark off the first ‘i’ - how was I supposed to know? But lawd ha’mercy...what did I do THAT for? She was mad, hostile, and ready to FIGHT! It was a BIG ridiculously overblown embarassing ordeal (for her), and that’s OUR fault, parents.
She wouldn’t have such a huge chip on her shoulder and be so defensive, confrontational and mean if we had just given her a name that the average person can pronounce or spell. No spell check in the world can help, so most of her existence is spent correcting the spelling of her name, and feeling disrespected because people can’t get it right. We set her up for this constant and unnecessary battle.
I do not advocate naming all our children Bobby and Susie. But let’s do our babies a favor and keep the syllables down to a minimum, leave out the suffixes “quita”, “sheika”,“eisha”, “niqua”, “quan”...anysuffix with the letter ‘Q’. I could go on, but you get where I'm headed.And if you want your child to have an authentic African or other ethnic name, do a little research. Don’t just make up a name and expect the world to be able to spell and pronounce it. You're not being original or cute. That child has to LIVE with that horrible name, and that's not funny...or cute.
Amen. Now pass the cornbread.
Did you hear about where she broke her leg? She commissioned a wing at the hospital that fixed her up.
It was called Picabo ICU, of course. (rimshot)
"And, no joke, I went to HS with a retarded girl named Pigg. Her idiot parents named her . . . Ima. I kid you not."
One of our famous Texas govenors was named Pigg. He named his daughters Ima, and Youra.
You know, somewhere there is a QWERTY, probably the kid of a typing teacher. :)
As everyone has been saying, it's not only Blacks....some people find humor when putting the first and last name together to form names (actual people I know):
Kelly Green, Sandy Beech, Charles (Chuck) Gluck
There is a Dr. Slaughter here, I used to love to hear him paged.
I was delivered by a Dr. Godfrey,,I for years thought Arthur Godfrey delivered me.
I have apologized for that already!
"Someone cracked that she was lucky her name wasn't Bedell. Turns out that's what they named her brother! "
I know someone named Bernard who named his son Benard (sic.) The sister was named Christinea (sic.) And this was the state of black names 65 years ago. It's only gone downhill since.
I had an Uncle Homer and I have an Aunt Fairie who is still kicking at age 95.
I'm mixed. My black name is Shaniqa Jo.
Seriously, I've been saying this same thing for years. Generally, middle class blacks don't saddle their children with these godawful names, but over the past few years I've seen a few creep into the fold. Stop it people! You are dooming your child to a life at minimum wage or in the back room.
btw - the author mentions white laughter at these names. Trust me, plenty of blacks are laughing at them as well.
Where I used to work, we managed money for a nurse whose last name was Halfpap. She lived in Climax, Michigan.
And don't think we were at all grown-up about THAT.
A boy named Sue?
Here's a funny story - there was a black man in Nashville named Su (last name I've forgotten) - he owned a famous nightclub there, the Modern Era, I believe. I have always wondered if Shel Silverstein knew him, and if he was the inspiration for the song.
lol...on a thread this active you're bound to find at least few posters who don't use FR's "view replies" option.
No urban myth, I worked for a dentist in high school. Two of his patients were twins, oranjello and lemonjello. Cute little identical boys. Lots of fun.
There is a white family quite well educated who named their son Braxton Hicks! I dunno--maybe she was in labor a little too long.
I was given a goofy name at birth, not that bad, and had to spend close to 100 dollars to change it though probate court. My parents do not accept it and think I was crazy to change it. I pretty much have a dual name now with family calling me by my old name and all new acquaintances by my new legal one. The name my parents gave me would have been fine had we lived in central Europe but we lived in the central United States.
Almost forgot a married couple who were friends of my brother: Frank and Frances Francis (And yes, his actual name was Francis Francis!)
Sweet!
We have a friend who has been called "Brother" since he was a baby. His wife says she gets funny looks when she introduces him as "my husband, Brother."
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