Idiots on Parade (ILLUSTRATED)

Demonstrators march in Los Angeles, California, to protest proposed illegal immigration legislation. Half a million protesters paralyzed downtown Los Angeles, demanding amnesty for undocumented immigrants and rejection of a proposed law that would drastically tighten US immigration rules. Members of the Brotherhood of Undocumented Idiots chanted "GIVE US FREE MEDICAL AND DENTAL!" while playing bongos on Adams Blvd.

Holding tightly to her anchor babies, an unidentified undocumented immigrant explains that she appreciates the free breakfast and lunch program in the Los Angeles Unified School System and is trading in her foodstamps for lotto tickets.

Jesus "Chewy" Sanchez leads the crowd in favorite chant, "ONLY BIGOTS PUT LAWBREAKERS IN JAIL!"

Thousands take to the streets of Los Angeles, Saturday, outraged by congressional bill HR 4437 which dares to infringe upon the rights of illegals to cross the border illegally.

Yolanda Araujo demonstrates how phony I.D. cards are made in any number of shops on Alvarado Street.

Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaragosa, who flunked the bar exam four times and cannot legally practice law in the state of California, urges the crowd to continue their fight for "the right to come across the border and sponge off U.S. tax payers!"

Protesters demanding the rights of illegals to have same sex marriages in downtown Los Angeles, Saturday. (AP)

Protesters show solidarity with the Los Angeles county jail population, over one quarter of which are illegal immigrants who were felons in Mexico as well.

TEXT OF THE PRESIDENTIAL ADDRESS TO THE NATION
SATURDAY, APRIL XX, 20XX

My Fellow Americans:

In the past seventy-two hours, a remarkable political event has occurred. In your Congress, members of both parties have joined forces to pass new and bold legislation that will ensure the integrity of our borders and regularize the process by which Americans are identified. This new legislation -- the National Security Act of 20XX -- takes effect at midnight tonight.

What effect will the new Act have on you? Outwardly, very little. If you are an American citizen, or a legal resident of the United States, your daily routine will be largely unchanged. If you are a employer, your hiring procedures will be affected to a small degree. Schools, colleges, universities, and other public institutions will feel the effect somewhat more, but the changes the Act will require will not be unduly onerous. However, if you are a person who is currently within the borders of the United States without benefit of citizenship, visa, or other permission, your life is about to become difficult indeed.

Why? Simply put, the government of the United States is about to resume its primary function: protecting the people of the several states from foreign invasion, an invasion that has been going on for many years. Until now, the leaders elected to the government of the United States have for various reasons, chosen to ignore this invasion, tolerate its effects, and justify their ignorance and dereliction of duty by mischaracterizing this invasion as mere "illegal immigration". No more. With the passage of the National Security Act, the officials elected by you to govern our country will resume the duty of maintaining the territorial integrity of the United States, and of undoing the damage created by the dereliction of previous administrations.

Our goal is threefold: first, to define and identify those who have the right to be within our borders; second, to apprehend and remove from our country those who have no legal right to be here; and third, to re-establish and defend the borders of the United States.

With these goals in mind, as President of the United States I have issued a series Exeuctive Orders directing the various agencies of the federal government to put the provisions of the National Security Act into effect. The complete text of each of these orders, along with that of the National Security Act, will appear in your local newspaper tomorrow moring. These documents are also available to you via the internet, and will be transmitted over radio and television. By familiarizing yourself with these documents, you will be prepared for the changes which we as a nation will be experiencing over the weeks and months to come.

First comes Identification. Monday, May XX is Identification Day, or ID Day. This is the day for citizens and legal residents of the United States to stand up and be counted. Within the next sixty days, your Census Department will be establishing Citzen Centers in every county seat in the United States. The purpose of these facilities is to establish an accurate and legal census of the legal residents of each county. This census will be the basis from which your new United States Citizen Identification Card will be issued. On ID Day, all citizens and legal residents of the United States will have the opportunity to establish their status by appearing at the Citzen Center in their home county and presenting proof of status to a Court established for that purpose by your state government. In most cases, this Court will consist of your local county judge and his staff. The process of establishing your status will be simple: you simply register with the Court, stand before the judge, swear or affirm to your status, and submit certified copies of your birth certificate, passport, naturalization papers, or other documents as evidence. On your way out, you will be issued a temporary card -- similar to your current Driving license -- containing your identification data and photograph. That is all. A few weeks later, upon confirmation of your documents, you will receive a permanent Identification Card in the mail. This card contains your personal data stored on a digital memory module. The data on the module is your property and will be recorded only on the card itself and, in paper form, at your countty courthouse. Under the Act, this dats cannot be accessed -- even by another agency of the federal, state, or local government -- without a federal court order. Its purpose is to identify you as a citizen or legal resident of the United States in cases where such identification is necessary -- for example, when you collect your Social Security benefits, military pension, or when you go to vote. This card will also serve as an adjunct to your current paper passport and will be used to identify you as a citzen or legal resident when you apply for employment within the United States.

I want to stress that your new ID Card is in no way connected with your personal finances, credit, or ability to buy or sell. It is intended to identify you as a citizen or legal resident of the United States, and can legally be used for no other purpose. Any entity found guilty of abusing your Citizen Identification data, or of requiring you to provide it to them for any illegitimate purpose, will be subject to prosecution by federal law enforcement authorities.

Next comes Enforcement Day, or E-Day. Six months after ID Day, your employer will be required to establish the employment status of each person on its payroll. Your new ID card is all you need on E-Day. Just show it to your employer; they will electronically verify it with your county courthouse, confirm your right to work in the United States, and return the card to you. From E-Day on, each employer in the United States will be legally required to verify your status when you take a new job, but, again, it will be a simple process.

The effect of this procedure will be simple: beginning on E-Day, it will be impossible for anyone other than a citizen or legal resident of the United States to hold a legitimate job in our country. Likewise, it will be impossible for those without the legal right to be here to collect government benefits, operate a motor vehicle, or vote in an election; verified Citizen ID will be required for each. Employers who are caught employing illegal aliens "off the books", falsiying or evading the verification process, or otherwise violating the provisions of the Act, will become subject to federal criminal prosecution, including seizure of assets. Those persons attempting to vote, collect federal benefits, or otherwise enjoy the benefits of legal residents and citizens will be arrested, confined, and deported as soon as possible.

Finally comes Border Day. As commander in chief of the United States armed forces, I have directed the Joint Chiefs of Staff to seal the borders of the United States, effective immediately. To this end, I have tonight issued an executive order establishing a national invasion emergency and with it defense areas along our nation's coasts and borders: the Atlantic Sea Frontier, extending from Maine to the Tidewater area of Virginia; the Southeastern Sea Frontier, extending from Tidewater to Pensacola, Florida, and including the United States Virgin Islands and Puerto Rico; the Gulf Coast Sea Frontier, from Pensacola to the tip of Texas near Brownsville; the Southwestern Frontier, comprising our borders with Mexico; the Western Sea Frontier, extending from the Mexican border south of San Diego north to the Canadian Border and including Alaska, Hawaii, and our Pacific territories and possessions; and the Northern Frontier, encompassing the U.S.-Canadian border, the Great Lakes, and the Saint Lawrence Seaway, thence eastward to Maine. Each of these military areas will extend from the border inland for one hundred kilometers, and will be technically under martial law for the duration of the emergency. Within these areas the normal legal and judicial processes will continue, however, at the discretion of the military command authority in each area, military forces will have authority to detain, interrogate, and confine any person suspected of violating the National Security Act. I have also instructed the Chuefs to create a military command strictly tasked with border defense. This is our country's new Continental Defense Command, or CONDEFCOM. Headquartered at Fort Sam Houston in San Antionio, Texas CONDEFCOM will consist of your state's Guard forces, regular Armed Forces personnel, and federal and state law enforcement personnel. These brave men and women will establish and maintain our borders secure from those who would invade our country.

To assist them in this task I have furthermore directed the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers to immediately begin contruction of a physical Border Integrity Perimeter slong our land frontiers with Canada and Mexico. This facility will be a physical and electronic "fence" extending along the complete length of our borders, employing both time-tested and new techniques to keep intruders out. Our border crossings will be fortified and garrisoned with CONDEFCOM units to prevent unauthorized entry into our country. Our ports and coastlines will be patrolled by our Coast Guard, assisted by our state's own civilian naval auxiliary and by unmanned air and sea vehicles. And the airspace and orbital pathwaus above our nation will fall under increased scrutiny from your Air Force, Air National Guard, and a new generation of surveillance satellites.

All this done well, and within a year your government will have begun to do what it should have been doing all along: protecting the people of the United States from invasion from abroad.

My fellow citizens, I realize that these changes may seem abrupt, and even -- to some -- frightening. I want to assure you tonight that there is nothing to fear. Yes, there will be changes to come in all of our lives, some of which may seem drastic and even unsettling. This is because we are working to clean up a mess of many years in a few short months. Yes, there will be inefficiencies, mistakes, and omissions. No government is perfect, and ours is no exception. As your President, I ask of all you who find yourselves inconvenienced, frustrated, or exasperated by such imperfections to bear with your government in a spirit of patience and patriotism. Our goal is not to hurt anyone, deny anyone their God-given rights, or to intrude into areas of anyone's life where government has no business. Our goal is to protect and defend the Constitution and people of the United States, and no more. To that end, your representatives and I have taken these actions, and we pledge to you our faithful service.

Finally, to our neighbors on the American continent: we extend to you the hand of fraternity and soildarity now as always, and ask in return only that you respect our nation in like manner. We will do everything in our power to treat hose of your country who are found to be in violation of our laws with justice, compassion, and humanity. Nevertheless, our friends to the north and south should be aware that, while we mean them no ill will, the United States is a nation with borders, and that those borders will be defended.

To this, I pledge my very best efforts on your behalf as President, and I ask you, my fellow citizens, for your forbearance, support, and prayers in the difficult weeks and months ahead. Good night, and God bless America.

TEXT ENDS

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