Man shoots goose. Will the judge cook his?

The Chicago Tribune ^ | 3/15/2006 | Ted Gregory

[RushCrush]

Like a lot of homeowners, Larry Tomko has grown weary of geese. He's tired of scraping poop from his driveway with a snow shovel. He's fed up with boorish geese gobbling millet he leaves for chickadees. He feels overrun when dozens of the feathery transients loll in the pond a few steps from his yard.

When his frustration brims, Tomko has run out his front door waving his arms and shouting at the geese. Sometimes he launches bottle rockets at them. About 10 years ago, he started firing pellets from an old air rifle at the geese. They would squawk and flee.

Then on Feb. 26, he killed one, accidentally, sort of, with the pellet gun. Geese are federally protected, and neighbor Jack Casino saw it. Casino is a former hunter who said he has seen too many innocent animals suffer at the hands of man.

Now, Tomko has a date with the criminal justice system. And the incident has generated anxiety in the bucolic, unincorporated Winfield Township subdivision, transforming the place into a microcosm of the decades-long conflict known as man versus goose.

[Calpernia]

Actually no. My sister's friends told me that when I was little.

I guess they were teasing me.

[VeritatisSplendor]

"Tomko was charged with unlawful taking of a migratory waterfowl, a misdemeanor violation of the Illinois Conservation Code. "

If I were him, I'd challenge "migratory."

Mrs VS

[Calpernia]

>>>Oddly, it always involves New Jersey.

You know I'm in Jersey, right?


::lowers head in shame::

[Beagle8U]

"Alka Seltzer tablets wrapped in bread dough balls causes the desired results. Something about birds not being able to burp."

That works great on seagulls too...lol

If you don't want to kill them, try hollowing out the dough ball and filling it with Tabasco sauce, they won't be back!

[Doomonyou]

He feels overrun when dozens of the feathery transients loll in the pond a few steps from his yard.

Build a fence Einstien.

[Admin Moderator]

We have excerpting rules for a reason. And they don't include so you can post more of the story as a reply.

[ArrogantBustard]

Birds fly.

Einstein.

[B4Ranch]

Tabasco sauce isn't worth having in the kitchen. Use chopped habenero peppers for the full effect.

[xusafflyer]

Here in Indianapolis, we have those stupid birds all over the place. They are nothing but vermin. I don't blame the guy for popping one of them.

[pie_eater]

My parents have a pond with about 300 geese that hang around and poo everywhere. When bird flu finally arrives here, it's spread in the poo of infected animals and can live in the poo for over a month during cold times. We called the state to find out what we're allowed to do to get rid of the geese. There's a goose season in the fall that they're talking about extending this year to cut down on the numbers, but the fall will be long after bird flu gets here.
They have 4 non-lethal things they allow:
1) Floating fake alligator heads. Geese are afraid of alligators.
2) Floating fake dead geese. Sort of like a reverse decoy.
3) Several companies make non-lethal repellent you sprinkle on the grass.
4) A sonic alarm that plays the sound of scared and agitated geese.
But you can't shoot 'em. At least not in Maryland.

[Cobra64]

But if I touch them, the neighbors go ballistic! I'm precluded from even threatening them in any fashion.Grrrr.

We live on Lake James here in Western, NC and would probably have the same problem with the neighbors. Hence the use of a .22 sub-sonic.

Upsides: Quiet, nolouder than a pellet gun. Ammo is dirt cheap

Downsides: Limited range, will not chamber subsequent rounds in a semi. Ergo, if you want to load more than one round at a time, I use a 4x scope mounted Marlin lever-action with 17 rounds in the tube.

[proud_yank]

[ko_kyi]

I sincerely hope that your acquaintance did not sustain serious damage to his Jeep Cherokee.

I live in a suburb of DC and there is a pond near the main road to my neighborhood. Near this pond the geese wander around all the roads. One day I was driving home in my 97 suzuki sidekick when a group of 3 waddled right in front of my car and despite slamming on the brakes I ran over one with my left rear tire.

I looked in my rear view mirror and saw it walking away. I knew that the suzuki sidekick was really light in the rear, but that day I resolved that my next car would be heavy enough to squash a goose.

[B4Ranch]

I would love to see a pigeon explode from some sort of nice quiet trick like that. Oh really, I would!

[ArrogantBustard]

But you can't shoot 'em. At least not in Maryland.

Except during goose season ... which is 'way too short, and the bag limits are 'way too low (One per day?!?!?!).

-Bustard, who eats dead gooses

[proud_yank]

This is MY solution!

[Atlas Sneezed]

"Floating fake dead geese."

---

Made me recall a Monty Python skit:

'crunchy raw unboned real dead frog'

http://orangecow.org/pythonet/sketches/crunchy.htm

[Doomonyou]

Build a 30,000 foot tall fence.

Duh.

[shelterguy]

If I remember right, geese even taste like shlitz. But it's been awhile.

[ArrogantBustard]

but that day I resolved that my next car would be heavy enough to squash a goose.

ROFL!!! Words to live by ...