Man shoots goose. Will the judge cook his?

The Chicago Tribune ^ | 3/15/2006 | Ted Gregory

[RushCrush]

Like a lot of homeowners, Larry Tomko has grown weary of geese. He's tired of scraping poop from his driveway with a snow shovel. He's fed up with boorish geese gobbling millet he leaves for chickadees. He feels overrun when dozens of the feathery transients loll in the pond a few steps from his yard.

When his frustration brims, Tomko has run out his front door waving his arms and shouting at the geese. Sometimes he launches bottle rockets at them. About 10 years ago, he started firing pellets from an old air rifle at the geese. They would squawk and flee.

Then on Feb. 26, he killed one, accidentally, sort of, with the pellet gun. Geese are federally protected, and neighbor Jack Casino saw it. Casino is a former hunter who said he has seen too many innocent animals suffer at the hands of man.

Now, Tomko has a date with the criminal justice system. And the incident has generated anxiety in the bucolic, unincorporated Winfield Township subdivision, transforming the place into a microcosm of the decades-long conflict known as man versus goose.

[fritzthecat]

I live on a small lake and the geese are a severe problem. They're nasty, mean-tempered, foul birds that each drop up to 3 pounds of crap every day. (With a flock of two dozen, do the math on the mess.)
But if I touch them, the neighbors go ballistic! I'm precluded from even threatening them in any fashion.Grrrr.

[Beagle8U]

"Maybe a state law, not a federal... They aren't on the endangered list and no limit"

All waterfowl are covered under Federal law.

[cyclotic]

A guiy I know used to work at a golf course. They used sub-sonic .22's to dispatch with geese till the cops told them they had to stop. So they switched to sneaking up on them with golf clubs and teeing off on their heads.

[BulletBobCo]

"Hey Larry, sucks to be you!"

[Calpernia]

There was a poll there too.

Gooseocide?


Should Larry Tomko be prosecuted for killing a goose?

34.2%
Yes (609 responses)

65.8%
No (1172 responses)

1781 total responses
(Poll results not scientific)

[cyclotic]

Sorry-fat finger disease

giuy = guy

[Zavien Doombringer]

that is kinda fowl...

[B4Ranch]

I have recently heard that Alka Seltzer tablets wrapped in bread dough balls causes the desired results. Something about birds not being able to burp.

[shelterguy]

There are tnousands of these feather covered turd machines here in Minneapolis. Every park, soccer, football field covered with their long green calling cards.

[tcostell]

Someone I know ....(but I'm not saying who) ... used to have geese which lived in the pond on his property making an enormous mess of his yard. His three year old couldn't walk down the driveway without being covered in it.

One day he was on his way home from work and halfway up his long driveway where it was bordered by forest on both sides he found about 12 of the geese who had been fouling the area. He claims that he now knows the precise zero to 50 acceleration rate of an adult goose...(and that it's substantially less than a Jeep Cherokee.)

I have nothing more to say on the subject.

[ArrogantBustard]

I sincerely hope that your acquaintance did not sustain serious damage to his Jeep Cherokee.

[Shalom Israel]

There is a free market solution.

[sgtbono2002]

I dont know Mr. Casino either. But I do know paybacks are hell and sooner or later ____________

[parsifal]

Oh whats a little poo-poo here and there gonna hurt. Look on the bright side: You get to watch their silly antics when they sneak up and peck another goose in the booty. You get to listen to their beautiful and plaintive little honking songs. You have a place to get rid of stale bread and crackers.

Just remember: Inside every goose is a happy little goose spirit that can liven up your day and teach you to be careful when you walk.

parsy, who cries over dead gooses.

[Calpernia]

In Union County, NJ the local officials gassed 2,700 geese and through them into a landfill.

Do you know how many food pantries that meat could have supplied??!!

That was such a sin.

I wish they would stop restraining hunters. Cause they would even work with the locales on donating the meat if they couldn't use it themselves.

[Cobra64]

So they switched to sneaking up on them with golf clubs and teeing off on their heads.

NOW... I understand the expression of being "teed-off." LOL

[B4Ranch]

Googled, found out it is a myth.

[freepatriot32]

I've read the constitution a few times in my life all the way throuh and ill be damned if i can find anything in there that give the federal government the authority to protect all waterfowl.Maybe I need the special supreme court issued captian midnight decoder ring that lets people see all the astrics that are sprinkled throughtout the constitution that us ignorant serfs fail to see when we read it though.

Libertarian ping.To be added or removed from my ping list freepmail me or post a message here

[Calpernia]

I know that works on sea gulls.

[B4Ranch]

Have you actually seen it?

http://www.birdwatchersdigest.com/site/backyard_birds/myths/myths.aspx

4. Exploding gulls.
Another exploding bird myth. I wonder why we are so attached to myths where something blows up. Must be the drama.

This myth proposes that if you feed a gull an Alka Seltzer tablet it will swallow the offering and when the lethal charge gets into the stomach and dissolves, the expanding gasses will cause the bird to explode. Every year there is another story about some mean kids doing this. Oddly, it always involves New Jersey.

After you stop giggling at the image of gulls exploding like flying land mines all over the Jersey shore, the unlikelihood of the myth starts to intrude. If it were true, it would be a big story. I can see the coverage now: Dan Rather in his safari jacket, standing on the windswept coast, hair blowing in the wind, gull feathers raining down in the background; PBS specials (who can resist the vision of a gull, cheerfully flying along and then suddenly exploding, right in front of the camera?); exposés in the tabloids.

If the body could not handle a little Alka Seltzer without an explosion, it wouldn't be legal to sell the stuff over the counter. If it caused gulls to explode, there would be a rash of reports every year. I do not know the physiological process by which the body processes a tablet swallowed whole (and I have no interest in trying), but I assume it involves, among other things, a fair amount of belching and a slightly gassy feeling. Actually, if I ate some of the stuff that gulls do, I would be thrilled to have a little relief, but they seem to do fine without it.