Posted on 03/11/2006 5:36:36 PM PST by wardaddy
I have seen plenty of articles on Free Republic about how children were being held back in school today at alarming rates, especially boys but it was not until a parent-teacher conference last week that it was made perfectly clear to me just how much has changed and how quickly.
Our beloved teacher of our May birthday five year old told us that we should consider "pre-first" because his writing skills are in the lower 40th percentile and that he is considered "young" for First Grade. He attends perhaps the most culturally conservative private school in Nashville proper and we were pretty shocked.
The boy had passed his acceptance exam last summer and had been tested for "gifted" at their suggestion at that time. He is extremely verbal and social and scores high on everything but writing. He was born leaning to ambidextrous and only chose his left hand about 5 months ago and has been tutored for such. He will be 6 this May and we had not held him back like quite a few parents of the GenX and GenY age group do. My wife and I are late boomer ...my wife is sorta boomer-X (1964) and I'm pretty solid mid boomer (1957).
The teacher informed us they had a pre-first program which we later determined to be simply a holding pattern(larger class and semi accredited teacher) mostly for boys to catch up motor skill wise with boys in their grade 12-24 months older. There are a lot girls there but generally they do better at focused skills early on for reasons obvious to anyone who has had children knows.
The kindergarten grade at my son's school consists of several classes and maybe 45 children. Of that group all but 3 boys were held back for pre-K and nearly half of girls as well.
What this has done is de facto made the average first grader now 7-8 years old depending on birthday time of year. When I was in public first grade back in fall 1963, the cutoff to turn 6 was December 31st of that year. Now, it runs to May31st in many private schools to August 31st in public schools.
Further, we never even addressed reading or writing till after Christmas of that year. Now, they are expected to be Dick and Jane level before entering First Grade.
Naps?..no more after lunch 30 minute naps for first graders(like we had) since they are all what used to be second and third graders. If your child wants to nap they are immature....at 5/6.
When I was in first grade they had 3 levels for writing, reading and arithmetic classes....remedial, average and advanced. Nowadays that is up to you...say hello to a tutor or Sylvan....which we are doing btw at 20-30 buck a session once or twice a week. I ask myself why am I paying 8000-9000 per year for kindergarten and they don't take that initiative as the school? They did for free 40 years ago in not too an enriched school district like Jackson Mississippi where I grew up.
After talking to a fair number of folks considered professionals in this stuff including the teacher who regrets being forced into this sort of thing by her superiors we discovered that indeed at least privately that by far most boys are held back to "pre-K" and nearly half of girls....at least here in Nashville and not just at our school. We should have seen this coming when he was one of a handful at his SBC pre-school to go straight to kindergarten.
The dear teacher advised us to complain to the administration about this de facto raising of the average school child's age and the subsequent expectations which were often particularly unreasonable for normal aged boys in said grade.
What these parents and administrators have done is make it extra difficult for old school parents like us to try to raise our children conservatively and not coddle them. I realize that there are socially immature children who get severe separation anxiety away from home do need that extra time but for right now a lot of parents do it for no real reason other than just because they think it's the thing to do...like Ritalin....another modern school malady which should only be reserved for those who really need it and not used just to make active boys chill out and act like nice attentive passive girls.
So, I'm sympathetic to FReepers who had good reasons to be a part of this revolution in our schools but it is a very big problem no doubt. We are going to end up with 19-20 year old seniors who have never failed a grade. We will have 16 year old full testosterone addled boys in 9th grade with 14 year old girls in the same class...what fun..lol
Early menses girls will be starting in 3rd grade at 10 .....simply incredible.
When I was 22 I was graduated from college and gone off to foreign lands to seek my fortune literally....now I could just be in my sophomore year at college.
Nuts.....the paradox is that this has raised expectations relatively yet society coddles middle and upper middle class kids sometimes till their damned 30th birthday. We will have a bunch of accelerated learning arrested development adolescents on our hands soon enough....and a lot of boys made to feel they were inferior to girls early on.....which is only part true.
When my now 16-17 year old daughters were at Eagle Point in Westin FL back in 95-96, this was not an issue....it never came up and folks seldom held back children.
I am not very familiar with how much this goes on in public schools but may become so soon at least temporarily...sadly.
I understand from talking to other parents going through this same experience that some school districts are examining making parents who hold back children from compulsory school entrance (kindergarten most often) show just cause for the holdback...not just for the heck of it and that some private schools are also taking a look at this.
My son has worked his butt off ...far more than a 5 year old ought to have to in order to make up for his left handedness (which teachers don't teach as a rule)and when we came home from that meeting and he was so excited to know how he had done.....waiting at the door...of course I didn't tell him everything until we decide what we are going to do but 5 year's old is mighty early to even have to get a whiff of failure in life....that will come later as we all know too well but I sure hated him being considered that simply because he has been supplanted by children 1-2 years older than him and who ought to be a grade ahead of him. ...at least in some cases. There are parents who hold back pre-K and Pre-First.
Something wrong about that to me and no, I don't want to have to deal with a 9th grader turning 16 that spring. We have a neighbor with a fall birthday first grader....she is 8 years old and will be a 9 year old second grader....she looks like a giant compared to some other kids.
I'm not sure of the solution but this is almost a crisis today and I didn't even know it.
I love home schoolers and God bless ya'll but it is not possible for us.
Any comments?
?
I haven't time to carefully read everything in your post, but I will put this out there -
My daughters attend private school and I do think there are some "disadvantages" in that one size fits all. There would be no way to educate a special needs child there, for example. Obviously homeschooling is the only way to attend to each need specifically, but of course there is also the ability of the parents to supplement all kinds of great things after school, on weekends, and during breaks.
With the A-Beka curriculum, the pre-schoolers at my children's school learn to read (via phonics) and write. They also start to learn a good deal of Spanish, and do a lot of memorization. In Kindergarten, they are writing stories in cursive. So yes, I would agree with you that there is so much more happening there then when we went to school.
*bating breath*
I agree with you about this age thing. What's an almost 20 year old doing in high school. That's just not right.
I think a lot of parents go along with this holding back thing for boys for sports reasons. Good luck.
I think advanced learning is swell, that's why we pay for it but the age gap has become very problematic for boys.
I thought all the stories I was seeing pop up here from time to time were sensational. I was wrong.
Iknow....lol....you have a bridge to sell me right?
Private secondary schools here are now 13-20K per year.
Nashville metro schools are now mostly blackboard jungle at HS level....or worse.
that is a point I forgot
red-shirting boys for sports more or less.
the worst thing we had like that in my day were scholarships or gifts...nobody held back first graders
that was a stain then
yes...I thought about Montessori.....I have even considered public for a year or two....ugh
Is Montessori really PC....the parents sorta look Birkie is you know what I mean?
thank you so much.....I will ask more about Montessori
I had friends who used to talk about children with 'Montessori Mouth' because the kids questioned everything, all the time, and usually offered an opinion as well. I'm guessing that's how the school they attended was run. Others have said that, at the Montessori school they knew, the kids were very well behaved.
I'm sure open to suggestions from folks who have dealt with this.
Thanks
I wouldn't worry about it. Boys mature more slowely than girls and they develop different skills at different times. Five year old boys are busy working on large motor skills (those that involve running, riding bikes, hitting a ball, pounding nails,etc.) There's a book by Raymond & Dorothy Moore (homeschool advocates) that explains this better than I can. In fact they don't think boys should go to school until they're 10. I truly understand your feelings however. My son learned differently and at a slower pace...he ponders, rolls things around in his head and was a poor candidate for traditional school. I finally gave up and homeschooled him because they'd put him in a special ed class for math and he couldn't even tell time past the quarter hour. Now he takes calculus.
Sometimes, especially with little boys, working their butt off is not the answer. I've raised 2 sons and they're bundles of energy, squirmy, curious, exasperating and a complete delight. Most would rather pick up a frog than read a book on frogs. If you don't feel this "pre-whatever" class is necessary, keep him home for another year and let him learn at his own pace about what interests him. How you handle this situation will determine whether or not he sees himself as a failure. Unless you've already told him, there's no reason for him to know, all you have to do is tell him "this is what we believe is best for you". If he does know then just tell him they don't know him like you do and make sure you give him a big, long list of what he's good at.
Not a problem as juveniles are not considered sexual predators and statutory rape laws are considered archaic. Welcome to the new society. It goes hand in hand with your next statement:
Early menses girls will be starting in 3rd grade at 10 .....simply incredible
Providing the school with further justification for introducing sex education at earlier grade levels.
The sex positive agenda wants everyone sexually active at every age. They oppose abstinence not because it doesn't work but because they consider it "unhealthy" as it is a denial of desires. Their same position in acting on homosexual impulses (if it feels good, do it).
They seek to end all moral judgments on sexual pairings regardless of age, sex, relation, marital relation, number, or species of partner, They've been pushing for decades. Political correctness made some dramatic leaps in institutionalizing the liberal agenda in the 1990s. It is only recently that some of the institutional changes have been challenged in the curriculum. Condoms in schools did wonders to end the argument of IF kids should be having sex, and moved the goal post to "when".
Suggestions?
Thanks All.
Well, you know you get all kinds everywhere. Every school is probably different depending on who is running it. The Montessori school my children attended was very academic. The kids there were very diverse in nationality, religion, background and economic situation and they got along great. That was really neat to see. And by the way, I just got a new pair of Birkenstocks last week. Really, we comfortable shoe wearers are not all big libs.
ping
Of course I haven't told him.
nor would I call him a failure by any stretch.
my issue is how parents are pushed the age up de facto and how those of us who didn't have to cope
I have 4 children....3-17 and one in the oven (my wife does..lol)
The school sports teams may also have a competitive advantage...
I applaud your home schooling....I could but we would be broke.
I manage affairs for several family members too so I can't quit.
My daughter held her son back at the very same age.
Three years later, he is too far ahead of his classmates, so the Christian school wants to skip him a grade.
It's a matter of your son's maturity level. ONLY you and Sweet Virginia can properly access it.
If you hold him back, change schools so that his former classmates can't tease him.
Dang Weegeee...you're depressing me..lol
;>)
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