(1)...transfer of authority from the father to the husband when a woman leaves her father's house
Heh.. I understand the ideas in the marriage vows and all that, but this idea of "authority" transfer, sounds pretty bizarre to this chick. I think if some suitor approached my dad about 'taking authority' over me, my dad would have wished him lotsaluck and sent him along, after he stopped laughing his head off. "Authority" isn't even in the vocabulary of the marriage I'm in.
(2)NO physical contact even kissing. (3)Almost no time alone.
While I can respect in principle those who wait to be very intimate... It wasn't a big barrier for me. What I would fear more about the courtship result is that you really don't learn what the person is like when they don't realize they're being evaluated. I think it sets up people spending time only on their best behavior, we're ALL on our best behavior in the beginnings of relationships, and not being alone together ever, or spending enough time alone for the pretenses to come down a little, would mean you really don't know the person... only how they act in public.
BUT... having started my own 'courtship' in the same way Jen did... online, I'll say it's a lot more intimate for the kinds of conversations that are important, than people give credit for. I might propose that those who court online in writing probably converse more and converse deeper than many couples who meet in person. So the act of courting online does make up and become part of that necessary "alone time".
Also - too many rules... that part isn't for me either. Part of it is age and part is personality. But I offer my thoughts on the subject, grist for the mill ;~D.
Agreed. See #3 in the post you quoted.
Though noble in it's intent, the courtship model seems geared to eliminating the pain in finding a mate, particularly for women. Though, the pain can be minimized, for most of us, unless our first boyfriend or girl friend is THE one (I do know people for which that was true), to eliminate the pain entirely or even as much as the courtship model intends, is just not possible.
That was a sticky point for me also. But just in the phrasing. Biblically the man has authority over the woman and children. However that does not me he's the "Lord of the castle and you are my property". It means that he has to answer to God for everything that occurs in the house. The bible lays out some pretty good guidlines on how a marriage should be run. Face it folks, if mamma aint happy, nobody's happy, and if a husband follows the biblical guidelines, momma will be happy.
(2)NO physical contact even kissing.
This is important. While men are more visually oriented, women tend to be more tactilly oriented. The purpose of courtship is to find out if two people are compatible WITHOUT falling in romantic love with each other (that part comes afterthe committment is made). Why give your heart to someone you can't spend your whole life with. Kissing, or other physical activity clouds our minds with a romantic fog
(3)Almost no time alone.P> BUT... having started my own 'courtship' in the same way Jen did... online, I'll say it's a lot more intimate for the kinds of conversations that are important, than people give credit for. I might propose that those who court online in writing probably converse more and converse deeper than many couples who meet in person. So the act of courting online does make up and become part of that necessary "alone time".
I think they mean no physical time alone. phone calls and emails are allowed as is online time (at least in how I look at it.) after all the whole purpose of the drill is to get to know the person. In fact I plan to do a lot of my courtship in an electronic format. Easier to save the letters that way too.