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My Choice (moral relativism gone mad)
Hartford Courant ^ | 2/19/2006 | Rev. Donna Shaper

Posted on 02/21/2006 5:58:36 AM PST by Neville72

My Choice

Minister's abortion two decades ago was a difficult decision that still resonates with a sense of loss - but it was a mature choice and the right one

By The Rev. Donna Schaper

I am a 58-year-old white woman. I had an abortion 19 years ago. I am not bragging, nor am I apologizing.

I am a mother of three children in their 20s, and I am an ordained Christian minister. I had one child and then twins. Having twins the second time caused me my great good fortune of having three children in diapers. While nursing the twins, I did not think I needed birth control. I was wrong.

When I got pregnant with the child I call "Alma," which means soul, I was not interested in a fourth child. I chose, with some searching, to exercise my constitutional right and ended her birth.

Why do I tell my story now? Because I fear that abortion rights may become even more restricted than they already are. I also find the very intimidation that I experience in telling my story to be the reason I must speak. Why would I be afraid? Because anti-abortion people like to punish people into their version of morality. Plus my editor warned me to expect a lot of heat. Should that fear replace free speech? I think not.

I did what was right for me, for my family, for my work, for my husband and for my three children. I happen to agree that abortion is a form of murder. I think the quarrel about when life begins is disrespectful to the fetus. I know I murdered the life within me. I could have loved that life but chose not to.

I did what I think men do all the time when they take us to war: They choose violence because, although they believe it is bad, it is still better than the alternatives. The "just war" theory assumes that human beings get caught in terrible choices all the time. This freedom is not just for men; it is for women also.

When I made my choice to end one life on behalf of other life, I was terribly troubled. I was in a double bind. I prayed and anguished. Then I made a choice. Adults make choices.

I have long thought that the drama of the abortion battle was not about unborn babies at all. Instead, it is about women and sex and about women and maturity. We are considered babies, sub-adults, in need of supervision over our sexuality. Otherwise we are dangerous. The virgin/whore debates come to mind.

When I made my choice to end life, I was behaving as an adult. I did not shrink from the responsibility of making a choice. I did not ask someone else to make it for me. And I certainly did not request my government's help in my bedroom. Instead, I behaved as an adult who is also a sexual being. Things happen sexually between people that are not always controllable. The unprotected sex I had with my husband while nursing our twins had a consequence that neither of us desired. It was a human life. That's why we named her, wept for her, wanted her but also knew we did not want her enough.

Because women are mature sexual beings who make choices, birth control and abortion are positive moral forces in history. They allow sex to be both procreational and recreational, for men and for women. That is good news, even though most of the world doesn't know it yet. In Africa, for example, too many men assume the freedom to have unprotected sex with women, giving them AIDS and heartbreak. What does our so-called pro-life government recommend? Abstinence! Such a recommendation is immoral to its core.

Obviously, protected sex is the most moral thing of all. Unprotected sex is adolescent, immature, sometimes life-threatening and always stupid. Women are mature enough to handle that. We are not babies. Sometimes, in the battle over killing our babies, I hear the echo of people wanting to kill women's maturity and sexuality. I don't like it. That's why I am breaking my silence about who I am.

I am a 58-year-old sexual, mature woman. That's who I am. I had an abortion. I am not bragging and I am not apologizing.

Abortion that is legal, safe and rare is the best policy conceivable for men and women and for mature, moral sexuality.

The Rev. Donna Schaper is senior minister of Judson Memorial Church in Manhattan.


TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: abortion; apostasy; insanity; twilightzone
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To: Pietro
When my wife was pregnant with our 2nd child I was seriously worried I couldn't love the 2nd child as much as my first. I knew I would love the child but didn't believe I could love 2 children as much as I love my first. I was so upset at this I even confined in a friend of mine with 3 kids. He actually laughed at me and then assured me I would be able to love both children. I have learned since then, that the human heart has an incredible capacity for love and love my 3 children more everyday. Even if I wanted to, I could never chose to not love my children.

This woman is truly evil.

121 posted on 02/21/2006 11:11:17 AM PST by dpa5923 (Small minds talk about people, normal minds talk about events, great minds talk about ideas.)
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To: Neville72
Obviously, protected sex is the most moral thing of all. Unprotected sex is adolescent, immature, sometimes life-threatening and always stupid.

Unprotected sex is how the species reproduces. To call that "always stupid" says more about her embrace of the culture of death than she intends.

SD

122 posted on 02/21/2006 11:13:45 AM PST by SoothingDave
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To: Neville72
Thanks for the suggestions. My friend has checked into organizations such as those you suggest but he says that his wife's sense of shame is so great that she can't bring herself to discuss it with anyone except those very few closest to her.

She needs absolution. This is why we Catholics have Sacramental confession. I'm not saying she needs to be Catholic or go to confession, but she does need to admit her sin to someone that she believes will offer her the assurance she needs that she is forgiven.

There is no shame in turning from your sin, in fact it is an occurance for rejoicing. I pray you find the right outlet to allow this to happen.

SD

123 posted on 02/21/2006 11:17:00 AM PST by SoothingDave
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To: cpforlife.org
This story reminded me of something that happened a while back.

A friend of mine was going to become a minister in the ELCA, and asked me to go to a Lenten service with him. Since I knew the pastor, I figured it would be fairly conservative.

A young woman got up at the end and started talking about fetal research. Her father has diabetes, and that type of "research" seemed promising to save his life. After all, the babies died anyway so it was ok to use them "for good". That is why she went into the field that she was in.

I was speechless. Afterwords, I wanted to ask how many children had to die for her father to live a few more years. What would be the cut off point?

That girl, like the woman in the article, were so self centered that they really don't think that anyone not connect to them is alive. Perhaps I am just odd to believe that using murdered babies for medical experiments is wrong.
124 posted on 02/21/2006 11:17:29 AM PST by redgolum ("God is dead" -- Nietzsche. "Nietzsche is dead" -- God.)
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To: Godzilla
I chose, with some searching, to exercise my constitutional right and ended her birth.

Although the constitution is a wonderful document, she fail (and failed miserably) to consult the proper document - the Bible.

There is absolutely nothing in the Constitution giving anybody the "right" to murder their child. The fact that a group of unelected judges want it to be there is irrelevant. The Bible clearly forbids killing which is exactly what this woman did.

Her cavalier attitude about this whole thing is disgusting, she seems to have given about as much thought to murdering her child as she would to ordering in a restaurant.

125 posted on 02/21/2006 11:30:19 AM PST by wagglebee ("We are ready for the greatest achievements in the history of freedom." -- President Bush, 1/20/05)
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To: Neville72
I was not interested in a fourth child.

But others might have been. If she didn't want it, why not let someone else have it?

I chose, with some searching, to exercise my constitutional right and ended her birth.

Not her birth, but her life.

I did what was right for me, for my family, for my work, for my husband and for my three children.

Her work? As a minister, God might have preferred it if she had taken a leave and allowed her 4th child to live. Oh, wait, her congregation was more important to her than her own child? They couldn't muddle on for a bit without her? Or maybe one of their group could have embraced a calling and stepped up to fill in. Hmmm.

They choose violence because, although they believe it is bad, it is still better than the alternatives. The "just war" theory assumes that human beings get caught in terrible choices all the time. This freedom is not just for men; it is for women also.

Aaah, this is what makes it a true barf piece, since she has acknolwedged that I can voice my opinion on her piece. War is a terrible, but sometimes Just War is a necessary choice. The presumption is that more lives will be saved because of the action. No one was 'saved' in hers. Only death. Only a one woman 'war' of aggression.

126 posted on 02/21/2006 11:38:06 AM PST by fortunecookie
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To: PeterPrinciple
I had an abortion. I am not bragging and I am not apologizing.

I'm just guessing here, but I think someday her Boss is going to want an apology.

127 posted on 02/21/2006 11:41:11 AM PST by fortunecookie
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To: Neville72
I did what was right for me, for my family, for my work, for my husband and for my three children.
But not right for your unborn child!!
She makes me sick!
128 posted on 02/21/2006 11:57:12 AM PST by Master of Orion
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To: hellinahandcart

It would be interesting to know the not-for-profit status of this "church". Wonder if any of these speakers are funded by the DNC?


129 posted on 02/21/2006 12:33:26 PM PST by Apple Blossom (...around here, city hall is something of a between meals snack.)
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To: 2ndMostConservativeBrdMember; afraidfortherepublic; Alas; al_c; american colleen; annalex; ...


130 posted on 02/21/2006 12:48:32 PM PST by Coleus (IMHO, The IVF procedure is immoral & kills many embryos/children and should be outlawed)
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To: RichInOC

From the site:

"Join the people of Judson in our struggle to minister with and care for thousands of homeless GLBT kids who wind up on the streets of New York because their families, churches, and denominations have refused to accept them as the God-given, beautiful children they are."

I had no idea their numbers were so many.


131 posted on 02/21/2006 1:01:16 PM PST by Old Professer (Fix the problem, not the blame!)
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To: Neville72
This is how Wikipedia describes Judson Memorial Church:
The church's mission is devoted to social outreach, and established programs designed to help those in need despite the controversial or sometimes, unpopular, nature of that help. The church, for example, established local networks to aid women who needed abortions . . .
It does not say whether this church has any actual members.
132 posted on 02/21/2006 1:06:12 PM PST by madprof98
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To: SoothingDave

Great catch, SoothingDave!


133 posted on 02/21/2006 1:13:48 PM PST by Tax-chick (My remark was stupid, and I'm a slave of the patriarchy. So?)
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To: Neville72
I did what I think men do all the time when they take us to war: They choose violence because, although they believe it is bad, it is still better than the alternatives. The "just war" theory assumes that human beings get caught in terrible choices all the time.

Evil men go to war because they believe that their greed, desires and glory is more important that the lives they destroy in war. Most men go to war to protect the people they care about from what they percieve as threats. A just war is waged first and foremost to protect the innocent and is self defense on a grand scale.

No one's life was threatened by this child. The child was the most innocent one who needed protection. The only thing threatened by this child was the parents' desires and lifestyle. This wretched creature should recognize her actions have more in common with the tyrants of the world than any man fighting a just war before she tries to draw parallels.
134 posted on 02/21/2006 1:26:11 PM PST by Flying Circus
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To: ROLF of the HILL COUNTRY

What is to say that the soul is not instilled at conception for the first embryo, then the second when it splits off?


135 posted on 02/21/2006 2:31:12 PM PST by madconservative
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To: Neville72; Coleus; wagglebee

What an arrogant bitch!! (Pardon my French.)


136 posted on 02/21/2006 2:39:00 PM PST by Irish_Thatcherite (~~~A vote for Bertie Ahern is a vote for Gerry Adams!~~~)
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To: SoothingDave
Unprotected sex is how the species reproduces. To call that "always stupid" says more about her embrace of the culture of death than she intends.

Maybe this callous narcissist should be deprived of food and water, that way she can experience the same "euphoria" that Terri Schiavo did without the horrific torture her child endured.

It also occurred to me in rereading this that she seems very certain that the baby she murdered was a girl, that indicates that the pregnancy was progressed to a point that the sex could be determined in an ultrasound. So this parasite actually saw what her baby looked like, she could no longer say it was just some "cluster" of cells.

137 posted on 02/21/2006 3:13:09 PM PST by wagglebee ("We are ready for the greatest achievements in the history of freedom." -- President Bush, 1/20/05)
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To: Irish_Thatcherite

You absolutely MUST take a look at this parasite's "church" (I see nothing to indicate a devotion to anything other than Satan and his Culture of Death) website. This wacko's next lecture is entitled "WHAT THE LEFT CAN BRING TO RELIGIOUS SOCIALISM" (as Rush Limbaugh would say, "you just can't make stuff like this up.").

http://www.judson.org/war.htm


138 posted on 02/21/2006 3:21:56 PM PST by wagglebee ("We are ready for the greatest achievements in the history of freedom." -- President Bush, 1/20/05)
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To: wagglebee

Yes, I had a look around it - a far cry from Christianity!!


139 posted on 02/21/2006 3:26:10 PM PST by Irish_Thatcherite (~~~A vote for Bertie Ahern is a vote for Gerry Adams!~~~)
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To: Neville72
"I chose, with some searching, to exercise my constitutional right and ended her birth."

What a moron!!! And she is a MINISTER??? To what exactly, the church of Secular Humanism?

140 posted on 02/21/2006 3:32:35 PM PST by Xenophon450 (Behead those who say Islam is violent)
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