Liberal, Conservative, or Southern Conservative

Anon

[verity]

Are you a Liberal, Conservative or a Southern Conservative?

Here is a little test that will help you decide.....

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.

Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.

You are carrying a Colt .45 Automatic, and you are an expert shot.

You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Liberal's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor! Or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Colt have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Conservative's Answer:

BANG!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Southern Conservative's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click..... (Reload), BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click.

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?

Son: Git-r-Dun Pop! Can I shoot the next one!

Wife: You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!

[GermanBusiness]

Also, New York and New England Republican males beat the Confederates in the Civil War. I bring that up only to show how we condescendingly accept jokes from southerners that we are supposedly wimpy. The attitude of northerners being ready to run their candidate and win in the primaries is the opposite of being wimpy as well.

The serious traitors in the northeast are the majority of minorities (blacks and Muslims) who would let Russ Feingold become President. They are the ones making us northeners look like traitors to national security. Not that I would live in the American northeast anymore. Too many liberal women.

[GermanBusiness]

[Even if you took away the black vote, Kerry still would have won New York.]

I don't live there anymore. Cleared out after 9-11. Expected an Iranian nuke shortly afterword.

If Kerry won the Upper East Side...good riddance to the place.

[Clemenza]

I grew up in New York. The REAL MEN (the ones of the type who fought in the Civil War) moved west several generations ago. Your average WHITE inhabitant of downstate is a metrosexual fop who wouldn't know a .40 from a BB gun, but knows what Astroglide is. ;-)

[wardaddy]

It's all about cultural views and one's self identity. That forms all perspective.

I had a frank talk with a very liberal Jewish lady attorney friend of mine on the phone yesterday. I thought about doing a vanity thread over it. Pondered it all night. She simply had to talk about Bush whom she loathes with every fiber of her being. I really like this woman, she valiantly defended me once and considers me her favorite good ol boy.

She thinks Bush is stupid.

She openly said she thinks Christians in power here is bad for Jews. (I refrained from telling her I felt the same about secular Jewish lefties..lol)

Abortion is her crucible.

She would support McCain...lol


Precious few folks can transcend who they are. There is no doubt my being a Southern Prod makes it more likely for me to be very conservative just as much as her being an urban Jew makes it more likely for her to be a lefty.

It's just how it is. Look at arguments here. Scratch the surface and the stereotypical rationale is more often than not lurking underneath.

after my 45 minute "discussion" with her, I felt sorta detached...kind like when I was a kid and you're in a relationship with a woman and realize it's only about the sex...there's nothing else to say and you want to get out of there

i rarely talk to liberals anymore

[stainlessbanner]

i rarely talk to liberals anymore

We all have our limits wardaddy. Stay safe, stay Southern!

[MadIvan]

My answer, ripping his heart out of his chest cavity whilst spitting into his dying eyes.

It's not just enough to kill terrorists. They should be made to suffer too. And that suffering should be so severe that it convinces the Islamic world we're too crazy and ruthless in the West to be trifled with.

Regards, Ivan

[TXBSAFH]

New Orleans



Texas

Any questions?

[wardaddy]

No doubt....acoustic Skynyrd at the Ryman next week!

[bourbon]

I have a friend from the poorly-lit recesses of Northern Alabama who is an economist. He used to work on Wall Street. He would frequently tell his buddies from NYC exactly what Wardaddy said: His upbringing imbued in him a reflexive conservatism, just as their upbringing was steeped in a reflexive liberalism.

The NYers agreed with the first part of that statement but bridled at the second part. Like many New Yorkers, he said they had gorged themselves on an dangerous and illusory cosmopolitanism--the kind which presumes that growing up in a blue state or a major city blesses you with a certain objectivity and a infallible moral stature. He said they simply refused to acknowledge the limitations of their own upbringings or the culture in which they were reared. In fact, they even denied having a culture, feeling that they had transcended it. They also denied being socialized into liberalism and instead contended that they chose it freely and completely.

Such are the delusions of liberals and cultural eltists....

[wardaddy]

that's a very cogent observation...i saw that in my nyc years and still see that even here a bit

urbane urban

[Aquamarine]

LOL, he was having a hurricane hair day.

[who knows what evil?]

...i rarely talk to liberals anymore.

Amen. Life is too short to waste the time trying to rationalize the actions and thought processes of these idiots. One of the reasons my wife and I are scraping New England out of the bottom of our shoes and are returning to Tennessee.

[wardaddy]

well, welcome back!

[who knows what evil?]

I grew up in New York. The REAL MEN (the ones of the type who fought in the Civil War) moved west several generations ago.

I grew up in upstate New York, as well. Not only is your statement accurate; it applies to New England, as well.

[who knows what evil?]

Well, welcome back!

Thank you...counting the days!

[wardaddy]

am i the only one around here who thinks it feels like the 1850s again?

different of course but entrenched polarization

there is no doubt that the left which envisions a world very different from our's is only slightly less powerful than our side

[stainlessbanner]

One of the reasons my wife and I are scraping New England out of the bottom of our shoes and are returning to Tennessee.

This ol boy I just met spent 15 years growing up NH and then moved to TX. Even he said people are rude up there (including his family). Get some downhome back in TN.

[who knows what evil?]

Even he said people are rude up there (including his family).

LOLOL!!! My wife's family is still here in NH, and quite a few of them (but not all) are class-A rude.

[Torie]

Here is the New York exit poll in 2004.

                         Bush     Kerry

White (72%) 	          50% 	  49% 	1%
African-American (13%)	   9% 	  90% 	1%
Latino (9%)	          24% 	  75% 	1%
Asian (4%)	          27% 	  72% 	*

Clemenza is correct. Bush lost every precinct in Manhattan, although he came within single digits of Kerry in two precincts. 

[WKB]

i rarely talk to liberals anymore



Save that breath and blow your coffee with it.