Posted on 02/02/2006 3:32:11 PM PST by verity
Are you a Liberal, Conservative or a Southern Conservative?
Here is a little test that will help you decide.....
The answer can be found by posing the following question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.
Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.
You are carrying a Colt .45 Automatic, and you are an expert shot.
You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?
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Liberal's Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor! Or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Colt have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.
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Conservative's Answer:
BANG!
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Southern Conservative's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click..... (Reload), BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click.
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?
Son: Git-r-Dun Pop! Can I shoot the next one!
Wife: You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!
The streetwise conservative takes out each knee first and then works his way up with from the groin.
I'd not seen the version with the southern conservative.
Now that's there's funny, I don't care who you are!
Then there is hillbilly conservative... There would be two sets of BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click..... (Reload), BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click.
One would be the hubby's, the other the wife's...
Christian Conservative Answer:
BANG!
Let us pray...
To me,six rounds (properly grouped) would be sufficient.
Amen
LOL
The Ohio Conservative's response: Bang... Bang.
One to drop em. One to send em to virgin heaven.
Up here, we aim to conserve ammunition, by aiming... waste not/ want not.
Proud to be a southerner.
Hollywood Conservative answer: (cha-chick) "Yippie ki-yay, m*****f*****!" BOOM!
Christian Conservative Answer:
BANG!
Let us pray...
Another reason the Yuppies (aka Giuliani supporters) who dominate such cities as New York, Boston, San Fran, etc. are an embarassment to this country.
This gentleman would not even get a word out before he had six hollow points in him were he to encounter yours truly. ;-)
Sniper's creed: "One shot, one kill"
USMC Machine gunner's creed: "One shot, one kill...again and again and again and again..."
Semper Fi,
Amen, American by birth, southern by the grace of God.
Probably should include the subtitle "Creative Kills." :-)
The question assumes that the man is carrying a .45, which could be the case in Spokane or other cities.
Just because I was a New Yorker, doesn't mean I haven't at least carried weapons in the mountains to protect against bears and mountain lions attacking my friend's children.
It is funny to condemn New York men as wimps, but if it hadn't been for the African American vote, New York would have been a red state in 2004 including the white neighborhoods of Manhattan.
WRONG!!!
Check the election results by precinct. There is not ONE in Manhattan that went for Bush. Greenwich Village, the Upper East Side, Chelsea, the Upper West Side all went overwhelmingly for Kerry, as did 59% OF THE ENTIRE STATE. Even if you took away the black vote, Kerry still would have won New York.
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