A Few of FR's Finest...Every Day....02-02-06...Kids Say The Darndest Things!

dutchess

[dutchess]

A Few of FR's Finest....Every Day

Free Republic made its debut in September, 1996, and the forum was added in early 1997.   Over 100,000 people have registered for posting privileges on Free Republic, and the forum is read daily by tens of thousands of concerned citizens and patriots from all around the country and the world.

A Few of FR's Finest....Every Day was introduced on June 24, 2002. It's only a small room in JimRob's house where we can get to know one another a little better; salute and support our military and our leaders; pray for those in need; and congratulate those deserving. We strive to keep our threads entertaining, fun, and pleasing to look at, and often have guest writers contribute an essay, or a profile of another FReeper.

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~ Billie, dutchess, DollyCali GodblessUSA ~

Kids Say The Darndest Things!

Most grade school teachers agree that kids say the darndest things. Here are some examples:

The future of "I give" is "I take."

The parts of speech are lungs and air.

The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosqitoes.

A census taker is man who goes from house to house increasing the population.

Define H2O and CO2. H2O is hot water and CO2 is cold water.

A virgin forest is a forest where the hand of man has never set foot.

The general direction of the Alps is straight up.

A city purifies its water supply by filtering the water then forcing it through an aviator.

Most of the houses in France are made of plaster of Paris.

The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 oppossums.

The spinal column is a long bunch of bones.

The head sits on the top and you sit on the bottom.

We do not raise silk worms in the United States, because we get our silk from rayon. He is a larger worm and gives more silk.

One of the main causes of dust is janitors.

A scout obeys all to whom obedience is due and respects all duly constipated authorities.

One by-product of raising cattle is calves.

To prevent head colds, use an agonizer to spray into the nose until it drips into the throat.

The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

The climate is hottest next to the Creator.

Oliver Cromwell had a large red nose, but under it were deeply religious feelings.

The word trousers is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the top and plural at the bottom.

Syntax is all the money collected at the church from sinners.

The blood circulates through the body by flowing down one leg and up the other.

In spring, the salmon swim upstream to spoon.

Iron was discovered because someone smelt it.

In the middle of the 18th century, all the morons moved to Utah.

A person should take a bath once in the summer, not so often in the winter

Out of the mouth of babes! Have a GREAT Thursday...feel free to share special stories (AND pictures of the little ones in your life) ...and thanks for stopping in at the FINEST!

12-28-05 ~ Hall of Fame #14

THIS WEEK'S THREADS 01-30-06 Military Monday 01-31-06 Ladies & Gentlemen...the President of the United States 02-01-06 A Letter to My Pets

Opinions by our own 'King of Ping' Every Thursday at the Finest The guy's good, folks!

[MEG33]

Oh, (((((Wolfie)))))..How could I? Many hugs to you. ;)

[dutchess]

That is so neat about your respective flag stories. How special for both of you.

[dutchess]

I meant to tell you, I LOVE the background border you used. Reminds me of bubbles and rainbows.

Thanks, I was really "drawn to it" but struggled with finding a color for the inside table...started with very bright vibrant colors which didn't cut it. Told billie, this actually started to be FUN (scarry thought after 3 years LOL!) Maybe I WILL get around to doing a Ohio tour thread :o)

[Mama_Bear]

Maybe I WILL get around to doing a Ohio tour thread :o)

I am so looking forward to it, especially since visiting Ohio last summer. I'm sure that Amy and I will both contribute some of our photos on the thread.

Just do a little at a time. Start gathering photos, either yours or some from the internet, then gather up some facts and trivia, then experiment with some borders and background colors and, the next thing you know, it will be finished. :-)

[getitright]

my two girls have always spent a good deal of time with their mamaw and papaw. when the youngest was just getting the hang of using the potty, she called out for help "finishing up." my father inlaw was closest and informed her that he would go get mamaw.

the little squirt, trying to bolster his ego no doubt, says: "oh you can do it papaw. you're a good butt wiper!"

[dutchess]

the little squirt, trying to bolster his ego no doubt, says: "oh you can do it papaw. you're a good butt wiper!"

Oh my gosh....I am laughing too hard!!! TOO CUTE!

[Temple Owl]

PeeWee is the funniest dog I have ever seen. Inky was a regal queen with royal demeaner. Peewee is the court jester who keeps us in stitches all day. Maggie calls him "The Monster" because he is always getting into trouble. But I am so glad we rescued him. He is a joy.

[Temple Owl]

PeeWee is the funniest dog I have ever seen. Inky was a regal queen with royal demeaner. Peewee is the court jester who keeps us in stitches all day. Maggie calls him "The Monster" because he is always getting into trouble. But I am so glad we rescued him. He is a joy.

[dutchess]

PeeWee is the funniest dog I have ever seen. Inky was a regal queen with royal demeaner. Peewee is the court jester who keeps us in stitches all day. Maggie calls him "The Monster" because he is always getting into trouble. But I am so glad we rescued him. He is a joy.

I AM SO HAPPY to read this. Things happen for a reason. After we lost Codee and still had Giz were not interested in another dog. Then we found Rusty (our LA GANG DOG lol) His nickname is "THE TERMINATOR" because he destroyed all of Giz's fun plush talking toys. BUT THEY LOVE EACH OTHER. Dogs rock :o)

[WVNan]

Naturally I love this thread dutchess, being into grandchildren bigtime these days. I e-mailed Lori a couple of pictures to post. Hope she notices them before the hour gets late.

I have some kid funnies coming up.

[Mama_Bear]

These just in from our Finest Nan....a couple of adorable photos of her precious little granddaughter Emma.

I sure wish these had been larger, Nan, so we could see her sweet face a little better. :-(

[Mama_Bear]

I e-mailed Lori a couple of pictures to post. Hope she notices them before the hour gets late.

Got 'em and have posted them. :-)

What a little doll she is!

[WVNan]

Me too Lori, but I don't know how to enlarge them without distortion. Oh well. Here's a child's take on grandparents.

This is priceless!

RETARDED GRANDPARENTS

(this was actually reported by a teacher).

After Christmas, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holiday away from school. One child wrote the following:

We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live in a big brick house but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Arizona. Now they live in a tin box and have rocks painted green to look like grass. They ride around on their bicycles and wear name tags because they don't know who they are anymore.

They go to a building called a wrecked center, but they must have got it fixed because it is all okay now, and do exercises there, but they don't do them very well. There is a swimming pool too, but in it, they all jump up and down with hats on.

At their gate, there is a doll house with a little old man sitting in it. He watches all day so nobody can escape. Sometimes they sneak out.

They go cruising in their golf carts.

Nobody there cooks, they just eat out. And, they eat the same thing every night: Early Birds.

Some of the people can't get out past the man in the doll house. The ones who do get out, bring food back to the wrecked center and call it pot luck.

My Grandma says that Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardment and says I should work hard so I can be retarded someday too When I earn my retardment, I want to be the man in the doll house, Then I will let people out so they can visit their grandchildren.

[Mama_Bear]

Thanks, Nan. That is funny!!! Except for the last line, which tugged at my heart. :-(

[Victoria Delsoul]

Evening all.

I found another “Kid's talk about love”...

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
- Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
- Kirsten, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER!!! by then.
- Camille, age 10

No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.
Freddie, age 6

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
- Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

Both don't want any more kids.
- Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
-Lynnette, age 8

On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
-Martin, age 10

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?

I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
- Craig, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

When they're rich.
-Pam, age 7

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
- Curt, age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
- Howard, age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
- Anita, age 9

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?

There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
-Kevin, age 8

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck.
-Ricky, age 10

[Victoria Delsoul]

"I don't look like my mother OR my father. I look like the mailman!"

Man! LOL.

[Darksheare]

"HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
- Derrick, age 8"


LOL.
That is sorta accurate..

[GodBlessUSA]

LOL Victoria these are too good. Definitely smart kids. :)

[Victoria Delsoul]

LOL!!

[Victoria Delsoul]

Yes, they are. Glad you liked it.