A Few of FR's Finest...Every Day....02-02-06...Kids Say The Darndest Things!

dutchess

[dutchess]

A Few of FR's Finest....Every Day

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~ Billie, dutchess, DollyCali GodblessUSA ~

Kids Say The Darndest Things!

Most grade school teachers agree that kids say the darndest things. Here are some examples:

The future of "I give" is "I take."

The parts of speech are lungs and air.

The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosqitoes.

A census taker is man who goes from house to house increasing the population.

Define H2O and CO2. H2O is hot water and CO2 is cold water.

A virgin forest is a forest where the hand of man has never set foot.

The general direction of the Alps is straight up.

A city purifies its water supply by filtering the water then forcing it through an aviator.

Most of the houses in France are made of plaster of Paris.

The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 oppossums.

The spinal column is a long bunch of bones.

The head sits on the top and you sit on the bottom.

We do not raise silk worms in the United States, because we get our silk from rayon. He is a larger worm and gives more silk.

One of the main causes of dust is janitors.

A scout obeys all to whom obedience is due and respects all duly constipated authorities.

One by-product of raising cattle is calves.

To prevent head colds, use an agonizer to spray into the nose until it drips into the throat.

The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

The climate is hottest next to the Creator.

Oliver Cromwell had a large red nose, but under it were deeply religious feelings.

The word trousers is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the top and plural at the bottom.

Syntax is all the money collected at the church from sinners.

The blood circulates through the body by flowing down one leg and up the other.

In spring, the salmon swim upstream to spoon.

Iron was discovered because someone smelt it.

In the middle of the 18th century, all the morons moved to Utah.

A person should take a bath once in the summer, not so often in the winter

Out of the mouth of babes! Have a GREAT Thursday...feel free to share special stories (AND pictures of the little ones in your life) ...and thanks for stopping in at the FINEST!

12-28-05 ~ Hall of Fame #14

THIS WEEK'S THREADS 01-30-06 Military Monday 01-31-06 Ladies & Gentlemen...the President of the United States 02-01-06 A Letter to My Pets

Opinions by our own 'King of Ping' Every Thursday at the Finest The guy's good, folks!

[Majie Purple]

Thank you too! For sharing?starting this wondefully sweet thread!

[dutchess]

It sounds like Tanya is equally lucky to have you. My mom's sister had two boys and always wanted a daughter (plus I was the only girl on their side of the family) so I was essentially blessed with "two mothers" and a doting grandmother :o)

[Mama_Bear]

It sounds like Tanya is equally lucky to have you.

Well, we sure feel lucky to have her (and her mom) in our family. Tanya is 16, but is refreshingly unsophisticated, if you know what I mean. She enjoys being a kid and I think that is a good thing. Most kids today are growing way too fast.

Sounds like you were blessed with lots of love in your life. Can't have too many doting mother/grandmother types in your family, I say. :-)

[ST.LOUIE1]

Well, looky at you, ((((((((((dutchess))))))))))

Pretty in pink, blue, gold, etc. I love your table! It's a *happy* table. : )

I shouldn't tell this on myself, but here goes.....

When I was kid of about eight, a few buds and I played hooky one day. My 'written' excuse to the teacher was as follows:
Tony wasn't in class yesterday because he had romantic fever. He was at the doctor's for four hours. He's well today. Thank you. Tony's mother.

Miss Hahn, my teacher never questioned me about it and never told my mom. Like this thread, I suppose she had her own list of goofy things kids say. : )

And, yes, I did learn "rheumatic' is sooooo very different than 'romantic' fever.

[dutchess]

Pretty in pink, blue, gold, etc. I love your table! It's a *happy* table. : )

Thanks...that's quite a compliment coming from you :o)

Tony wasn't in class yesterday because he had romantic fever.

LOL...I can just picture that!!! You just reminded me of when I did my first confession in preparation for first communion. I was like in 3rd grade and "scared to death" Our whole caticism class was lined up, I was one of the first waiting for the "adults" to finish up. I overheard one lady say "I sinned by committing adultry". Didn't know what it meant but it sounded less threatening then lying etc. SO that's what I said. All I heard was dead silence then a little chuckle and was told to say five hail mary's. :o)

(((((wolfie))))))

[MEG33]

Fun thread, duchess..Love your presentation!

[ST.LOUIE1]

LOL...I can just picture that!!!
.... overheard one lady say "I sinned by committing adultry". Didn't know what it meant but it sounded less threatening then lying etc. SO that's what I said.
All I heard was dead silence then a little chuckle and was told to say five hail mary's. :o)

LOL!!! Yours is worse than mine. : )

Pretty in pink, blue, gold, etc. I love your table! It's a *happy* table. : )

Thanks...that's quite a compliment coming from you :o)

Why, thank you, sweetheart, but you must know I think all of your threads/tables are top notch.....like *you*. : )

[MozartLover]

Les Mis..............LOL....that goes back a few years.:)

Thanks for the prayers for my boycild and I will pass along the message.

He knows that FReepers are great supporters of our military & often says things like "tell your FReepers FRiends about this" or "Your Freeper FRiends should get a kick out of this."

Wish I could get him to sign on here but I guess he's pretty busy.;^)

MB, that is way cool about your flag! Do you fly yours or have it on display? I'm mulling...........

[ST.LOUIE1]

Hi, (((((Meggsie)))))

Slipped in here without givin' wolfie a hug, did ya? Bad girl. : (

: )

[Diver Dave]

Just realized there was an underlying message in my post --

A guy actually reading instructions.

Next thing you know, I'll ask for directions. Nah.

[Mama_Bear]

MB, that is way cool about your flag! Do you fly yours or have it on display? I'm mulling...........

No, we will never fly it. In fact, I think my husband is currently working on a shadow box frame to hold the flag and the certificate. We will hang it on the wall either at our business or here at home.

[Mama_Bear]

A guy actually reading instructions.

Hmmmmmmm.......I don't have any guys in my family that do that - except as a last resort. LOL.

[ST.LOUIE1]

Hi, (((((((fuzzy))))))

Hi, Diver!

Bye, you two, gotta leave for now. : )

[MozartLover]

That's what I'm thinking (display.)

[Mama_Bear]

Hi, (((((((fuzzy)))))) Hi, Diver!Mbr>
Bye, you two, gotta leave for now. : )

LOL!! Hi and bye, wolfie. Wow, that was a quick dash in and out. I could feel your breeze, you left so fast. LOL.

[dutchess]

Hi Meg. And thanks for posting the perfect picture to go with this thread!

[Mama_Bear]

That's what I'm thinking (display.)

Yes, it's too special and irreplaceable to chance anything happening to it. Also, any sunlight on it will eventually fade the colors. :-)

[dutchess]

LOL!!! Yours is worse than mine. : )

LOL...I don't remember when or how I realized what I said. I remember mom was dying of curiosity about what I "confessed" (we had many talks leading up to the first confession about "sins" etc.) Poor lady..."be careful what you ask for". She didn't explain it then but I remember an incredulous look... (although she was also quite the social party gal and probably had a blast telling her friends! :o) )

[Mama_Bear]

I meant to tell you, I LOVE the background border you used. Reminds me of bubbles and rainbows. So pretty and kid-like. It's perfect for your theme today. :-)

[dutchess]

Next thing you know, I'll ask for directions. Nah.

Okay...question...do guys use GPS????