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A Few of FR's Finest...Every Day....02-02-06...Kids Say The Darndest Things!
dutchess

Posted on 02/01/2006 8:18:20 PM PST by dutchess



A Few of FR's Finest....Every Day
Free Republic made its debut in September, 1996, and the forum was added in early 1997.   Over 100,000 people have registered for posting privileges on Free Republic, and the forum is read daily by tens of thousands of concerned citizens and patriots from all around the country and the world.
A Few of FR's Finest....Every Day was introduced on June 24, 2002. It's only a small room in JimRob's house where we can get to know one another a little better; salute and support our military and our leaders; pray for those in need; and congratulate those deserving. We strive to keep our threads entertaining, fun, and pleasing to look at, and often have guest writers contribute an essay, or a profile of another FReeper.
On Mondays please visit us to see photos of A FEW OF FR'S VETERANS AND ACTIVE MILITARY
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We're having fun and hope you are!

~ Billie, dutchess, DollyCali GodblessUSA ~








Kids Say The Darndest Things!


Most grade school teachers agree that kids say the darndest things. Here are some examples:
The future of "I give" is "I take."
The parts of speech are lungs and air.
The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosqitoes.
A census taker is man who goes from house to house increasing the population.
Define H2O and CO2. H2O is hot water and CO2 is cold water.
A virgin forest is a forest where the hand of man has never set foot.
The general direction of the Alps is straight up.
A city purifies its water supply by filtering the water then forcing it through an aviator.
Most of the houses in France are made of plaster of Paris.



The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 oppossums.
The spinal column is a long bunch of bones.
The head sits on the top and you sit on the bottom.
We do not raise silk worms in the United States, because we get our silk from rayon. He is a larger worm and gives more silk.
One of the main causes of dust is janitors.
A scout obeys all to whom obedience is due and respects all duly constipated authorities.
One by-product of raising cattle is calves.
To prevent head colds, use an agonizer to spray into the nose until it drips into the throat.
The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.



The climate is hottest next to the Creator.
Oliver Cromwell had a large red nose, but under it were deeply religious feelings.
The word trousers is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the top and plural at the bottom.
Syntax is all the money collected at the church from sinners.
The blood circulates through the body by flowing down one leg and up the other.
In spring, the salmon swim upstream to spoon.
Iron was discovered because someone smelt it.
In the middle of the 18th century, all the morons moved to Utah.
A person should take a bath once in the summer, not so often in the winter




Out of the mouth of babes! Have a GREAT Thursday...feel free to share special stories (AND pictures of the little ones in your life) ...and thanks for stopping in at the FINEST!






12-28-05 ~ Hall of Fame #14

THIS WEEK'S THREADS

01-30-06 Military Monday

01-31-06 Ladies & Gentlemen...the President of the United States

02-01-06 A Letter to My Pets

Opinions by our own 'King of Ping'
Every Thursday at the Finest
The guy's good, folks!


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Miscellaneous; News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: freepers; fun; military; patriotic; surprises; veteranss
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To: Mama_Bear

I sent one more pic. I'm going to have to get son to tutor me on working my scanner.


101 posted on 02/02/2006 6:47:16 PM PST by WVNan
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To: Victoria Delsoul

In my family, the way to tell is by who is blaming the kids on who.
"They're all YOUR fault! YOU gave them that chemistry kit!"
"They take after YOUR family, look at them go! [loud crash] See? Born demolitionists."


102 posted on 02/02/2006 6:48:54 PM PST by Darksheare (Aim low! They got knees!)
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To: Mama_Bear

I had the same feeling about that last line.


103 posted on 02/02/2006 6:49:17 PM PST by WVNan
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To: dutchess; All
Dutchess- I love your thread! It is really cute! Yes~ God bless our military.


104 posted on 02/02/2006 6:49:58 PM PST by Diva Betsy Ross (Embrace peace- Hug an American soldier- the real peace keepers.)
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To: Darksheare

Definitely hilarious.


105 posted on 02/02/2006 6:50:50 PM PST by Victoria Delsoul
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To: Victoria Delsoul

My family is kinda... odd.


106 posted on 02/02/2006 6:51:38 PM PST by Darksheare (Aim low! They got knees!)
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To: Darksheare

As long as they have sense of humor no one is odd.


107 posted on 02/02/2006 6:56:46 PM PST by Victoria Delsoul
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To: Victoria Delsoul

Our parents commissioned my brother and myself to demolish a 4 ton boulder.
Even got us sledge hammers and star bit chisels for it.


108 posted on 02/02/2006 6:58:22 PM PST by Darksheare (Aim low! They got knees!)
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To: Darksheare

Did you guys demolish it?


109 posted on 02/02/2006 7:00:26 PM PST by Victoria Delsoul
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To: Victoria Delsoul

We tried everything.
We even set it on fire.
(It had sulfur!)
I think we got about half a foot thickness off of it, but never did make a significant dent in it.


110 posted on 02/02/2006 7:01:36 PM PST by Darksheare (Aim low! They got knees!)
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To: All; WVNan
I enlarged it a bit, but the resolution isn't very good. It just kept getting fuzzier and fuzzier. The Christmas photo isn't able to be enlarged at all because it is distorted even at it's small size.

I know he is probably too busy (like my husband), but maybe you could just tell your son which ones you want to post and he could e-mail them to me. I am sure he has a digital file of the Christmas photo. Isn't he shooting everything digital?


111 posted on 02/02/2006 7:02:25 PM PST by Mama_Bear (My heroes wear camouflage!)
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To: Darksheare

ROTFLOL!


112 posted on 02/02/2006 7:02:52 PM PST by Victoria Delsoul
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To: Victoria Delsoul

We got into major trouble for setting the rock on fire though.


113 posted on 02/02/2006 7:03:30 PM PST by Darksheare (Aim low! They got knees!)
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To: Darksheare

It didn't do any harm, did it?


114 posted on 02/02/2006 7:05:08 PM PST by Victoria Delsoul
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To: Victoria Delsoul

Those are funny, Victoria! Good evening to you. :-)


115 posted on 02/02/2006 7:06:28 PM PST by Mama_Bear (My heroes wear camouflage!)
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To: Victoria Delsoul
Hi Victoria. Hope you are well. This is my all-time favorite kid story:

Subject: a six year old explains childbirth

A grammar school teacher from Miami, remembers this Oscar-worthy birth tableau from one of her students...

I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second-grade classroom a few years back.

When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell, so I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and experience a little public speaking. And it gives me a break and some guaranteed entertainment.

Usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it to school and talk about it, they're welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater. She holds up a snapshot of an infant. "This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.

First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord."

She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.

"Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, "Oh,oh,oh!'" Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. "She walked around the house for, like anhour, 'Oh, oh, oh!'"

Now the kid's doing this hysterical duck walk, holding her back and groaning. "My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this." Erica lies down with her back against the wall

"And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!"

This kid has her legs spread and with her little hands are miming water flowing away. It was too much!

"Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push, and breathe, breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten." Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff they all said was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot of stuff inside there."

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. Now I bring my camcorder to show and tell day, just in case another Erica comes along.

Life is meant to be lived . . . enjoy !!

116 posted on 02/02/2006 7:06:40 PM PST by WVNan
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To: Victoria Delsoul

No, the boulder was unconcerned with our pathetic efforts to harm it.
Our parents were reconsidering the wisdom of having children, let alone turning us loose on the boulder.
We had to wash the black smoke gunk off the side of the house though.
(The boulder was about five foot from the house..)


117 posted on 02/02/2006 7:07:41 PM PST by Darksheare (Aim low! They got knees!)
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To: Darksheare

Well, you guys were creative. LOL.


118 posted on 02/02/2006 7:08:49 PM PST by Victoria Delsoul
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To: Mama_Bear

That's pretty good MB. Yes, son has the Christmas pics I'm sure. The others are ones that I took and only have hard copies.


119 posted on 02/02/2006 7:08:57 PM PST by WVNan
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To: All

Heading for bed...love you all and glad you stopped in here today. Sleep tight!


120 posted on 02/02/2006 7:09:21 PM PST by dutchess
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