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A Few of FR's Finest....Every Day...2-1-06...A letter to My Pets
DollyCali
| February 1, 2006
| dollycali;
Posted on 02/01/2006 4:15:54 AM PST by DollyCali
A Few of FR's Finest....Every Day
Free Republic made its debut in September, 1996, and the forum was added in early 1997. Over 100,000 people have registered for posting privileges on Free Republic, and the forum is read daily by tens of thousands of concerned citizens and patriots from all around the country and the world.
A Few of FR's Finest....Every Day was introduced on June 24, 2002. It's only a small room in JimRob's house where we can get to know one another a little better; salute and support our military and our leaders; pray for those in need; and congratulate those deserving. We strive to keep our threads entertaining, fun, and pleasing to look at, and often have guest writers contribute an essay, or a profile of another FReeper.
On Mondays please visit us to see photos of A FEW OF FR'S VETERANS AND ACTIVE MILITARY
If you have a suggestion, or an idea, or if there's a FReeper you would like to see featured, please drop one of us a note in FR mail.
We're having fun and hope you are!
~ Billie, Dutchess, DollyCali, Mama_Bear, GodBlessUSA ~
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Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate of food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
The other animals in the house are ALSO family. We do not eat, torture, kill or hurt them. This also goes for little people, whom we call children
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
When I sit at the computer that is NOT your clue to jump in front of the monitor, walk or sit on keyboard or decide to begin licking my face. I know I spend too much time there but give me at least the first half hour.
It is not a good idea to roll in dead anything or some other animals poopie. If & when you do, a bath will follow. NOT fun for either of us. Hope you are a fast learner on this one.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!
To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:
Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur";niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly. Dogs and cats are sometimes better than kids .they eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, and don't need a gazillion dollars for college - and if they get pregnant, you can sell the children.
With thanks from your loving owner
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TOPICS: News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: cats; dogs; graphics; humor; kids; pets
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
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To: lunarbicep
That is an adorable story.
Thanks for sharing.:)
To: GodBlessUSA
22
posted on
02/01/2006 5:31:10 AM PST
by
MEG33
(GOD BLESS OUR ARMED FORCES)
To: GodBlessUSA
To: MEG33
A neighbor's cat practically lives outside on our veranda. She's the prettiest cat and at times very cuddly, but then other days, she won't even give me the time of day. Moody and tempermental, something most dogs are not.
24
posted on
02/01/2006 5:32:44 AM PST
by
Peach
To: Peach; All
Dog vs Cat Diaries
EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY
Day number 180
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
Day number 181
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
Day number 182
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 pm OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
1:30 pm - ooooooo. bath. bummer.
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE
EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY
DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture...Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors,I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this On their bed.
DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was... Not working according to plan.
DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still LODGED between my teeth.
DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event, however, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and he speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my activities. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...
-Author Unknown
25
posted on
02/01/2006 5:43:16 AM PST
by
MEG33
(GOD BLESS OUR ARMED FORCES)
To: MEG33
I've never seen that one before; it's PRICELESS! And true. LOLOL
26
posted on
02/01/2006 5:45:55 AM PST
by
Peach
To: DollyCali
Thanks for the ping DC. A great thread & outstanding photos!
27
posted on
02/01/2006 5:50:08 AM PST
by
Gucho
To: Mrs.Nooseman
28
posted on
02/01/2006 5:53:06 AM PST
by
GodBlessUSA
(US Troops, Past, Present and Future, God Bless You and Thank You! Prayers said for our Heroes!)
To: Gucho
Good morning, Gucho. These are always fun threads.
29
posted on
02/01/2006 5:55:15 AM PST
by
MEG33
(GOD BLESS OUR ARMED FORCES)
To: The Mayor
My life today I yield, O Lord, to Thee, A channel for Thy love and grace to be; Use me just as Thou wilt, I humbly pray, To point some soul unto the Living Way. Christiansen
"Witnessing isn't just a job to be done, it's a life to be lived."
Thank you, Mayor.
30
posted on
02/01/2006 6:00:24 AM PST
by
MEG33
(GOD BLESS OUR ARMED FORCES)
To: MEG33
Funny!
Morning, ((((Meggsie)))
: )
To: The Mayor
To: GodBlessUSA
I loved the President's speech
33
posted on
02/01/2006 6:06:07 AM PST
by
MEG33
(GOD BLESS OUR ARMED FORCES)
To: ST.LOUIE1
Morning ((((((Wolfie)))))))
;)
34
posted on
02/01/2006 6:07:34 AM PST
by
MEG33
(GOD BLESS OUR ARMED FORCES)
To: MEG33
Hi Meg :) Yes, our President was absolutely Brilliant. :)
These graphics are so cute and such fun. :)
35
posted on
02/01/2006 6:09:48 AM PST
by
GodBlessUSA
(US Troops, Past, Present and Future, God Bless You and Thank You! Prayers said for our Heroes!)
To: ST.LOUIE1
Good Morning Louie!
I haven't seen you in a while. I hope you are doing well :)
36
posted on
02/01/2006 6:11:09 AM PST
by
GodBlessUSA
(US Troops, Past, Present and Future, God Bless You and Thank You! Prayers said for our Heroes!)
To: MEG33
Good morning Meg. Great fun photos.
37
posted on
02/01/2006 6:19:24 AM PST
by
Gucho
To: GodBlessUSA
Doin' just fine, GeeBee, thank you.
BTW, your thread was excellent. I didn't post but did check it out. You're a very quick study. : )
To: ST.LOUIE1
Thanks so much :)
I have an excellent teacher. Billie can put with me, I know I must drive her crazy, she is an Angel. LOL
39
posted on
02/01/2006 6:21:53 AM PST
by
GodBlessUSA
(US Troops, Past, Present and Future, God Bless You and Thank You! Prayers said for our Heroes!)
To: GodBlessUSA
I think we have had 7 toys pulled off the ends of these that hook over the door by our kittens ..and the scratching post also was separated from the base..They now have a climbing , snoozing tower by a big window.
40
posted on
02/01/2006 6:23:57 AM PST
by
MEG33
(GOD BLESS OUR ARMED FORCES)
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