Posted on 01/14/2006 12:02:09 PM PST by wagglebee
WHEN A MILITARY chaplain appeared on ABC News last week talking about how pornography is becoming a problem for troops overseas, I listened. When the chaplain said real women at home couldnt measure up to the impossible pictures, I thought of this woman I had seen years ago in a bookstore on base in Japan.
I shouldnt remember her. The woman was not one of those people you even notice, much less remember. She had no distinct hair color, no charm of face. She reminded me of wide egg noodles and cream of mushroom soup and Minute Rice.
But I noticed her when her sailor husband handed her a stack of magazines maybe 5 inches thick. Penthouse. Playboy. Hustler. Worse. He must have picked up every single porn mag the bookstore offered.
While I watched and the people behind me watched, the wife took the stack from him. She held it in hands that had probably stroked his face, patted his back, clutched his thighs. She handed the stack to a clerk. Then, in front of a line of 10 people, with her husband waiting impatiently by the door, she slowly signed her name to the bottom of her personal check. She did it as if pornography were something you brought home weekly, like milk or eggs or Minute Rice.
Until that moment, Id always thought pornography was no big deal, a boys-will-be-boys kind of thing. Seeing her in person shook me her pasty face, her quiet resignation.
So I paid attention to the news segment. It talked about these 11,000 sexual purity kits that are going to military members in Iraq. Following the popular Every Mans Battle series from New Life Ministries, the kits promote Bible-based abstinence: no pornography, adultery, nonmarital sex or masturbation.
I heard that and kind of winced. It seemed too old fashioned a solution for a time when pornography is as available as a paper-wrapped burger. It made me think of some of those goofy venereal disease movies from World War II.
It also made me think of two couples I know who have divorced over pornography addiction, and the stories I read every week about how its becoming more of a problem for every age group.
But a religious text? I just didnt know. I picked up a copy of one of the books at a Christian bookstore. At first I was uncomfortable reading it. Im Christian. I practice my faith, but this book was written by men who are far more zealous in their faith than I am in mine.
The authors write about sexual purity and a mans relationship to God. Their recommendations seem a little extreme suggesting that men avoid not only pornography but also magazine advertisements and movies with a rating over PG-13.
The more I read, the more I understood why the chaplains had ordered the book. The second half of the book is about protecting the marriage. It talks about how to handle yourself if you become attracted to someone else. It offers a behavior strategy should someone become attracted to you.
The authors dont say if; they say when. They dont write as though men are idiots or slaves of passion. They remind their male readers to honor and cherish the women they married, to remember what their wives gave up to be married to them.
I am a little leery when it comes to imposing a specific faiths teachings on military men. Still, I cant stop thinking about that woman in the bookstore. I cant stop thinking about her husband. This sexual purity kit is a tool that chaplains are turning to to help families like that one. It isnt the only tool against pornography, but it certainly may be the most powerful one yet.
*laughing*
You're too much. *shakes head*
And you believe that without porn she would have been an honorably and faithful wife? Incredibly naive.
Lo siento.
If we're enjoying it together and it enhances our enjoyment, no, I don't.
Bad analogy - both are food products. Unless you're in the habit of marinading your spouse.
Within the bonds of marriage, there are two people as God made them - anything ancillary to what God has already given you is unnecessary. And if you're relying on those things just to have a good time, then you've got serious problems.
What happens when the "odd" thing doesn't work anymore? Or when the "spice" is no longer "spicy"? How much further does it go?
See, that's the real danger with porography. It's never stationary - it's always progressing to the next level once you become jaded to the current level. Like with any addiction, it only increases, never decreases.
In fact, porography is a worse addiction because it's all mental. With cigarettes, you can physically throw them away - with porn it's burned into your mind, always ready to tempt you to go deeper. Sin is never stagnant, it always seeks a greater infection.
Ahora mismo, no comprendo nada.
You're big on assumptions.
BTW, in a few weeks check out my new DUmmie FUnnies Audio Podcast. It will, of course, be about the DUmmies but ALSO much more...including Sexual Purity Kits. (Remember, it is a COMEDY show.)
ROFLMAO, but a trifle sadly, as the truth will probably become evident.
This writer is completely out of date. The most graphic magazine available on any military base world wide is Maxim. Possessing or distributing pornography in any form is against military rules and is punished. Downloading it onto computers is illegal, particularly military ones is very illegal. Since I doubt most soldiers in Iraq have their own computers and connections it may not be as prevalent as he is suggesting. No doubt it is there, but I don't think it is as serious as this article makes out.
~snicker~ Will do.
Even though I can't agree on the whole "porn-is-harmless" idea.
And Melanie Griffith actually looked decent before she started playing with the plastic. :-/
You're behind the times. I've changed my stage name to Rhinoceros to avoid legal entanglements.
Me? No... But the other way around... Well, put it this way, chocolate syrup and chest hair don't mix.
But I just realized the problem with this discussion. Because it's about porn, we're discussion marriage as if sex is the only component of it.
But my wife isn't just my lover. She's my best friend -- check that -- she's my best buddy. There are a lot of things we enjoy outside of sex, from offbeat movies to sushi to science fiction to just driving down road we've never been on before to see what's there.
There's nothing overly sexual about any of that... But you know what? Being good friends enhances the appeal, which enhances the sex. Having common interests enhances the appeal, which enhances the sex. Heck, the first thing my wife ever noticed about me was she overheard me talking about property rights -- and that turned her on, before she ever saw me.
And porn? Up thread, I mentioned that we each brought a porn collection into the marriage. That's not just a sexual enhancement. That's a common interest. That's a friendship enhancement. The better the friendship, the better the sex.
BTW, as a side note, I've noticed the (natural) emphasis on porn as a visual device. While visual porn does have a lot of appeal, for me, it's pornographic literature that really turns me on, more than pictures or videos do.
You're behind the times. I've changed my stage name to Rhinoceros to avoid legal entanglement
You did? In that case, I withdraw the copyright infringement suit.
I think she should take her husband's HOUSE and spring for someone who doesn't play with himself on the Internet.
And just what does THIS STUD look like now???
My wife is no longer the fox I married, and I am no longer the Playgirl Centerfold. But we are realists- people grow up, old, and out. That's what the whole DEAL is about.
Grrrr.
One more reason to make sure your spouse is also your friend.
A friend of my wife (and now of me), gave my wife some advice, when she was deciding whether to marry me. "Is he someone you would like to hang out with, if he was a woman? If he is, marry him. If he isn't, don't."
That's good advice that's too rarely taken.
You can't tell someone who speaks from experience that he is delusional. That's just a non-starter.
my question is: why can't you become excited looking at pictures of your own spouse?
Because she refuses to pose for me. Perhaps you can recommend a stratagem?
Why is it that your spouse is not enough to get you excited?
The flaw in your argument is that, for some people, their spouse just isn't enough. It's all well and good to say, "then just make do" or "that means there's something wrong with you", but putting aside the porn will not cure that. At least with the porn, they share some intimacy. Do you really think that by closing that off, they're going to improve their relationship?
Personally, I have rather the opposite problem: my spouse's main objection to porn is that I already pester her too much without the additional stimulation.
I have a little too much to drink now and then, but I would never hold up that behavior as helathy or virtuous.
One or two drinks per day really is optimal for health. All things in moderation.
If you're not careful, you'll start out watching two people making love on a picnic blanket out in a meadow, and a few months later you'll be satisfied by nothing less than a six-way orgy involving major appliances, both electric and gas-powered, barn animals, and a bull-whip.
Now you're delusional. Oh, er, wait...nevermind.
Ah, you're right. I've been holding it all inside. But now I'll let it out: I LOATHE YOU AND ALL THE OTHER LIBERTARIAN TYPES ON THIS FORUM WHO STUPIDLY EQUATE FREEDOM WITH THE PURSUIT OF THEIR FAVORITE VICES! Now, I feel much better. So you can go inflict your psychobabble on somebody else.
Don't hold back. Tell us what you REALLY think.
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