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Morford: Does 'Narnia' Actually Suck?
San Francisco Chronicle ^ | January 11, 2006 | Mark Morford (stay away from her wardrobe)

Posted on 01/11/2006 8:36:00 AM PST by presidio9

I was all wrong about "Narnia."

Which is to say, about six months ago in this space I was hell-bent on the white-hot idea that Hollywood and the Christian-right group/billionaire that helped produce the tepid and saccharine flick would absolutely ruin "The Chronicles of Narnia" books, ruin the deep magic and the astounding sense of wonder these books held for millions of children (including this writer) by regurgitating them as a slick, dumbed-down, poorly acted smarm-fest full of ham-fisted Jesus allusions and excessive special effects, all from the director who brought you, ahem, "Shrek 2."

Things did not, shall we say, look good.

Truly, I was of the mind that the "Narnia" books, to my dreamy, rose-colored memory, were these insanely rich and ingenious tales, dense and deeply involved anecdotes of children exploring a phenomenally magical world that was so utterly not of this grungy, terrestrial plane it might as well have been Pluto. Like many, my time-addled vision elevated the books to the status of utter genius, largely due to the feeling of unchecked awe I can still recall them providing. And I was absolutely sure Hollywood would rape that memory for all the pseudo-Christian bullcrap and Burger King tie-ins it possibly could.

I was wrong. Sort of. Hollywood didn't actually ruin "Narnia." Hollywood didn't cheapen it all that much, or reduce it down or remove much of the original majesty by injecting it with too much CGI and not enough heart. Rather, Hollywood has done something even more depressing: It's revealed "The Chronicles of Narnia" books to be what they actually are: a rather lean slice of delightfully wrought but fairly simpleminded, largely hobbled fantasy for the imagination-deprived single-digit set.

I have now seen the movie. -snip-

(Excerpt) Read more at sfgate.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society; News/Current Events; Politics/Elections
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To: presidio9
We all know what Morford stands for and he doesn't stand for marriage, family, standard values and common sense. He can not give an objective opinion on "The Chronicles of Narnia" so he uses his review to insult the people he has no tolerance for.
21 posted on 01/11/2006 8:52:55 AM PST by oyez (Appeasement is death!)
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To: presidio9

No, Narnia doesn't suck.

But the fudge packing, bare backing, bug chasing Ms. Morford does.


22 posted on 01/11/2006 8:53:13 AM PST by hang 'em (John McCain is an Enemy of the Constitution and the Republic.)
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To: dangus

Well, he probably went to one of those progressive schools that Eustace went to.


23 posted on 01/11/2006 8:53:36 AM PST by MeanWestTexan (Many at FR would respond to Christ "Darn right, I'll cast the first stone!")
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To: CJ Wolf

Deinitely one of the better SNL routines of late...


24 posted on 01/11/2006 8:54:00 AM PST by dangus
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To: ArrogantBustard

Yep.

Something about "the world" hating the Holy Spirit.


25 posted on 01/11/2006 8:54:37 AM PST by MeanWestTexan (Many at FR would respond to Christ "Darn right, I'll cast the first stone!")
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To: MadIvan

He probably didn't like it because it had no homosexual cowboys.


26 posted on 01/11/2006 8:55:21 AM PST by Blood of Tyrants (G-d is not a Republican. But Satan is definitely a Democrat.)
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To: silverleaf
"I admit to a few tears when Aslan was being tortured enroute to his crucifixion...err, I mean, death. Theater was filled, too."

My experience was similar. And I am recommending this movie to everyone! Went to a 16 screen multi-plex. Narnia was showing in two of the theaters...and each one was packed and sold out...the other 14 were not.

27 posted on 01/11/2006 8:55:22 AM PST by all4one (The Islamic Homicide Bombers are really helping to spread the message about the real nature of Islam)
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To: presidio9

"a rather lean slice of delightfully wrought but fairly simpleminded, largely hobbled fantasy for the imagination-deprived single-digit set."

Nice, very nice.

Can't argue on substance, so she attacks witrh insult.


28 posted on 01/11/2006 8:55:51 AM PST by Blueflag (Res ipsa loquitor)
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To: presidio9

I actually didn't like the movie that much. Not sure what it was, but the characters just felt flat. Except for the White Queen having fits of PMS, she seemed as scarey as kindergarden teacher.

When you compare books that I loved when I was younger(TLTWATW and LOTRs) I very much liked the LOTRs movies and felt more of a 'meh' towards Narnia.


29 posted on 01/11/2006 8:56:15 AM PST by SengirV
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To: dangus

Estauce's parents were vegans teetollers who didn't smoke, so the smiliarity ends there. However, I'm sure that Morford does wear a special kind of underwear, but I don't want to know about it.


30 posted on 01/11/2006 8:56:58 AM PST by presidio9 (Si hoc legere scis nimium eruditionis habes.)
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To: hang 'em

In more than one way.


31 posted on 01/11/2006 8:58:20 AM PST by 05 Mustang GT Rocks
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To: presidio9

"Chronicles of Narnia" has made tons of $$$.
It has stayed at, or near the top, of the box office for weeks now.

"Syriana", on the other hand, has tanked.

Just a simple FYI


32 posted on 01/11/2006 8:59:25 AM PST by threeleftsmakearight
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To: SengirV

Interesting. I HATED the LOTR movies & loved the books. I thought TLTW&TW was very well done.


33 posted on 01/11/2006 8:59:51 AM PST by presidio9 (Si hoc legere scis nimium eruditionis habes.)
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To: presidio9

The writer of this piece comes across as such a pretenious fop. He unintentually reveals much about his own self-absorbed lifestyle and political bent, but next to nothing about the actual literary and philosophical merits of the Nardia Chronicles themselves. His review of the film and the books reflects only his own narcissimn.


34 posted on 01/11/2006 9:00:36 AM PST by Irish Queen
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To: presidio9

I'm sure he would have liked it had Aslan been gay and the White Witch had flashed her boobs a couple of times.


35 posted on 01/11/2006 9:00:56 AM PST by Reaganesque
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To: presidio9
And adults remain baffled to this day at the astounding magnetic pull they hold for children, and re-reading them again as an adult does little in the way of revealing their curious power.

That is bcause he doesn't understand the symbolism behind the sacrifice Aslan, THE CREATOR, made to save someone who utterly did not deserve to be saved. When I re-read the book and then saw the movie, it brought tears to my eyes as I thought of how Jesus allowed himself to be utterly humiliated by his enemies so that I may be spared.

36 posted on 01/11/2006 9:00:56 AM PST by Blood of Tyrants (G-d is not a Republican. But Satan is definitely a Democrat.)
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To: SengirV

Your opinion was shared by my son. Of course he is a giant LotR fan. I would think it would be almost impossible for Chronicles to measure up to the Rings movies.


37 posted on 01/11/2006 9:00:56 AM PST by justshutupandtakeit (Public Enemy #1, the RATmedia.)
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To: presidio9

This guy's column has all of the intellectual sophistication of Beavis and Butthead, except that Beavis and Butthead are funny and this man is just an idiot. What kind of moron uses the pejorative "Suck" in the headline title of his column?


38 posted on 01/11/2006 9:00:58 AM PST by domenad (In all things, in all ways, at all times, let honor guide me.)
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To: presidio9

"a rather lean slice of delightfully wrought but fairly simpleminded, largely hobbled fantasy for the imagination-deprived"

There is no value in being "delightfully-wrought," Mr. Morford, if it doesn't serve your agenda? Imagination-deprived? Actually, one of the best things about the Narnia books is that they provide a fantastically rich context for imagination, while describing everything very lightly: He provides the edges of an image, and leaves the child's imagination to color it in.

Tolkein used the inverse means of stimulating imagination. He provided preposterous depth yet consistency of detail, allowing one to endlessly recycle his creations in new situations.

Between then two, there is an excellent school of imagination.

Of course, Ms. Morford only likes the Lord of the Rings because he thinks Sam and Frodo are gay.


39 posted on 01/11/2006 9:01:10 AM PST by dangus
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To: presidio9

Remember, this is the guy (?) who admitted licking doornobs in Republican's offices he would visit in an attempt to infect them with his cold. Literally a sicko.


40 posted on 01/11/2006 9:02:14 AM PST by joebuck
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