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Morford: Does 'Narnia' Actually Suck?
San Francisco Chronicle ^ | January 11, 2006 | Mark Morford (stay away from her wardrobe)

Posted on 01/11/2006 8:36:00 AM PST by presidio9

I was all wrong about "Narnia."

Which is to say, about six months ago in this space I was hell-bent on the white-hot idea that Hollywood and the Christian-right group/billionaire that helped produce the tepid and saccharine flick would absolutely ruin "The Chronicles of Narnia" books, ruin the deep magic and the astounding sense of wonder these books held for millions of children (including this writer) by regurgitating them as a slick, dumbed-down, poorly acted smarm-fest full of ham-fisted Jesus allusions and excessive special effects, all from the director who brought you, ahem, "Shrek 2."

Things did not, shall we say, look good.

Truly, I was of the mind that the "Narnia" books, to my dreamy, rose-colored memory, were these insanely rich and ingenious tales, dense and deeply involved anecdotes of children exploring a phenomenally magical world that was so utterly not of this grungy, terrestrial plane it might as well have been Pluto. Like many, my time-addled vision elevated the books to the status of utter genius, largely due to the feeling of unchecked awe I can still recall them providing. And I was absolutely sure Hollywood would rape that memory for all the pseudo-Christian bullcrap and Burger King tie-ins it possibly could.

I was wrong. Sort of. Hollywood didn't actually ruin "Narnia." Hollywood didn't cheapen it all that much, or reduce it down or remove much of the original majesty by injecting it with too much CGI and not enough heart. Rather, Hollywood has done something even more depressing: It's revealed "The Chronicles of Narnia" books to be what they actually are: a rather lean slice of delightfully wrought but fairly simpleminded, largely hobbled fantasy for the imagination-deprived single-digit set.

I have now seen the movie. -snip-

(Excerpt) Read more at sfgate.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society; News/Current Events; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: 42yearlifeexpectancy; aidsgayplague; antichristian; christianbullcrap; chronicwhat; colonclimber; cslewis; daddyissues; dudewheresmypenis; epluribussmokepot; eustacesmommy; formeranalvirgin; hedonismbot; hereandnowobsession; homosexualagenda; idiotarian; ifeelprettyosopretty; mancrushonbush; missmorford; moonbat; morford; morfordite; narnia; praytheresnogodmark; rectalherniasrock; sandinvagina; sanfrancisco; selfloathingpervert
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1 posted on 01/11/2006 8:36:02 AM PST by presidio9
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To: presidio9

C.S. Lewis was a genius and Narnia was excellent. Morford on the other hand obviously doesn't like anything that doesn't contain the vapidness and degredation of an average Maureen Dowd article.

Regards, Ivan


2 posted on 01/11/2006 8:38:23 AM PST by MadIvan (You underestimate the power of the Dark Side - http://www.sithorder.com/)
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To: SmithL; Aslan; Reepicheep; MrTumnus; C.S.Lewis; Prince Caspian; cslewisfan; Wormwood; Narnian

ping


3 posted on 01/11/2006 8:38:49 AM PST by presidio9 (Si hoc legere scis nimium eruditionis habes.)
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To: presidio9
Mark Morford at the SF Gate? nuf said.. this is the ass that has articles such as:

Fun Bits About American Torture - In many ways, the U.S. is now just as inhumane and brutal as any Third World regime. Oh well? 12/16/2005

Eat My Holiday Cheer - Screw joy and togetherness. It's all about retail, just like Jesus would have wanted 12/02/2005

George W. Bush Gives Me Hope - The astonishing collapse of the Bumbling One surely means healthy change is imminent, right? 11/18/2005

Let Us Blow Up Bill O'Reilly - Of course the PR-sucking Fox News blowhard is off his nut. Again. Question is, Should you care? 11/16/2005

You can almost predict what Morford would say about this movie without even reading the article.
4 posted on 01/11/2006 8:40:51 AM PST by mnehring (Perry 06- It's better than a hippie in a cowboy hat or a commie with blue hair.)
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To: presidio9
SNL - The Chronic of Narnia Rap
5 posted on 01/11/2006 8:41:01 AM PST by CJ Wolf (BTW can someone add 'zot' to the FR spellchecker?)
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To: presidio9
A 1-minute summary of Morford:

He loved Narnia as a kid. Upon seeing the movie and re-checking the books, he has decided that Narnia sucks. It's childish. It's Christian. Only a naive little child would tolerate such childish tripe. He is beyond that now. The only good thing about the movie was the portrayal of Evil. He found that quite attracttive.

6 posted on 01/11/2006 8:42:07 AM PST by ClearCase_guy
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To: CJ Wolf

Do you mean the CHRONIC-what?-el of Narnia?


7 posted on 01/11/2006 8:42:28 AM PST by presidio9 (Si hoc legere scis nimium eruditionis habes.)
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Yuh know, Ms./It Morford. please keep what you suck to yourself, ok.


8 posted on 01/11/2006 8:42:31 AM PST by Dane ( anyone who believes hillary would do something to stop illegal immigration is believing gibberish)
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To: presidio9

I saw it. I liked it...


9 posted on 01/11/2006 8:43:23 AM PST by dubie
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To: presidio9

No. (But it's certain that his boyfriend does.)


10 posted on 01/11/2006 8:44:44 AM PST by PBRSTREETGANG
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To: presidio9
From the article:

Oh sure, the books are still packed with annoying Christian allegory,

And THAT, my FRiends, is why the story so thoroughly irritates, annoys, and infuriates Miss Morford.

11 posted on 01/11/2006 8:46:45 AM PST by ArrogantBustard (Western Civilisation is aborting, buggering, and contracepting itself out of existence.)
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To: ClearCase_guy; MadIvan

I actually re-read the series a short time ago. I bought them for my Goddaughter, and I read her a couple of chapters a night for a month or so. Having recently heard the crys from the left that they were Christian propaganda (and having read them as a kid without realizing this), I was amazed at how well-written they are. There is tons of Christian symbolism that goes right over your head (and obviously any 8 year-old's head) unless you are specifically looking for it.


12 posted on 01/11/2006 8:46:51 AM PST by presidio9 (Si hoc legere scis nimium eruditionis habes.)
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To: CJ Wolf

Weird but funny.


13 posted on 01/11/2006 8:48:25 AM PST by silverleaf (Fasten your seat belts- it's going to be a BUMPY ride.)
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To: presidio9

CS Lewis was a friend of Tolkien. Morford is a friend of Dorothy.


14 posted on 01/11/2006 8:49:22 AM PST by agere_contra
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To: CJ Wolf

I gotta have a cupcake!


15 posted on 01/11/2006 8:49:56 AM PST by ArrogantBustard (Western Civilisation is aborting, buggering, and contracepting itself out of existence.)
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To: MadIvan

Memo to Ms. Morford:

The books haven't changed. You have. You have become deaf to the subtleties and nuances which are there, because they are different than the cookie-cutter and ham-fisted agendae which you mistake for being subtle and unique because they are rejected by decent people. You, Ms. Morford, are precisely the sort of person who runs the "new schools" that tyrranized poor Jill.

"There once was a (ahem) boy, named Morford, and he just about deserved it."


16 posted on 01/11/2006 8:50:17 AM PST by dangus
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To: MadIvan

Thought it was a good movie! Good fairy tale even for adults. May I admit to a few tears when Aslan was being tortured enroute to his crucifixion...err, I mean, death.
Theater was filled, too.


17 posted on 01/11/2006 8:50:23 AM PST by silverleaf (Fasten your seat belts- it's going to be a BUMPY ride.)
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To: silverleaf

That's one of the blessings of the net, you don't have to actually watch Saturday Night Live to catch maybe one good skits every seven shows. They eventually make it out here.


18 posted on 01/11/2006 8:50:42 AM PST by CJ Wolf (BTW can someone add 'zot' to the FR spellchecker?)
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To: ClearCase_guy

>> He loved Narnia as a kid. Upon seeing the movie and re-checking the books, he has decided that Narnia sucks. It's childish. It's Christian. Only a naive little child would tolerate such childish tripe. He is beyond that now. The only good thing about the movie was the portrayal of Evil. He found that quite attracttive. <<

You do quite an excellent job at making him sound like Eustace Scrubb's parents.


19 posted on 01/11/2006 8:52:36 AM PST by dangus
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To: MadIvan

He's just upset that there were no gay sheepherders in Narnia.


20 posted on 01/11/2006 8:52:47 AM PST by MeanWestTexan (Many at FR would respond to Christ "Darn right, I'll cast the first stone!")
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