Posted on 01/10/2006 1:49:22 AM PST by nickcarraway
John O, I may not agree with everything you said on this thread, but this is a truth that deserves an AMEN.
If my wife shows me that she admires me (remember that Nancy Reagan "look" at Ronnie?), it's better than sex. Well, a little...
It was, and I'm sorry you had to see it. But the man's attitude toward women was crass also and I didn't see any of the God-fearing men of high moral character taking him to task for using women for sex and throwing them out. Not even those with daughters. I lost my temper.
Respect isn't a foreign only concept. My husband treats me with respect and I treat him with respect. I respect all my friends. I treat waiters and store clerks and my father with respect. I don't respect those who are rude and don't deserve it, or it means nothing :~D
You intermingle the meaning of respect in marriage with a service aspect that I see as just being nice and giving of yourself because you love someone.
Oh well, John... I know a lot of what has gotten you grief on this forum is semantics. You talk in a way that seems to reduce women to functions they provide for you. Perhaps it is just the coldness of text. You probably aren't my kinda guy, but you're probably an OK guy in your own life. I do hope you find love and companionship for yourself and your daughter.
That is the crux of what makes this creepy.
John, pretend with me, that one day, you meet a woman at church who is the answer to all your prayers. She is your soul mate. I mean, you finish each others sentences, love all the same things, you've never been happier. EXCEPT, after the 3rd date, it comes out that she's sterile.
So Sterile Stella introduces you to her younger sister. Fertile Myrtle. A nice girl, meets all the criteria. You could get alone with her OK. But you know that Stella is true match.
OK, I know the answer to this. Every woman reading this knows the answer to this. Sadly, even poor Myrtle will know the answer too....THAT is as simple as I can put it.
Men want respect? Women want love.
I don't mean namby pamby nice love. I don't mean spoil her with flowers love. I don't mean rub her feet love. Tell her she's pretty love.
I mean take a bullet for her love. Want her enough to give up something love. Love her disfigured love. Want her, and only her, forever her for eternity love.
Women want to be loved for themselves. Period. Any woman marrying you will always know that she is second. Always.
Actually, I find her rather attractive...
I try to tell my husband often that he's the coolest guy I know (he is)... and he likes a foot rub as much as I do :~D
To add on, I'm a non-jerk guy...who often loses women he likes to jerks, because for some odd reason, many women are attracted to jerks...
I sympathise with your situation. You've obviously been dealt a heavy emotional blow that hurt you, and hurt you a lot. Simply put, that sucks. However, that really doesn't reflect on ALL American women or American women in general. I'm married to an American woman, I've raised an American woman, and I've got one more who's coming up. So naturally as a husband, and father of American women, I'm not buying it.
Lol, do I really look like that much of a bad boy? I know I'm not exactly clean cut, but I never really thought of myself as a bad boy. I guess I just thought I looked rugged.
You're killing me!
I am a strong follower of the writings of John Eldrige (I suspect John O is too, based on the concepts he puts forth).
What amazed me is that his (Eldridge's) philosophy on what women, at the deepest level, want is to be the Beauty fought for and rescued by the Hero.
I mean take a bullet for her love. Want her enough to give up something love. Love her disfigured love. Want her, and only her, forever her for eternity love.
This almost sounds like it came straight out of Wild At Heart or Captivating. Some may not like it, but what you said is a universal truth.
Now, I'm still trying to figure out why so many women go for reclamation projects - men who look like they just got out on parole.
you->The above well proves my point. If you were HONEST and FAIR you would NEVER have made the above statement. YOU are part of the problem, John O.
I don't understand why you have a problem with the truth. Search for any thread posted by RogerFGay and you'll find a bunch of men who've lost their kids etc. In fact, I'll make it easy for you.:
20 Organizations and Authorities Blast PBS on "Breaking the Silence"
Just click the link to read the statistics on this. (or read any other thread by Roger). The studies have been done and the numbers point to 85 to 90 percent of women being awarded custody of the children (or roughly 9 times as many men lost everything as opposed to women). Of course in some jurisdictions the numbers are different. In an Arlington VA study 100% of child custody cases were settled in the woman's favor (or an infinite number of men lost everything compared to women)
Now if my statement is true (and it demonstrably is) how can you call me dishonest or unfair for making it?
Go find the womb to produce your children. And be sure to explain to the owner of that womb, that it and the children it bears, is more important than she is.
Now why are you attacking women who want to have children? I don't understand how you can put down someone just because she wants children and is willing to marry someone to have them. Does the fact that some people want children bother you? Or perhaps the idea of someone getting married is the sticker? I really don't understand.
Lol, sorry, but you won't even find a misdemeanor on my record. Nothing but a bunch of petty offenses in my youth. The worst I believe was a $100 fine back in the dark ages for having an illegal fire in a state park.
The whole biker thing is in my blood I guess. It's not an affection. My father was introduced to motorcycles in WWII, and brought his love of cycling back home. I literally grew up with motorcycles and having bikers around the house. I got my first bike when I was 6. Something would be amiss if I didn't reflect that subculture.
btw, and this is posed to you and music, is it really such a bad thing that women are attracted to excitement? Isn't that just a natural human inclinition?
We have some friends from church that just got married last year. She's a police officer, and he's a biker. He looks very rough on the outside, but he is one of the nicest guys you'll ever meet. Their wedding was a hilarious mix of people: the straight looking police officers and typical church members, the rough looking bikers, and then a group of punk looking young people that were friends with the bride's daughter. It was a great wedding! Very colorful!
Let's see... A woman asks men what they think. They answer. She ridicules them.
Sounds normal to me.
Not really. Here it is... When a guy is cocky and arrogant and a jerk to those around him, a woman sometimes thinks "Man, I'd love to have a guy like that on MY side in a battle". But the thing is, where they often go wrong is in the underlined part, they think the guy will not act that way toward ~them~. And they often find out they're wrong. It's tough to tame a jerk.
But have hope... There's gals out there that have figured out it's a lot of work and a pretty bruising experience to be around those jerks, and they realize, there really aren't enough battles and dragons to slay to make the bruises worthwhile.
~chuckling~
And their promiscuous cousin, Sloppy Sally, and her celibate sister, Frigid Midge...
The problem is the fault of both genders.
A man needs to be a man: Loving his wife so much he'd give his life up for her. Protecting and providing while loving and respecting. Treating his wife as a partner, not as property.
A woman needs to be a woman: Gentle and tender. Giving her husband the respect and support he needs AND deserves. Loving him and her children with all her might. Treating her husband as a partner, not as a means to an end.
There are wonderful American women out there. But ah, well. If you've given up on them, it makes it that much easier for some other guy to find a good American woman.
I know two who don't get to see their kids (ex-wives moved out of state to prevent it). I know two others who wouldn't get to see their kids if it wasn't for the guy the ex-wife ran away with running out on them and the ex having to move back home.
(Why would a woman run off with a guy who runs around with married women? Isn't it obvious that if he runs around with you he'll run around on you?)
I know several who suffer under extreme child support burdens (where the kids are obviously not getting the money)
Now admittedly most arrangements are done by the couple themselves but there are enough outrageous ones to show the system is broken.
Specifically, what is the problem with that? If you married, would you want mom to stay home with the kids? If so, why?
I'm just trying to figure out if you are one of those hypocrites who talks out of both sides of his mouth:
"Women should stay home with the kids. It's Mom's job to raise them. It's Dad's job to work."
"In cases of divorce, custody should not be awarded to moms so often. After all, the mother/child relationship is no more important than the father/child relationship."
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