That is the crux of what makes this creepy.
John, pretend with me, that one day, you meet a woman at church who is the answer to all your prayers. She is your soul mate. I mean, you finish each others sentences, love all the same things, you've never been happier. EXCEPT, after the 3rd date, it comes out that she's sterile.
So Sterile Stella introduces you to her younger sister. Fertile Myrtle. A nice girl, meets all the criteria. You could get alone with her OK. But you know that Stella is true match.
OK, I know the answer to this. Every woman reading this knows the answer to this. Sadly, even poor Myrtle will know the answer too....THAT is as simple as I can put it.
Men want respect? Women want love.
I don't mean namby pamby nice love. I don't mean spoil her with flowers love. I don't mean rub her feet love. Tell her she's pretty love.
I mean take a bullet for her love. Want her enough to give up something love. Love her disfigured love. Want her, and only her, forever her for eternity love.
Women want to be loved for themselves. Period. Any woman marrying you will always know that she is second. Always.
You're killing me!
I am a strong follower of the writings of John Eldrige (I suspect John O is too, based on the concepts he puts forth).
What amazed me is that his (Eldridge's) philosophy on what women, at the deepest level, want is to be the Beauty fought for and rescued by the Hero.
I mean take a bullet for her love. Want her enough to give up something love. Love her disfigured love. Want her, and only her, forever her for eternity love.
This almost sounds like it came straight out of Wild At Heart or Captivating. Some may not like it, but what you said is a universal truth.
Now, I'm still trying to figure out why so many women go for reclamation projects - men who look like they just got out on parole.
~chuckling~
John, pretend with me, that one day, you meet a woman at church who is the answer to all your prayers. She is your soul mate. I mean, you finish each others sentences, love all the same things, you've never been happier. EXCEPT, after the 3rd date, it comes out that she's sterile.
I do not believe in love at first sight. Love is a decision you make to treasure someone. (as you described below, I would have taken a bullet for my wife and more. Ask andie74 if you need independant verification) While you can be immensly attracted to someone right off the bat you can't really love them until you know them. This takes time. Love grows with each day you spend with someone as long as you are moving in the same direction. Likewise if your paths diverge love can die. That's why it's critical to keep involved in each others lives and to keep moving in the same direction.
One reason I am using the church lady network is to be able to as much as possible spend my time only with people who are a good match. (I've not dated in 20 years and haven't a clue how to even start. I'll let the pro's do the work for me. Church ladies (at least the ones I know) normally live for this sort of thing) So by the time I'm on the first date with someone I will know that they want kids (and as far as they know can have kids*). So I'd never get to the third date with Sterile Stella cause I wouldn't date her in the first place. We are not a good match
So how could she be my soul mate if we never really talk and I know already that our goals are not the same.
So Sterile Stella introduces you to her younger sister. Fertile Myrtle. A nice girl, meets all the criteria. You could get alone with her OK. But you know that Stella is true match.
As a matter of principle it is always wrong to date someone's sister once you've dated them. It is cruel to at least one of the sisters and since they could end up as your in-law it is never a good idea. I wouldn't entertain it at all.
OK, I know the answer to this. Every woman reading this knows the answer to this. Sadly, even poor Myrtle will know the answer too....THAT is as simple as I can put it.
I don't even know the question being asked here?
Women want love..... Period.
Agreed entirely. And I wouldn't marry a woman if I couldn't love her that way.
Any woman marrying you will always know that she is second. Always.
Again I don't understand. Second to who? How is finding someone with the same goals you have somehow an insult to or a devaluing of that person?
Should I hold it against a woman if she won't marry me because I'm white and she wanted a black man? Or because her life is built around being in and on the water and she wanted a swimmer and I can't swim? Of course not. I'm obviously not what she's looking for. Why would a woman hold it against me for trying to find what I'm looking for?
I really don't understand why you see it as creepy.
* We've covered the case on previous threads where she didn't know she was sterile. Once married always married. If I loved her enough to marry her in the first place than obviously I will love her enough to spend the rest of my life with her, treasuring her every day of the way
I'll say. John O in earlier posts revealed exactly what he is and has been attempting to backtrack. Nice try but NO cigar, John.
Thank God the traditional people (including my father) who raised this traditional woman taught me to be FAIR to both sexes and not to objective the opposite sex.