Posted on 01/03/2006 8:14:34 AM PST by NYer
January 2, 2006: The Church of the SubGenius has announced that the end of the world will take place on Wednesday, July 5, 2006. In preparation for the fulfillment of this doomsday prophecy, the Church is requesting that all of its members participate in a bizarre religious ceremony taking place in upstate New York, during the final weekend before the arrival of the apocalypse.
Since its inception in 1953, Church founder J.R. "Bob" Dobbs has predicted that a fleet of flying saucers will arrive at the beginning of July to destroy the worldwide Conspiracy against the Church of the SubGenius, while all ordained SubGenius ministers will be rescued by escape vessels piloted by the Alien Sex Goddesses, also known as the Xists.
The Church is inviting all of its members worldwide to gather together for the final hours in Sherman, New York from Thursday, June 29 to July 5, at a clothing-optional outdoor campground called Brushwood Folklore Center. The first gathering at this compound took place in 1996, and the event has increased in size and participants each following year. 1998 was designated the first true "X-Day," and each successive year has added one to the total. This year's celebration in 2006 is X-Day 9, or X-Day IX.
The Church has been engaged in a massive recruitment campaign to increase the numbers of its membership before the arrival of the Xists. According to Church records, the organization currently has approximately 100,000 members worldwide. SubGenius recruitment has been especially dedicated among the ranks of people who refuse to conform to the norms of society, including disbelievers, blasphemers, pranksters, rebels, hackers, pornographers, geeks, and outcasts.
The Church is seeking performers and producers from the adult entertainment industry in particular, because sexual freedom has been an important part of Church doctrine from the start. X-Day will be a celebration of pornography and adult entertainment, and certain parts of the event will be restricted to adults only. Only ordained ministers of the Church of the SubGenius are allowed at the event, but the Church is accepting memberships at its standard rate of $30 up until the final hours of July 4.
The Church of the SubGenius has been no stranger to controversy since its foundation, and the upcoming X-Day celebration promises to be no different. In the late 1980s, members of the Church were accused of spreading a virus in Macintosh computers known as the "Peace Virus." Numerous articles have been written on the Church in such noteworthy publications as the New York Times, Washington Post, Wired Online, Boston Globe, U.S. News and World Report; and broadcast reports have been produced by CNN and NPR. In April 1999, officials of the city of Cambridge, Massachusetts shut down an official SubGenius Devival gathering in the belief that the Church was affiliated with the Trenchcoat Mafia ( the organization blamed for the Columbine high school shootings ), though authorities later realized the association was mistaken. In its January 1, 2000 issue, a Time magazine poll declared J.R. "Bob" Dobbs the biggest fraud of the 20th century.
Detailed information about X-Day can be found on the World Wide Web at the X-Day Web site:
http://www.modemac.com/x-day
The official home page of the Church of the SubGenius can be found at:
http://www.subgenius.com
Photographers, entertainers, production companies, radio broadcasters, and all media producers are encouraged to contact the Church at its Cleveland, Ohio headquarters at ( 216 ) 320-9528.
Contact: The SubGenius Foundation, Inc.
Phone/Fax: ( 216 ) 320-9528
stang@subgenius.com, jesus@subgenius.com
(((Why am I not surprised that this group of nutcases is located in Cleveland? We get all the weirdos here.)))
I'm in D.C. Checkmate!
They won't be needing clothes where they are going.
Heck, I was already booking a hotel and airfare on Priceline!
Apocalypse in NYC? I didn't know the Dems were having a convention this year! (Or would that be "a pack of lies"?)
The above will be pointed out repeatedly in this thread and you'll see people as usual blithely ignore it :-)
It's really essentially an elaborate parody and satire of cults like Scientology.
So9
Thank yew.
"Tee hee. And don't call me an alien."
The Church of the SubGenius playing a joke on the mundanes? Perish the thought!
Sure it kills brain cells -- but only the weak ones.
Bleeding head good! Healed head bad!
Never:
1. Eat at a restaurant called "Mom's."
2. Play poker with a man called "Doc."
3. Join a religiion headed by a "Bob."
All of these off the wall cults are always trying to get people to take off their clothes.
Eternal salvation or triple your money back. No other Church makes this guarantee.
Friend, it’s NEVER to late to join the Church. We don’t want your money. We just want the part of your soul that’s attached to your money. Go to subgenius.com (not edu or gov or event net) because we care. About your soul. At least the part that’s attached to that dollar.
5 July 2009 is almost upon us!
Proud Subgenius since 1979. Don’t you dare say it’s not a cult. I got in on the ground floor, but it hasn’t been as lucrative as promised. Yet, when the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. See you in Sherman.
Unfortunately, Janet Reno is considered a "sex goddess" in outer space. So is Donna Shalala.
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