Rabbi's Refreshing Frankness: Raising Kids in Two Religions "Insane"

Today Show/NewsBusters ^ | Mark Finkelstein

[governsleastgovernsbest]

by Mark Finkelstein

December 23, 2005 - 08:40

What the Today show probably intended as a warm-'n-fuzzy holiday segment just veered wildly off course when a rabbi spoke some unvarnished truth.

The topic was "December Dilemma: Interfaith Holdidays," and dealt with the issue of celebrating the holidays in families with children where the parents are of different religions.

Footage was played of a family with a Jewish wife, a Christian husband and a couple of very cute daughters. They were predictably shown admiring both a menorah and a Christmas tree.

Back in the studio, David Gregory interviewed "The God Squad," Rabbi Marc Gellman and Monsignor Thomas Hartman, who for years have made joint appearances to discuss religious matters.

When Gregory asked the rabbi if there was anything wrong with bringing the children of mixed marriages up in some kind of combo religion, I had the feeling he was anticipating [as was I], a PC response. Instead, he got a shot of candor right between the eyes:

"[Kids] have to know how to answer when asked [as to their religion] 'what are you?' If they answer 'both,' that's answering that Jesus is and isn't the Messiah, that Christmas is and isn't the birth of the Savior. That's insane. That's crazy. And it shouldn't be put on a child to have to make those kinds of decisions."

Bravo, Rabbi!

[bonfire]

Gotcha and I agree.


So what are you so angry about?

[Galveston Grl]

This inter-marriage trend is a big threat to the population size of Jewish Americans. (The other threat is low birth rates.) A lot of kids with Christian and Jewish parents don't idenitfy themselves as Jewish or Christian. These children of American Jews move from the Jewish category to the nothing category. The other problem is that Christians reach out to people in the nothing category to become Christian. Jews don't recruit.

[JamesP81]

Religion can be taken too far, of that, there is no question. Nevertheless, being in a church, a good church on a regular basis is good for a man's spirit, regardless of what anybody thinks. However, choosing church is like choosing a wife; choose wisely. Additionally, choosing no church family at all is not choosing wisely, unless there is literally no good church in your area, which I would really have trouble believing no matter where you lived.

The bottom line is that morality and spirituality, not the particular denomination, is what should be emphasized.

That Jesus Christ died for remission of sins should be emphasized first, morality second. Morality and lifestyle changes are pretty much automatic anyway if you truly have faith and love Christ enough to follow Him. Faith without works is dead. The good works are not your salvation, but the indicator of your salvation.

[chris1]

Don't leave out the fact that Jesus lived, taught, preached, was mocked, was crucified, all as a Jewish person. I don't ever remember him referring to himself as anything but a Jew.

For some reason, this fact gets glossed over all too often.

[Blood of Tyrants]

I was addressing YOU personally in your relationship with God. As an INDIVIDUAL you cannot control what other people believe. I have NEVER once said that we shouldn't be fighting the WOT against the Muslims. I believe that there are certain Muslims groups that ought to be wiped off the face of the earth. Maybe you need to go to decaf.

[NCLaw441]

You said: Frankly, I disagree.

It seems to be a nice compromise. And its probably better than providing them with no religion at all.
***

Sorry, I disagree. Your suggestion may work while the children are very young, but when one begins to actually learn about the tenets of one's faith, choices have to be made. I am Christian, so my views are slanted that way, but it seems to me that Christianity is the better choice in this situation, for at least a couple of reasons. First, but least important, is the social factor that Christianity is the majority religion in this country. That may help with some potential acceptance issues dealing with parents of different faiths. Second, Christianity is not, or at least should not be, antagonistic towards Judaism. The central figures of the Christian faith were Jews. Jewish traditions are not necessarily inconsistent with Christian beliefs. Celebrating Passover by a Christian isn't inconsistent with Christian beliefs, while celebrating Christmas as the birth of the Messiah doesn't comport with Jewish beliefs. Christians believe the Messiah has come, Jews are still waiting. And there are Messianic Jews, aren't there, who believe Christ IS the Messiah?

Anyway, sorry to disagree with your view on this.

[chris1]

To be honest, this article touched off a nerve on a personal situation I have on my hands. It has brought out many ugly things in those around me who sadly are the closest.

Those closest to us often do the most damage and can be the most hurtful. It is very sad when people treat their pets better than even their own family and friends.

[Junior_G]

I've never once known a Christian who had anything bad to say about Jews. All the anti-semitic comments I've heard have come from folks that were distinctly non-Christian.

[Alberta's Child]

I think Judaism and Christianity are NOT mutually exclusive but share a lot of teachings in common.

You're making the mistake of confusing moral teachings with religious doctrine. Religious doctrine often serves as the foundation of moral teachings, but commonality of moral codes of conduct is not an indication of a common religious basis. Most of the moral teachings of Judaism and Christianity can be found in almost any culture in the world -- even secular ones.

I'm interested as to why you think Judaism and Christianity are mutually exclusive, other than of course the obvious, i.e. the divinity of Jesus Christ.

I'm confused as to why you insist on diminishing the most obvious difference between the two. That's the whole point . . . it's the most obvious because it's the one that makes them mutually exclusive. A child who is raised in a mixed Christian/Jewish household can't possibly develop even a cursory understanding of who Jesus Christ was without completely alienating himself from one of his parents.

[bonfire]

Hang in there, Chris. Keep looking UP!

[JamesP81]

I'm interested as to why you think Judaism and Christianity are mutually exclusive, other than of course the obvious, i.e. the divinity of Jesus Christ.

Try not to take what I'm going to say as rude.

Without the divinity of Christ, there is no Christianity. The law and moral teaching of Christianity is secondary to who Christ is and that He died for remission of our sins. Being a good moral person is not the central tenet of Christianity. It's the divinity of Christ. Without that, Christianity is nothing more than Judaism by a different name. If you think that raising children in Christianity only means teaching them good morals, then you're missing the point entirely. Christianity without a divine Christ would just be Judaism by a different name. They would be better off raising the children Jewish straight-up than offering that kind of confused teaching.

[JamesP81]

To me, the person who screws others as a course of practice in business is far far worse than someone who misses mass but is an otherweise decent person.

We agree here. The only point I'm making is that not every church is bad and it makes it much easier for a man to reach his potential in Christ if he can find a good church family.

[Junior_G]

Setting a child up in a dual-religion situation is worse than no religion at all. Two "equally valid" religions are equally meaningless when forced to take together. This sounds like a pukey PC-situation similar to parents who force a crappy hyphenated last name on their child because they are too selfish to give up their maiden names. Eventually those kids have to choose which parent they want to insult by dropping their half of the last name-----either that or have a preposterous triple or quadruple hyphenated name when they marry down the road and refuse to drop their maiden name just like mommy.

[chris1]

I guess you are right. But as a kid, you never are told these things and often have to this this type of seeking with the usual dissapproval from family members who usually are the most supportive when it comes to these issues.

[JamesP81]

I've never once known a Christian who had anything bad to say about Jews. All the anti-semitic comments I've heard have come from folks that were distinctly non-Christian.

I've seen anti-semitism from some left-wing churches that claim to be Christian. While I can't judge the salvation of the people that make those statements (because I am not God), those churches seem to be more concerned with the latest PC-fad than with the Word of God. As I said previously about churches: choose wisely.

[JamesP81]

Sorry for being repetitious and hard to read in my post 51. I tend to make dumb mistakes like that this early in the morning.

PIMF.

[JamesP81]

I guess you are right. But as a kid, you never are told these things and often have to this this type of seeking with the usual dissapproval from family members who usually are the most supportive when it comes to these issues.

Believe me, I know. When I left Mormonism for Christianity it caused more than a few problems on the Mormon side of my family. But serving Christ usually does have a cost associated with it, which I will gladly pay.

[Nonstatist]

And its probably better than providing them with no religion at all

You're wrong, IMO. It's exactly the same thing. There are many, many examples (like Geraldo Rivera) of why its the same thing as nothing. In fact its almost a guarantee; nothing confuses like confusion.

[Chickensoup]

I grew up in a mixed family, Jews, Catholics and Prots. What a mess. I chose at 28 and glad I did.

I never would marry outside the faith.

[LWalk18]

I think someone who values passing on their religion to their children should marry within their religion, or at least to someone who is willing to convert to that religion. As a Christian, it would be foolish for me to marry a Jewish man and expect my children to be raised as Christians.

I think the problems begin when a couple starts dating and one or both of them are not all that serious about practicing their faith, and an expection is formed that religion will not be an issue. They then get married and have children, an event which in many people triggers a renewed interest in their religion, and conflicts arise.