Posted on 12/14/2005 11:56:38 AM PST by TASMANIANRED
Buying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated as it is for women.
Follow these simple rules and you should have no problem.
1. When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one.
I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills.
No one knows why.
2. If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it.
Men love saying those two words, "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK, by the way, are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?"
Again, no one knows why.
3. If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A 99 cent ice scraper, a small bottle of de-icer or something to hang from his rear view mirror.
Men love gifts for their cars.
Again, no one knows why.
4. Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men bathrobes.
If God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts.
5. You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out.
If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips.
6. Do not buy a man any of those fancy liqueurs. If you do, it will sit in a cupboard for 23 years.
Real men drink whiskey or beer.
7. Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after shave or deodorant.
We do not stink - we are "earthy".
8. Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills.
Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink." You get the idea.
No one knows why.
9. Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on the box.
It will ruin any occasion and he will always have parts left over.
10. Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, Parr Lumber, Beaver Lumber, Home Depot, John Deere, Canadian Tire Store, Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab Tire. NAPA Auto Parts and Sear's Clearance Centers are also excellent men's stores.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is.
("From NAPA Auto, eh? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! Thanks.")
11. Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they will barbecue.
Get him a monster barbecue with a 100 pound propane tank. Tell him the gas leaks.
"Oh the thrill!The challenge! Who wants hamburger?"
12. Tickets to a Denver Broncos, Colorado Rockies, Central Texas Stampede games are a smart gift.
However, he will not appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts."
Everyone knows why. 13. Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw.
If you don't know why - please refer to Rule #08 and what happens when he gets a label maker.
14. It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder.
Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension ladder.
No one knows why.
15. Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at least the Boy Scouts.
Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8" manila rope.
No one knows why.
Cause they are pretty...and they make us feel pretty. :)
Endlessly useful but does it make a good gift.
I just want sex vouchers.
Definite Buckeye!
I don't know but that is a very useful piece of information.
Once, when times were hard and baby food and diapers were at the top of every grocery store list, I pawned a Savage 99EG 25/35 with a 32" octagonal barrel and curly maple knurled forepiece and stock; its history was even more ironic, my dad had bought it from a guy years earlier who simply needed drinking money.
Oh, that's not mistress material. Most definitely falls under supplementary wife category.
This year it is 28v lithium that makes a tool lover drool.
How much does yours cost? I've squirelled away a cool $27 selling loose cigarettes outside the elementary school, and one of those is lookin' like just the thing to keep me warm these cold nights.
Owl_Eagle
"You know, I'm going to start thanking
the woman who cleans the restroom in
the building I work in. I'm going to start
thinking of her as a human being"
www.northerntool.com big toys r us book for big boys!!! also, www.harbourfreight.com same description
But, don't breed em if you can't feed em I always say.
I'd love to go to one, but it's a long haul from here (left coast), We did blow by one in Utah on the way to hunting in Wyoming this year, But they did send me the hardback Master Catalog!
I'll have to talk to the project desk manager about that. He let's me know what tool my husband talks about and wishes he had. Every year I use him as an inside track to what my hubby wants for Christmas. My husband hasn't figured out we're working together...he just thinks I'm a God send and a genius to boot.
My husband sold one off for an unknown reason before we wed.
Later at a gun show he bought an identical gun.
When he took the grips off discovered it was the same gun.
Had his ID engraved on the frame.
Honestly, Kidman does nothing for me..... to lanky, and prefer brunettes.. someone like Anna Nicole when she was younger, with brown hair and blue or green eyes... now you are talking.
You have to be careful with this one. I got a remote control speed boat for my birthday a couple of years ago. It runs on Nitro and just screams. The thing is they are a LOT of work to keep running. Before it was even started, a "friend" yanked the starter cord out and I had to fix it. Once that was done, I ran it for about 30 minutes before I crashed it and had to do some fiberglass repairs. Then I stuffed the bow into a wave and submarined it.
These things are almost as much work as a real boat, and men don't want gifts that require work!
Now a top of the line battery-powered RC truck/car/boat/plane/helicopter/tank would be cool.
Checking out! Only 11 days till Christmas!
I've found that I'm always happy getting something else that emits light... I was amazed when I found out about those little Tikka 3 LED head lamps that spelunkers use. As soon as I saw one of those, I needed to run right out to the local Cabellas (a relative term, as it's about 50 miles away) and buy one for my took kit (I work on computers, and have spent years with a mini-maglite clenched between my teeth) and a larger Ray-O-Vac headlamp that I keep in my car. As well as the full size Maglite that I keep in my car... I think that I've got a total of about 14 different flashlights around here, as well as both AC and DC powered quartz halogen work lights...
I love putting on my headlamp. As an added bonus, those bluish-white LEDs will blind someone when you're talking to them!
Mark
True, but the size and weight of the package is a DEAD giveaway long before he gets the wrapping off. :-)
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