Posted on 12/05/2005 10:01:04 AM PST by BluAngel
i am trying to do a paper on world war two and im have trouble finding information i have tried google and am not getting the information i need from it... any suggestions?
I like this one:
T0J0: OMGWTFBBQ!!?
*T0J0 has been COMPLETELY OWNZORED*
The only reason I know it is "microfiche", is that I still have some...and the reader.
Q: What do you feed your microfish?
Microfishflakes?
Germans?
Forget it, he's rolling.
My advice is to look in the library and be sure not to include as reference material ANY book that was written after 1960. Mostly everything from then on (with some exceptions) carries with it the strong, liberal smell of leftist revisionism.
Is this a turn-page paper?
LOL! They forage on their own....(shhhhh! don't tell PETA, they'll feel their pain, or something)
A Bridge To Far
The Longest Day
Battle of the Bulge
The Audie Murphy Story
Twelve O'clock High
The Flying Tigers
They Were Expendable
Heck, the list goes on and on.
I thought they ate periodicals!
A+
LMAO
GFB
STT
Nu G4m3?
Not mine, they ate well logs.
*************
Wow. Term papers are now required for grades K-6. Amazing.
In a nutshell, the causes and effects of WWII.
The Germans were a restless people in the last century, always moving east and west, north and south.
They were seeking shaven women and a good, square meal--something other than their own hirsute women and bloody sausages & fermented cabbage.
The English agreed to teach the Teutons manners, the French offered them snails and frogs, can-can girls & diplomacy (Otherwise known as "Can't we just be friends?"). We tried to loan them the Rockettes . . .
But those stubborn Huns refused. Five years later we started buying their cars. (See 'The War in the Pacific.)
There you go. WWII. You can use, but credit me. All rights reserved.
LOL -- thanks for the memory!!!
Yes, Vast knowledge here on FR is the finest in the world.
Silly, whatever you do, do not mention The Germans. I did once... well, let me introduce you to Basil Fawlty. I have a transcript of his discussion about the war with some real German citizens.
They are rare, you know. The real ones anyway. Lots of fake ones here and about, but real ones? Hah! Very difficult to find.
But Mr. Basil Fawlty found them and he summed up everything you would need to know about World War II in short order. Orders, I mean! Which Must BE OBEYED!
Basil will tell you all about the war. He's a waiter in a fine hotel, so you will have to read very carefully because sometimes he forgets who he is talking to.
Younger Herr: May we have two eggs mayonnaises, please?
Basil: Certainly! Why not, why not indeed? We are all friends now, eh?
Elder Herr: A prawn cocktail.
Basil: All in the Market together, old differences forgotten, and no need at all to mention the war SORRY! Sorry. What was it again?
Elder Herr: A prawn cocktail.
Basil: Oh, prawn! That was it! When you said "prawn", I thought you said "war". Oh, y Oh, the war! Oh, yes, completely slipped my mind! Yes, I'd forgotten all about it. Hitler, Himmler, and all that lot Oh, yes, completely forgotten it, just like that.
[He looks around for a moment in confusion.]
Basil: Sorry. What was it again?
Elder Herr: A prawn cocktail!
Basil: Oh, yes, Eva Prawn. Yes, of course. And Goebbels too, he's another one I can hardly remember at all.
Younger Herr: And ein pickled herring!
Basil: Hermann Goering, yes, yes, and, uh, von Ribbentrop, that was another one.
Elder Herr: And four cold meat salads, please.
Basil: Certainly. Well, I'll just get your hors d'oeuvres hors d'oeuvres vich must be obeyed at all times vithout qvestion! Sorry! Sorry!
[Polly enters the dining room.]
Polly: Mr Fawlty, will you please call your wife immediately?
[Basil looks around frantically.]
Basil: Sybil? Sybi She's in the hospital, you silly girl!
Polly: Yes, call her there!
Basil: I can't! I've got too much to do. '[whispering loudly] Listen, don't mention the war! I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it alright.
[Basil returns to the Germans.]
Basil: So! It's all forgotten now, and let's hear no more about it. So, that's two egg mayonnaise, a prawn Goebbels, a Hermann Goering, and four Colditz salads.
[The younger Frau is sobbing openly now, consoled by the elder Herr.]
Basil: Now, wait a minute. Well, I got a bit confused here. Sorry! I got a bit confused, 'cause everyone keeps mention the war. So, could you what's the matter?
Elder Herr: It's all right.
Basil: Is there something wrong?
Elder Herr: Will you stop talking about the war?!
Basil: ME?! You started it!
Elder Herr: We did not start it!
Basil: Yes you did you invaded Poland!
And there you have it, BluAngel, World War II summed up by Mr. Basil Fawlty.
This was America's greatest general in WWII. Upon being defeated at the battle of Corriganan he uttered the famous words "Klattu Verada Nictu." He kept his promise and he returned two years later, and he was there for the surrender of the Klingons on board the U.S.S. Miraquan.
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