Posted on 10/19/2005 7:49:43 AM PDT by smoothsailing
Rocky Sequel to Knock Out Social Security
By Political Satirist Chris Davis
Oct 19, 2005
Los Angeles—For yet a sixth time, there is to be another Rocky sequel. The film, titled Rocky Balboa, was announced Monday by Columbia Pictures, Revolution Studios and original distributor MGM, which will team up to produce what a press release notes as a return to the style and grit of the 1976 franchise-launching original.
The story will pick up with the fictional prize fighter retired and a widower in a retirement home—meaning no Adrian—who, now broke and after a attempting to overdose on Viagra, agrees to take on Apollo Creed for a third time in a nursing home bout to duke it out for their Social Security retirement.
The hard hitting scenes are said to take the viewers from the streets of Philadelphia to a ring in Los Angeles, California where the fight of the century is to take place. From the Geritol supplements to the wheelchair access ramp at the Philadelphia Museum of Art, each dramatic minute is reported to keep viewers spellbound to its spine tingling conclusion. The producers have pulled no punches in bringing yet another heartwarming Rocky sequel that reaches in and grabs the heart of any American that cares about Social Security.
"Rocky Balboa is about everybody who feels they want to participate in the race of life, rather than be a bystander. You're never too old to climb a mountain, if that's your desire," said a 59-year old Stallone. "Yo! It's also for people that think Social Security is insolvent and should be privatized without penalizing the taxpayers!"
The first Rocky introduced everyone's favorite underdog, a blue-collar, journeyman puncher who goes a full 15 rounds with flamboyant champ Apollo Creed. Although Rocky eventually loses a decision, the film scored a knockout. With a budget of just $1 million, Rocky became one of the top-grossing films of the '70s, pulling in $117 million domestically and $220 million in worldwide ticket sales. It also established the soundbite "Yo, Adrian!," made Stallone a household name, scored nine Oscar nominations (Best Actor and Best Screenplay for Stallone, among them) and won three Academy Awards, including Best Picture.
Stallone, who wrote all five Rocky movies and directed the second, third and fourth films, has reportedly been working on the script for the sixth go-round for some time now, desperately dealing with Rocky on Medicare. He said he felt the time was right to slip on the gloves one last time given the currents going on in his own life, especially as an aging action star that's broke.
Stallone's last significant big-screen role came in 2003's Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over; his most high-profile gig of late was hosting NBC's low-rated reality series The Contender, which traded on his Rocky fame, but like Old Mother Hubbard, there's no food in the cupboard.
"I am drawing on a lot of my feelings that are in synch with many people's feelings about facing the last chapter of their lives and how they want it to be written. Rocky goes through the skepticism of trying to go against the tide and fight Social Security insolvency at the same time," the actor told Daily Variety. "This film is also for those that have to choose between a hot meal and prescription drugs."
Executive producing will be Robert Chartoff and Irwin Winkler, who oversaw the earlier Rocky pictures, while their sons, Charles and David Winkler and William Chartoff, will produce along with Kevin King.
Producers are said to be talking with former actor, Carl Weathers, to reprise his role as a wrinkled Apollo Creed. Rocky, of course, isn't the only muscle-bound hero Stallone is taking out of mothballs. He's also breaking out the dusty bandana for a fourth turn as Rambo. The film is described as "Rambo on a cardiac monitor." Stallone will also write that screenplay.
According to Stallone, filming for the sixth Rocky flick is planned for an early 2006 start—both in Philadelphia and Las Vegas. After fifteen years, Rocky Balboa fans have waited with baited breath for yet another Rocky sequel. This time, hair will fall out and false teeth will fly, as Creed and Rocky go at it once again in an attempt to knock out Social Security.
And when Creed said, "Get up out of that wheelchair, Balboa and we'll finish this fight!" He really meant it.
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Political Satirist Chris Davis is the author of Elective Decisions and In Defense of Liberty, two political thrillers from the Whiskey Creek Press.
© Copyright by NationalLedger.com
"Not me, I have loved the Rocky movies, even the bad ones."
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I'm with you. I actually liked Rocky IV. He loses his entire fortune, moves back to the old neighborood, Adrian goes back to her old job at the pet store. He finds out Mick left him his gym and he reopens it, becoming a mentor to a young up-and-comer while neglecting his eldest son, who is left to the tender mercies of the local schoolyard bullies who want to whup Rocky's son. The boy is forced to study boxing on his own to defend himself. An evil Don King-like manager keeps trying to tempt him back into the ring with a huge payout and, when he rebuffs him, seduces away his young protegee who turns evil overnight and harrasses him into an impromtu street brawl where the ghost of Mick (Burgess Meredith was still alive and kicking at this point) goads him to victory once more. Father and son are reconciled, the evil impresario gets a free front-end realignment and we all live happily ever after--rich in the things that truly matter.
The best sports movie ever was Slap Shot. Any movie where somebody cries is a chick flick.
I saw this flick "Bubba-Ho Tep". They brought back JFK and Elvis.
"Bubba Ho-Tep" was pretty good.
Bruce Campbell rocks the casbah.
Easy - government (taxpayer) funded embryonic stem cell research has come up with a miracle!!!!
Viola! Apollo lives!
Best Sports movie IMO: Hoosiers
"OK, after Ollie makes his second shot - and you WILL make your second shot....."
It's satire.
Like "The Passion of Christ"? There was Colonial Marine crying in "Aliens", too, I believe. ;)
Different kind of crying in Passion. And Hicks was whining in Aliens not crying.
Ping!
I'll read it later but I'll bump it now.
Dude! What were ya smokin' when ya wrote this piece? ROTFLMAO!!!
(thanks for the laughs!)
Pinging the usual suspects!
(anyone wanting on or off the satire ping list, let me know!)
Chris,
Never mind the math lessons in the thread.
This is HILARIOUS! Truly at the peak of your form.
/(IRS Form 1040...)
Sly's laughing all the way to the bank!
Heard he's working on a spy movie called 'Ayatollah from Pensacola'
"Any movie where somebody cries is a chick flick."
THAT is a great observation. And Slap Shot is a great movie. Not sure it's the best movie ever, but it's up there in the top ten. Did you know they have a Slap Shot II (one of the Baldwin doofuses is the star)?
Still, Slapshot is hard to top.
Oh, wait a minute - Rambo's on our side?
Thanks!
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