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The Good Wife's Guide (Guys - You're gonna love this)
http://www.gmu.edu/departments/economics/wew/misc/days.doc ^ | 13 May 1955 | Housekeeping Monthly Magazine

Posted on 10/14/2005 10:20:29 AM PDT by add925

The good wife's guide

1. Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal(especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

2. Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work weary people.

3. Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

4. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.

5. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper etc and then run a dustcloth over the tables.

6. Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

7. Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces(if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

8. Be happy to see him.

9. Greet him with a warm smile and shoe sincerity in your desire to please him.

10. Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first- remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

11. Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.

12. Your goal: Try to make sure your homeis a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

13. Dont greet him with complaints and problems.

14. Dont complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.

15. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

16. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

17. Dont ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will alwaysexercise his will with fairness and truthfullness. You have no right to question him.

18. A good wife always knows her place.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: genderwars; haimusingtehinternet; housewife; oldastheinternet; welcometo7yearsago
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To: JamesP81
Hopefully, this is something she'll appreciate. Now I just got to find her...

If you lived near Dallas, I would suggest a visit to my church, St. Ann's in Coppell. There are hundreds of strikingly beautiful and vivacious women in my parish, and there are different ministeries, depending upon your age.

As I received the Sacrament of Reconciliation last night, I will proceed no further.

181 posted on 10/14/2005 11:45:02 AM PDT by Night Hides Not (1 John 3:18)
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To: WKB
At least you wouldn't have ask "Where's the Beaver"?

ROTFLMAOPIMP!!!!

182 posted on 10/14/2005 11:45:39 AM PDT by Just another Joe (Warning: FReeping can be addictive and helpful to your mental health)
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To: wideawake

I am unaware of any FR rule which says: "You can post lies, as long as they're not in Breaking News."



What you need to do is hit the abuse button
and ask the mods to pull the thread.
That is the only way out of this.


183 posted on 10/14/2005 11:45:40 AM PDT by WKB (If you can't dazzle them with brilliance.. then Baffle them with BS)
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To: add925

You have a lot of nerve to post that list. No brains, but a lot of nerve.


184 posted on 10/14/2005 11:46:13 AM PDT by paul51 (11 September 2001 - Never forget)
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To: DA740
"Actually, here is the 2005 version:

When he comes home from work:

1. Serve him with divorce papers.
2. Calmly call the cops ("Officer, he hit me." Wink. Wink.)
3. Calmly ask female (or dumb male) judge for restraining order to keep hubby away from you and children forever.
4. Steal hubby's house, all money and all property in divorce proceeding.
5. Calmly ask female (or dumb male) judge for sole custody.
6. Garnish Ex-hubby's future wages.
7. Shack up with hubby's best friend ("Elvis II").
8. Move to Tim-Buck-To with kids, cat, Ex-hubby's Elvis II and all Ex-hubby's money stuff.
9. Collect money from Ex-hubby until he files Chapter 7.
10. Marry hubby's best friend and do it all over again - to Elvis II.
11. Find Elvis III.. . . . .
12. Die at the age of 77.8."

Not to be too fussy, but I think a slight addendum to number 12 is in order. Before dieing at the age of 77.8, gripe continually about "womens health" issues and completely ignore the men's health. Even though men die about five or six years earlier on average than women, they don't count. After all the men are probably happier dead.

You forgot to add number 13, which is that before anyone of the victims (ex-husbands) are dead, be sure to clomp onto their pensions, even though you have contributed NOTHING to it during his working career. After all he was married to you, he should not even be able to retire in peace. Ex-wives deserve to take part of the ex-husbands retirement, because some of those women had endure horrible conditions. Like having a meal ready once in a while and maybe having to do some laundry.

You also forgot to add number 14, which is to constantly whine about how unfair the world is to women while fulfilling the first 13 goals.
185 posted on 10/14/2005 11:46:39 AM PDT by dbehsman (One Wellstone memorial (rave party) is enough, thank you!)
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To: Oberon
At the funeral, his widow of thirty-odd years said...

Thirty odd years? And I thought putting up with her through pregnancy was tough. I'll bet he wished for just a few normal years.

186 posted on 10/14/2005 11:46:58 AM PDT by Eagle Eye (There ought to be a law against excess legislation.)
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To: ericthecurdog; GreenEggsNHam

You're made for each other. I hope you have fun inflicting yourselves on each other for whatever period you're able to stand it.


187 posted on 10/14/2005 11:47:22 AM PDT by T.Smith
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To: add925

pinging for later when i can print it off (this is going on the wall!)


188 posted on 10/14/2005 11:47:47 AM PDT by chudogg (www.chudogg.blogspot.com)
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To: Night Hides Not
If you lived near Dallas, I would suggest a visit to my church, St. Ann's in Coppell. There are hundreds of strikingly beautiful and vivacious women in my parish, and there are different ministeries, depending upon your age.

Sorry, not near Dallas. I live in Western Kentucky. A very nice place, if you ever get the chance to visit.

What I really need to do is lose about 15-25 lbs and do something about my thinning hair. I think that might help me out a bit.
189 posted on 10/14/2005 11:48:19 AM PDT by JamesP81
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To: Just another Joe

At least you wouldn't have ask "Where's the Beaver"?
ROTFLMAOPIMP!!!!



I kinda like that one myself. :>)


190 posted on 10/14/2005 11:48:19 AM PDT by WKB (If you can't dazzle them with brilliance.. then Baffle them with BS)
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To: GreenEggsNHam
Lighten up, Francis.

Wow. We both drop the 'Stripes' bomb within 20 seconds of each other... scary. I guess fate is pretty smart after all. :)

191 posted on 10/14/2005 11:48:55 AM PDT by ericthecurdog (Do you know what it means...)
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To: ericthecurdog; GreenEggsNHam; ecurbh

Congratulations to you two... Did you meet here?

I met my husband here, and I know of a few others!


192 posted on 10/14/2005 11:49:19 AM PDT by HairOfTheDog (Join the Hobbit Hole Troop Support - http://freeper.the-hobbit-hole.net/)
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To: add925
From the Outlaws @1974

Put another log on the fire.

Cook me up some bacon and some beans.

And go out to the car and change the tyre.

Wash my socks and sew my old blue jeans.

Come on, baby, you can fill my pipe,

And then go fetch my slippers.

And boil me up another pot of tea.

Then put another log on the fire, babe,

And come and tell me why you're leaving me.

193 posted on 10/14/2005 11:50:48 AM PDT by Deaf Smith
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Bookmark


194 posted on 10/14/2005 11:50:50 AM PDT by RATkiller (I'm not communist, socialist, Democrat nor Republican so don't call me names)
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To: T.Smith
You're made for each other. I hope you have fun inflicting yourselves on each other for whatever period you're able to stand it.

Shouldn't you be off somewhere telling that b*tch to shut up and fix you a pot pie?

195 posted on 10/14/2005 11:51:04 AM PDT by ericthecurdog (Do you know what it means...)
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To: add925

I actually have a homemaking textbook from the early 1900's (forget the year) that has a section with recipes for meals that can be cooking in the woodstove while you clean the barn.


196 posted on 10/14/2005 11:51:22 AM PDT by texas_mrs
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To: HairOfTheDog

Nope. Elsewhere. I infected GreenEggsNHam with FReeperitis.


197 posted on 10/14/2005 11:52:18 AM PDT by ericthecurdog (Do you know what it means...)
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To: Night Hides Not
Perhaps you need some lessons in time managment.......:^)

I homeschool so I"m having to actually TEACH the math to my son - poor kid........

198 posted on 10/14/2005 11:52:42 AM PDT by WhyisaTexasgirlinPA (Prayers for healing and relief from pain for Cowboy...........)
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To: cloud8

rotflmao!!!!

Sounds like lyrics from "Lay Around The Shanty [and put a good buzz on]"

ROTFLMAO!


199 posted on 10/14/2005 11:53:22 AM PDT by Froufrou
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To: Night Hides Not

Oops.....perhaps I need a refresher course in typing........."management"........ lol


200 posted on 10/14/2005 11:54:33 AM PDT by WhyisaTexasgirlinPA (Prayers for healing and relief from pain for Cowboy...........)
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