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"Actually, here is the 2005 version:

When he comes home from work:

1. Serve him with divorce papers.
2. Calmly call the cops ("Officer, he hit me." Wink. Wink.)
3. Calmly ask female (or dumb male) judge for restraining order to keep hubby away from you and children forever.
4. Steal hubby's house, all money and all property in divorce proceeding.
5. Calmly ask female (or dumb male) judge for sole custody.
6. Garnish Ex-hubby's future wages.
7. Shack up with hubby's best friend ("Elvis II").
8. Move to Tim-Buck-To with kids, cat, Ex-hubby's Elvis II and all Ex-hubby's money stuff.
9. Collect money from Ex-hubby until he files Chapter 7.
10. Marry hubby's best friend and do it all over again - to Elvis II.
11. Find Elvis III.. . . . .
12. Die at the age of 77.8."

Not to be too fussy, but I think a slight addendum to number 12 is in order. Before dieing at the age of 77.8, gripe continually about "womens health" issues and completely ignore the men's health. Even though men die about five or six years earlier on average than women, they don't count. After all the men are probably happier dead.

You forgot to add number 13, which is that before anyone of the victims (ex-husbands) are dead, be sure to clomp onto their pensions, even though you have contributed NOTHING to it during his working career. After all he was married to you, he should not even be able to retire in peace. Ex-wives deserve to take part of the ex-husbands retirement, because some of those women had endure horrible conditions. Like having a meal ready once in a while and maybe having to do some laundry.

You also forgot to add number 14, which is to constantly whine about how unfair the world is to women while fulfilling the first 13 goals.

Yes, and I should add a 15.

15. If Ex-hubby has no money, sue any other guy you had relations with for child support for the children you had with Ex-hubby (on the sneaky grounds that anybody you had relations with is equally responsible for any babies you might have had along with way, no matter whether he is the father or not - after all, there is no such thing as a free lunch, so guys shouldn't be able to get away with getting any free tail from us girls!).

DA740

Even though men die about five or six years earlier on average than women, they don't count. After all the men are probably happier dead.

It has long been my view that the reason men die younger than women is that men have to live with women. If this whole lesbian marriage thing takes off and women start having to live with women I believe the women will start dying at the same age men do........

;-)