The Good Wife's Guide (Guys - You're gonna love this)

http://www.gmu.edu/departments/economics/wew/misc/days.doc ^ | 13 May 1955 | Housekeeping Monthly Magazine

[Night Hides Not]

Hopefully, this is something she'll appreciate. Now I just got to find her...

If you lived near Dallas, I would suggest a visit to my church, St. Ann's in Coppell. There are hundreds of strikingly beautiful and vivacious women in my parish, and there are different ministeries, depending upon your age.

As I received the Sacrament of Reconciliation last night, I will proceed no further.

[Just another Joe]

At least you wouldn't have ask "Where's the Beaver"?

ROTFLMAOPIMP!!!!

[WKB]

I am unaware of any FR rule which says: "You can post lies, as long as they're not in Breaking News."



What you need to do is hit the abuse button
and ask the mods to pull the thread.
That is the only way out of this.

[paul51]

You have a lot of nerve to post that list. No brains, but a lot of nerve.

[dbehsman]

"Actually, here is the 2005 version:

When he comes home from work:

1. Serve him with divorce papers.
2. Calmly call the cops ("Officer, he hit me." Wink. Wink.)
3. Calmly ask female (or dumb male) judge for restraining order to keep hubby away from you and children forever.
4. Steal hubby's house, all money and all property in divorce proceeding.
5. Calmly ask female (or dumb male) judge for sole custody.
6. Garnish Ex-hubby's future wages.
7. Shack up with hubby's best friend ("Elvis II").
8. Move to Tim-Buck-To with kids, cat, Ex-hubby's Elvis II and all Ex-hubby's money stuff.
9. Collect money from Ex-hubby until he files Chapter 7.
10. Marry hubby's best friend and do it all over again - to Elvis II.
11. Find Elvis III.. . . . .
12. Die at the age of 77.8."

Not to be too fussy, but I think a slight addendum to number 12 is in order. Before dieing at the age of 77.8, gripe continually about "womens health" issues and completely ignore the men's health. Even though men die about five or six years earlier on average than women, they don't count. After all the men are probably happier dead.

You forgot to add number 13, which is that before anyone of the victims (ex-husbands) are dead, be sure to clomp onto their pensions, even though you have contributed NOTHING to it during his working career. After all he was married to you, he should not even be able to retire in peace. Ex-wives deserve to take part of the ex-husbands retirement, because some of those women had endure horrible conditions. Like having a meal ready once in a while and maybe having to do some laundry.

You also forgot to add number 14, which is to constantly whine about how unfair the world is to women while fulfilling the first 13 goals.

[Eagle Eye]

At the funeral, his widow of thirty-odd years said...

Thirty odd years? And I thought putting up with her through pregnancy was tough. I'll bet he wished for just a few normal years.

[T.Smith]

You're made for each other. I hope you have fun inflicting yourselves on each other for whatever period you're able to stand it.

[chudogg]

pinging for later when i can print it off (this is going on the wall!)

[JamesP81]

If you lived near Dallas, I would suggest a visit to my church, St. Ann's in Coppell. There are hundreds of strikingly beautiful and vivacious women in my parish, and there are different ministeries, depending upon your age.

Sorry, not near Dallas. I live in Western Kentucky. A very nice place, if you ever get the chance to visit.

What I really need to do is lose about 15-25 lbs and do something about my thinning hair. I think that might help me out a bit.

[WKB]

At least you wouldn't have ask "Where's the Beaver"?
ROTFLMAOPIMP!!!!



I kinda like that one myself. :>)

[ericthecurdog]

Lighten up, Francis.

Wow. We both drop the 'Stripes' bomb within 20 seconds of each other... scary. I guess fate is pretty smart after all. :)

[HairOfTheDog]

Congratulations to you two... Did you meet here?

I met my husband here, and I know of a few others!

[Deaf Smith]

From the Outlaws @1974

Put another log on the fire.

Cook me up some bacon and some beans.

And go out to the car and change the tyre.

Wash my socks and sew my old blue jeans.

Come on, baby, you can fill my pipe,

And then go fetch my slippers.

And boil me up another pot of tea.

Then put another log on the fire, babe,

And come and tell me why you're leaving me.

[RATkiller]

Bookmark

[ericthecurdog]

You're made for each other. I hope you have fun inflicting yourselves on each other for whatever period you're able to stand it.

Shouldn't you be off somewhere telling that b*tch to shut up and fix you a pot pie?

[texas_mrs]

I actually have a homemaking textbook from the early 1900's (forget the year) that has a section with recipes for meals that can be cooking in the woodstove while you clean the barn.

[ericthecurdog]

Nope. Elsewhere. I infected GreenEggsNHam with FReeperitis.

[WhyisaTexasgirlinPA]

Perhaps you need some lessons in time managment.......:^)

I homeschool so I"m having to actually TEACH the math to my son - poor kid........

[Froufrou]

rotflmao!!!!

Sounds like lyrics from "Lay Around The Shanty [and put a good buzz on]"

ROTFLMAO!

[WhyisaTexasgirlinPA]

Oops.....perhaps I need a refresher course in typing........."management"........ lol