Posted on 09/26/2005 3:31:18 PM PDT by Rakkasan1
Homeowners who decorate their yards with life-sized plastic deer are complaining the sculptures are being damaged by those stalking real deer during Duluth's special season for bowhunters.
"My decorative doe, Felicity, had an arrow sticking out of her hind quarter," Orval Pussywillow of Hunter's Park complained yesterday. "This has got to stop. We paid good money for our beautiful deer." Pussywillow said his four plastic pink flamingos and a lawn ornament depicting the posterior of a fat woman bending over were unmolested.
(Excerpt) Read more at duluthsuperior.com ...
Randy Waxwing, spokesman for the Lake Superior Spear, Boomerang & Bow- hunters Ltd., said residents with plastic deer in their yards should remove them from now through season's end on Dec. 31 to protect them during the municipal bow-hunting season. "You can't blame our people for shooting plastic deer; they're so life-like. Many of our own members have plastic deer themselves as inspiration for hunting season. Hunters love deer; that's why we kill them."
Thelma Twelvetrees of Thelma's Yard, Garden and Southern Belle Figurine Emporium, which sells ornamental deer, said sales are down since the city bowhunting season was announced. "People don't want to fork over good money for plastic deer only to have them shot full of arrows," she said. It was not known how the decline in faux deer sales would affect city sales tax receipts.
Finally, Professor Michael Angelo, head of the Sculpture and Human Sexuality Department at the Arrowhead College of Carnal Knowledge, said plastic ornamental deer are an important part of American art on a par with department store mannequins. "I once saw a fake deer with a nude female mannequin astride it. Priceless," said Angelo, 43, who is registered with the police.
You have obviously never been to red-neck country. They go hand in hand with the old toilet used as a flower vase! BTW, anyone who named his child Orval should be charged with child abuse. :-)
Randy Waxwing, spokesman for the Lake Superior Spear, Boomerang & Bow- hunters Ltd.,
Finally, Professor Michael Angelo, head of the Sculpture and Human Sexuality Department
Msgr. Ernest X. Chasuble said religious leaders are concerned that fake donkeys in Christmas nativity scenes will be shot at by hunters
Oops. No, Rak, you're the bad one here. Ya'll go read the whole article, ROFLOL.
/Can't read anymore, laughing to hard.
On the plus side, now he has a fancy new toothpick for his remaining teeth.
who is registered with the police.
Are these people rednecks or hobbits?
I know. anything to "stick it" to hunters. the major
MSM media picked up the fake story as if it's real.next will come the funny fonts.
>>>"My decorative doe, Felicity, had an arrow sticking out of her hind quarter,"
Ummmm, yeah.
My guess is there is a hunter with a good sense of humor ;)
I confess, Orval's deer was eating the plastic flowers from my toilet and I just have had it with Orval so I shot his deer. He has a nice fat lady though.
I'm thinking that the standards of journalism have really been slipping at the Duluth News Tribune in the wake of the major media scandals at the New York Times, CBS,etc.
I wasn't quite sure until I reached this paragraph:
"Finally, Professor Michael Angelo, head of the Sculpture and Human Sexuality Department at the Arrowhead College of Carnal Knowledge, said plastic ornamental deer are an important part of American art on a par with department store mannequins. "I once saw a fake deer with a nude female mannequin astride it. Priceless," said Angelo, 43, who is registered with the police."
So9
Ian Fleming's screen writer must have given this town a list of names to use.
May I ask why one would put a painted piece of plywood depicting a woman bending over in a garden? Enquiring minds want to know. Don't get me wrong, I am surrounded by these ornaments, but I have just never understood it. Seriesly! :-)
I'd like to know the history behind that last name.
"...of Hunter's Park..."
Jeez, come on Orval. If you live in Hunter's Park, you've got to expect hunters.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.