You rang?
Posted on 09/22/2005 5:48:16 PM PDT by wagglebee
We hear a lot of talk these days about the need to protect and strengthen the traditional American family. Certainly, it is true that the institution of marriage is under attack from every side. But the real threat comes from the multitudes of couples that fail to honor their marriage vows.
Adultery is one of the most terrible "facts of life" in contemporary America. If you watch the daily soap operas on TV many of which are just soft-core pornography you might get the impression that there are more people cheating on their spouses than remaining faithful. And you might be right.
How many people have affairs? That's hard to say because not everybody will answer honestly. But sex therapist Peggy Vaughan, author of The Monogamy Myth conservatively estimates that about 60 percent of married men and 40 percent of married women will have an affair at some time during their marriage. Maggie Scarf, author of Intimate Partners basically agrees.
Since these books were written more than a decade ago, and since more women are leaving the home and entering the workforce, the number of wives having affairs may also have reached the 60 percent range.
Americans have a schizophrenic attitude toward adultery.
While 90 percent admit that adultery is morally wrong, according to a Time-CNN poll, 50 percent say that President Bill Clinton's morals are "about the same as the average married man." While 35 percent think that adultery should be a crime, 61 percent think it shouldn't.
Having an affair simply doesn't carry the social stigma that it once did.
According to Playboy magazine, 2 out of 3 women and 3 out of 4 men have sexual thoughts about their coworkers, and about the same number follow through on those libidinous impulses.
Why do husbands and wives cheat on their spouses? Psychologists cite subjective issues like loss of love and feelings of alienation. Certainly the media pressure of our sex-saturated society is a significant influence.
But a major factor is the easy availability of cheap and plentiful Internet pornography.
Statistics show that 25 percent of all Internet search engine requests are related to pornography.
According to the National Coalition for the Protection of Children and Families, "approximately 40 million people in the United States are sexually involved with the Internet." And while 76 percent of women feel that phone sex or cyber-sex is the equivalent of committing adultery, only 41 percent of men do.
Dr. Alvin Cooper and MSNBC.com conducted an online poll of 38,000 people, and 10 percent admitted that they were addicted to Internet pornography.
What's more, a lot of those Internet sex addicts eventually progress from cyber-sex to real-time sexual affairs.
Some legal professionals estimate that as many as one-third of all divorces may have their roots in Internet porn or online affairs. "If there's dissatisfaction in the existing relationship, the Internet is an easy way for people to scratch the itch," explains J. Lindsey Short, Jr., president of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers.
The pain and suffering caused by adultery is immense, especially for children. They are more likely never to marry, or to later divorce, if they had divorced or cheating parents. After a divorce, many children are unable ever to develop strong, trusting relationships.
There is a direct correlation between the steady decline of morals and values in America and this more accepting contemporary attitude toward adultery. Part of the reason is because most people have forgotten what a marriage really is.
Marriage is more than just a legal status recognized by the state, or even a temporary social contract between two people.
True marriage is a solemn covenant relationship between a man, a woman and God. It is a hallowed institution that should be revered, cherished, and preserved.
The act of adultery is childish and selfish, and it hurts everyone involved.
It violates at least two of the Ten Commandments: the clear prohibitions against committing adultery and coveting your neighbor's spouse.
If we care about the future of our great nation, we as a people must relearn the virtue and necessity of staying committed to the spouses to whom we are married.
What if they both do?
Oh give me a break! Thinking about something and doing it are 2 different things altogether. How puerile and facile that statement is..
LOL! I'm rechargeable, but not the shake-and-re-use type. ;)
I was married over 20 years to a real bitch, but never cheated on her.
"While 35 percent think that adultery should be a crime"
Yep stone them I say
Sometimes revenge and retribution are best served on a cold platter.
What goes around comes around.
Revenge? The meanest thing you can do to a woman who is leaving you is have a good laugh and act relieved that she is out of your life! ;-)
You rang?
So how much lower was adultry from 1800 to 1990?
...Some legal professionals estimate that as many as one-third of all divorces may have their roots in Internet porn or online affairs.
Was there a 50% jump in divorce from the 1970s to the 1990s?
True, but far to many have forgotten that in a culture of "instant gratification". Hold people to high standards and you will be surprised how often they succeed. Have low or disgusting expectations and those will be met too.
I had a feeling that was exactly the case. My first wife was far from perfect herself, and I'd be lying if I said that at one time I didn't bear her a lot of ill will. However, at this point, I'd more apt to pray for her, than to hope that God settled any petty scores on my account. There are bigger things in this world than me.
Well, one thing for sure. If internet pornography is responsible for all the adultery we know for sure that every Freeper is pure as the driven snow. Freeping does not allow time for surfing for porn. :)
Oh no my friend, not even close, not even remotely close. From experience, the worst thing you can do to your first wife is to marry a woman who's taller, blonder, thinner, bigger chested, and prettier than she is.
Sometimes it seems like everybody in the world is getting laid except me. :(
I always thought it was
"Happiness is the best revenge."
(Or is that C-4? hmmm, need to look that up)
"Having an affair simply doesn't carry the social stigma that it once did.
Therein lies the problem. The left works hard to end the shame associated with any number of issues for that very reason. I say we should embrace disgrace!"
You are absolutely right. All that shinola about porn is actually a leftist argument (ie things cause behaviors not people). The truth is there is no stigma to doing that stuff anymore. We have all been conditioned to believe we can't judge others so people don't have that element of shame to prevent them from doing things.
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