FReeper Canteen~What Makes You Laugh?~July 28, 2005~

July 27, 2005 | bentfeather

[Soaring Feather]

For the freedom you enjoyed yesterday...
Thank the Veterans who served in The United States Armed Forces.

Looking forward to tomorrow's freedom?
Support The United States Armed Forces Today!

Good morning TROOPS!!
What makes you laugh??
Post your funny cartoons, jokes, anything you enjoy!

This one always cracks me up!

You Might Be A Soldier If..

Silly cartoon characters??

What tickles your funny bone??
A good joke, funny cartoons, a practical joker?

Computer humor?

"Why We Love Kids"

I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"

2. HONESTY

My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago."

3. OPINIONS

On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."

4. KETCHUP

A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang, so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said. Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."

5. MORE NUDITY

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"

6. POLICE # 1

While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered and continued writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help, I should ask the police. Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?"

7. POLICE # 2

It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"

8. ELDERLY

While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"

9. DRESS-UP

A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning."

10. DEATH

While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaaaaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he gooooes."

11. SCHOOL

A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk."

12. BIBLE

A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear."

bentfeather

[HopeandGlory]

Hello Kathy . . . no grapes this year . . . but . . . after our 4" rain last week, they're putting out like crazy . . .;-)

[Lady Jag]

Every know of a fish that got seasick?

[Lady Jag]

You must all be having a fabulous time!! Tell them your Massachusetts rep, yours truly sends love from the Bay State!

[EsmeraldaA]

One would think that the stripes were enough

[luvie]

It was a little scary when I was on the loop and trying to find that exit for 191. The rain was so hard I couldn't see the stripes. But it slowed down once I was on the highway. Then when I got to Odessa it was dry as a bone. It moved in on us about 2 hours later.

See everyone later. I have a bible class tonight! (((hugs))) Glad you came to the Canteen!...neighbor!

[Common Tator]

Kinda seemed like there was an emphasis on Elvis.

The musuem had a special display of Elvis when he was in the army. Some of the stuff was on loan from the Elvis estate in Memphis. The Elvis stuff will be there for a few more weeks and then it will be replaced with something else.

I wondered about why they were featuring Elvis. But then it occured to me that real military people have reason to admire Elvis. Elvis spent his two years in the service with no special treatment. He started as an anti tank infantryman armed with 3.5 inch Rocket Launcher. Most entertainers spend their years in the sevive entertaining the brass. But not Elvis.. He was an infantry man that spent the same amount of time in the field as others did. He later got promoted to jeep driver and ended up as a squad leader and E3.

They had a media interview with Elvis on the day he was discharged. He told the reporter that when he went in he decided he was going to do what he was told to do when he was told to do it to the best of his ability. He said once his commanders figured out what he was doing, He had it made.

They had a video of Elvis's company commander. He said he was afraid at first that the other guys in the outfit would not accept Elvis. But when they found out he was quite willing to pull his own weight, he said the guys became quite protective of Elvis. They helped him avoid the media.

I went in a couple of years after Elvis. I was at Knox the same time the Everly Brothers were there. The Everly Brothers spent basic training playing for the brass and sleeping in.

Elvis chose to be an ordinary soldier.

Naturally geting Lisa and her sister to look at tanks whjen they could look at Elvis stuff was a lost cause. Thus most of the pictures are of Elvis stuff.

[GodBlessUSA]

Ut oh, those pigs are going to be cooked by the days end. LOL!

[Zacs Mom]

Hit us with your best shot!!!.....



ROTFLMBO

[GodBlessUSA]

950 :)

[GodBlessUSA]

950 :)

[AZamericonnie]

I don't like brussels sprouts. I am just learning to like broccoli, but I like the stem end and not the leafy end...unlike everyone else I know! I hate asparagus. I like yellow squash and zucchini if it's sauteed - I hate it mushy. I like peppers and I LOVE onions....

I don't like any of them! LOL!

So...I guess it's safe to assume that a nice big glass of wheatgrass juice is out of the question?

[GodBlessUSA]

GBU's Mom Says, Hi back.LOL! :)

[AZamericonnie]

Very interesting Tator...I had heard as much regarding Elvis which is admirable. I had NOT heard that about the Everly brothers. I bet that would cause alot of resentment amongst the troops. Btw...thank you for your service Common Tator!

[HiJinx]

Oh boy, today's thread is about things that make me Happy? Happy babies make me happy, especially if the happy baby is Piper. Although, she's not much of a baby anymore.

She's been sitting here on my lap typing away at the keyboard while I stroll through the Canteen to see what's going on. Every time we stroll past a picture of a baby, she says "BeeBee", just like Ms. B does!

And she is also recognizing fishies, and cats, and puppies!

After we worked in the yard this morning, Piper and Poppa and Daddy all went into the pool and played with squirt guns. Piper got me right between the eyes!

[Lady Jag]

One would think that the stripes were enough

Okay, if you want to be that way . . .

[Lady Jag]

Hi, Piper!

[mcshot]

Bump for later.

mc

[tomkow6]

Well, I GUESS I was missed today....I was missed???

Yeah, RIGHT!  I was missed like a hemorrhoid was missed today.

We had a little celebration at work today.

I was asked to "volunteer", but I responded that ANYBODY who's EVER been the Military knows:

NEVER VOLUNTEER!

Well, I got drafted.....AGAIN!

Click here to see what was going on!

[Lady Jag]

I won't need flames, my pretty, to finish off you and your little dog, too!

[El Gran Salseron]

Thistle is also edible if you cut the thorny things off.