'Cooter' Urges Fans to Skip 'Dukes' Movie

AP ^ | 12 July 2005 | Doug Gross

[oldfarmer]

ATLANTA - If television's "Crazy Cooter" has his way, fans of the "Dukes of Hazzard" may be speeding away from a new movie version of the cornpone classic faster than the Duke boys running from Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane.

Ben Jones, a former Georgia congressman who played the wisecracking mechanic on the popular series from 1979-85, said profanity and sexual content in the film make a mockery of the family friendly show.

"Basically, they trashed our show," said Jones, who now lives in the mountains of Washington, Va. "It's one thing to do whatever movie they want to do, but to take a classic family show and do that is like taking "I Love Lucy" and making her a crackhead or something."

Jones said he read a script of the movie, which is scheduled to be released next month, and that it contained profanity, "constant sexual innuendo and some very clear sexual situations."

[longtermmemmory]

Next month?

I thought this movie had come and bombed already.

Hollyweird could not have made anything modern southern to save their lives.

[Tiger Smack]

Somehow, I just don't think Jessica Simpson will quite be able to fill out Catherine Bach's "Daisy Dukes."

get your eyes checked

[longtermmemmory]

Classy Sexy vs Trashy Sexy.

Catherine Bach's portrayed a sexy woman who you put a ring on her finger.


Jessica Simpson, per her video portrayal, is just someone you promise to call sometime, whenever, maybe.

[yarddog]

Jessica looks better in shorts than most actresses. I don't think she is quite as pretty in the face as Bach tho.

[Mad Mammoth]

I physically broke the DVD in half after seeing the following two scenes: The Cat in the Hat gets an erect tail after seeing a picture of the kids mother and The Cat steps on a garden hoe and says "Dirty Hoe!" But Hey, Mike Myers doesn't have any kids so why should he care?...

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?

I never saw the Cat in the Hat remake, but if I saw what you saw, I would be busting that DVD just like you. It is simply disgusting, not because we can't take a little off-color humor, but these movies are SUPPOSED to be for CHILDREN!

"Mommy, why is the Hoe Dirty?"

Oh thanks Hollywood for THAT.

So far as the remake of the Dukes, I am actually surprised that ol' Cooter is panning the film, since he was just as liberal a 'Rat Congressman as any of them, guess when it's your film "legacy" that's getting stained, you suddenly discover "family values".

Now shifting gears a minute, I want to put in a plug for Mel Gibson: no, not for The Passion of the Christ (which was excellent) but for another overlooked little gem he directed, which was the Three Stooges Movie, released in 2000, and that in my opinion, is one of the most excellent, heartwarming and "feel good" 'remake-pictures' I have seen in many years. Gibson (being a Stooge-fan himself) recruited an excellent cast, with the role of Curly played by Michael Chiklis, and after watching Chiklis portraying Jerome Howard (Curly) for just a moment, Chiklis BECAME Curly, it was as if Chiklis were the original Stooge himself, and his portrayal of Curly *should* have won him an Emmy, it was that good.

Paul Ben-Victor plays Moe, Evan Handler plays Larry Fine, and Shemp is played by Jon Kassir. ALL of them do a fantastic job, true to their characters and you know what?

It is so clean you could put any child in front of it, or your mother, or your aunt, and they would never be offended.

THAT is what I call entertainment. If you haven't seen it, and should have an opportunity to see it, by all means do so.

Of course, it helps if you're already a Three Stooges fan.

(nyuk! nyuk! nyuk!) ;)

[Dr.Zoidberg]

Sorry Patcher, JS may be your idea of eye candy, but she's not my cup of tea. I much prefer the original Daisy. You can call it nostalgia I suppose, but Jessica just seems a very pale imitation of the real McCoy...

[sonofatpatcher2]

Well, Doc, I'm older than dirt (born 1947) and can see your point... However, neither of us is going to make any time with either one.

Win the Lottery and you both can!

Shut up, Bender!

[Dr.Zoidberg]

My eyes are fine Tiger, thanks.

Catherine Bach was able to be sexy without making me want to ask if she's had an AIDS test in the past 2 weeks. Catherine presented the character as someone you could actually take to church without half the congregation (the male half) knowing if she was a natural blonde from previous experience.

Jessica Simpsom 'may' be as wholesome as granola, but Daisy Duke(and the shorts she wears) she isn't.

[Dr.Zoidberg]

However, neither of us is going to make any time with either one.

Brother, ain't it the truth!

But you can't stop a crustacean from dreaming....

[Tiger Smack]

ha! dont worry, they arent marketing this movie to old people who still "hang onto" old episodes nostalgia

[sonofatpatcher2]

Re: "However, neither of us is going to make any time with either one"

However, Leela not only sees me every time I click on my computer, she caters to my every whim...

at the beach...

and on picnics.

Gad, Son... Making whoopee with a cartoon character? Get a life!!!

[Dr.Zoidberg]

I never thought I would ever say this, but for once I agree with the robot.

Go outside, find a nice girl and settle down. You'll be happier if you aren't having to hide the ink stains all over yourself.


Hehehehe

[sonofatpatcher2]

Gad! I've grown to like those ink stains!

BTW Leela gives a much better backrub than my ex-wife...

[Dr.Zoidberg]

I'm just an old (reconfirmed) bachelor crab, as long as you two get along who am I to judge?

Mazel Tov!

[sonofatpatcher2]

Thanks, Doc, that's might red of you. Otherwise I was going to go medieval on you. Give my regards to your Uncle Harold...

And tell Calculon he can Kiss My Shiney Metal A$$!

[Callahan]

Yeah, give the old gal a break. She looks like a Mom. How many girls have shorts named after them?

[Trajan88]

Did not the "old" General Lee have the Confederate flag on the hood?

I saw a clip of the new movie and I did not see one... I guess political correctness strikes again.

I agree with another poster on this thread - why was this movie made? The producers should have just had the car on for 90 minutes and let Jessica Simpson prance and slither around a-la Tawny Kittaen (spelling?).

That's my soapbox rant - please drive through.

[Frank T]

"I saw an ad on a bus for the movie and I saw Luke wearing a Led Zeppelin shirt. I said to myself something is very wrong here. Since when do the good ol' Duke boys like Led Zeppelin?"

Well, Jimmy did play "Dixie" during his guitar solos back in '77 when Zeppelin toured the States.

[JoshGray]

The flag has always been on the roof.

[Conservative til I die]

I physically broke the DVD in half after seeing the following two scenes: The Cat in the Hat gets an erect tail after seeing a picture of the kids mother and The Cat steps on a garden hoe and says "Dirty Hoe!" But Hey, Mike Myers doesn't have any kids so why should he care?...

One critic put it best in their review of the movie: Mike Myers, Asshole in Fur.