[Jet Jaguar]

Just damn?

[nuconvert]

"open only between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m., Monday through Friday. "

Please plan your attempted suicide accordingly.

[Semper Paratus]

"Our office hours are 9 to 5. If this is an emergency..."

[1FASTGLOCK45]

My take on suicide help, If you can't take the punches life gives you, just go down on your own, don't take other people down when you decide to go down in flames.
I'm not cruel with my comments, i just believe that if you can't handle the world of hard knocks, what can you handle?

[softwarecreator]

So now suicidal tendencies only operate during banking hours?  I can see that being possible for liberals, since they have no jobs, but real people must now plan their anguish between 9 -5?

[Nick Danger]

Please listen carefully as our menues have changed.
If you are standing on a ledge, press 1
If you have a gun at your head, press 2
If you have ingested enough pills to kill a moose, press 3
Por Espanol, quatro

Your call is important to us. Please stay on the line.

"And a very high good morning it is to you! Theesuz Pandra, your zuizide counzelor. What is it of you this morning that I can do.

[Lord Basil]

"Hello this is the suicide hotline. Please hold."
(I forget who originally did this.)

[MinuteGal]

Hmmmm, smallest island, $600 (C) per suicide call.....well, if I were a taxpayer there, I'd contemplate suicide, also.

Leni

[G Larry]

Do they answer the phone during their 2 hour lunch?

I HATE getting a busy signal when calling the suicide hotline.

[sweetliberty]

Costs too much? Every place I've ever lived had volunteers working suicide hotlines...often from their own homes. What cost? I worked a crisis hotline when I was in college. I never got these kinds of calls during the day.

[elli1]

''One of the things I was hearing is the government felt there weren't enough suicide-related calls,'' Wright said.

Just hang on a bit. Canadian immigration is still processing the papers of all the depressed libs from the States.

[mc5cents]

The scene in that Burt Reynolds flick "The End" comes to mind where he gets put on hold with musiak playing when he calls the hotline. That was a funny movie. See it if you haven't yet.

[nonliberal]

Van Halen's Jump will play while you are on hold.

[CzarNicky]

Suicide hotline to open only from 9 to 5

The suicide hotline people don't get a lunch break. Canada has truly hit rock bottom to treat its workers like this.

[No Truce With Kings]

" A Canadian province will shut its 24-hour suicide hotline and replace it with one that operates only during business hours."

Dare I say it?

Yeah.

Just nuts!

[Doohickey]

1400 calls from 50 nutjobs? That's 28 calls per kook. Also C$600 per lunatic per year to operate (about $.35 US). Sounds like it would have been cheaper to issue instructions...

[HereInTheHeartland]

Sounds like a job for an Indian call center.

[JasonC]

Hello, you have reached the suicide hotline. To be told nobody cares, press 1. To be frustrated by a useless call-menu tree, press 2. For frustration in Spanish, press 3. If this is an emergency, drop dead.

[N. Theknow]

Hello. You have reached the Suicide Hotline.

Press 1 for English.

Our regular office hours are from 9AM to 5PM.

Please note that our menu options have changed.

For poisoning Press 1.

For shooting press 2(sub-menu for shooting has: For handgun press 1; For shotgun press 2, For black powder press 3)

For hanging Press 3.

For overdose Press 4.(Sub menu for overdoes lists: For drug names beginning with A-M Press 1, For drug names beginning with N-Z Press 2.)

[NRA1995]

"Your call is important to us........"