[Nick Danger]

Please listen carefully as our menues have changed.
If you are standing on a ledge, press 1
If you have a gun at your head, press 2
If you have ingested enough pills to kill a moose, press 3
Por Espanol, quatro

Your call is important to us. Please stay on the line.

"And a very high good morning it is to you! Theesuz Pandra, your zuizide counzelor. What is it of you this morning that I can do.

[Liberal Classic]

This is Canada, so option 4 would be:

Pour le Français, pression quatre