Kudos to Stellar Dendrite.
Posted on 05/18/2005 9:04:26 PM PDT by CHARLITE
Finally, liberals have a slogan that A) rhymes and B) is actually true: "Newsweek Lied, People Died!"
So you can imagine my surprise to find out conservatives are the only ones saying it.
Where's the liberal outrage over the deaths of at least 17 innocent people, thanks to the bogus Newsweek report that American interrogators flushed copies of the Koran down the toilet?
Where are the scores of foul-smelling leftist hippies screeching, "Newsweek Lied, People Died!?"
Newsweek has since retracted the story after a 5 year-old child demonstrated for them the impossibility of flushing any kind of book down the toilet.
Now, the magazine claims to have made a simple mistake. Not real comforting to the families of the dead.
I have heard a lot of BS in my interaction with the Left, but the idea that a major magazine publication like Newsweek does not know it's impossible to flush a book down a toilet takes the cake.
Seriously, try flushing any book down the toilet and see what happens.
For example: My Life, by Bill Clinton is so thick, it won't even fit in the bowl. It Takes A Village might smell better than it did before you flushed, but alas, it still rises back to the top. Michael Moore's Stupid White Men is also a stubborn floater.
Which basically leaves two theories about why Newsweek actually bought this lie.
One, the magazine has some kind of Tim “The Tool Man" Taylor Super-Toilet, complete with its own internal combustion engine and capable of devouring any book their editors disagree with.
In that case, Newsweek's septic tank is likely filled with copies of the Constitution, the Holy Bible, and the complete works of Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh--all victims of this mutant, ‘Super Toilet.’
I can hear the promo now: "Our toilet slices, our toilet dices, our toilet even makes Julian Fries!
I demand to see the toilet capable of devouring an entire book. In fact, I would buy a copy of Dude, Where's My Country?, just to watch it go down the pot.
Of course, the more likely explanation is that Newsweek—like a toilet with remnants of My Life and Stupid White Men floating in the bowl—is simply full of crap.
I know how much a lot of liberals hate America. I know liberals who would trade thousands of American lives just to be able to defeat President Bush on any given issue.
But it’s still hard to believe that in a time of war it would be so important to cast America in an evil light, that an American magazine would knowingly publish a lie that would anger even the most self-respecting Muslim?
Liberals can't seem to get it through their heads that Muslims in the Middle East aren't like Christians in America. Muslims don't stand for people assaulting their religion. While Christians constantly allow their right to religious freedom to be challenged, Muslims will fight to the death over such things.
Militant Islam never turns the other cheek.
The editors and staff at Newsweek have earned an all-expense paid trip to Guantanamo Bay, where interrogators should give them hourly demonstrations of what actually happens when garbage gets flushed down the toilet.
That's a lot of copies of Newsweek.
About the Writer: Matthew Holmes is a North Carolina based columnist. His articles have been featured in the North Carolina Conservative, ChronWatch.Com, World Net Daily.Com, News Max.Com, Opinion Editorials.Com, and other media outlets. He can be reached at blade729@msn.com
rofl ! good one !
Newsweek lied, people died. Oh well.
1 posted on 05/14/2005 1:02:56 AM EDT by mcenedo [ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies | Report Abuse ]
Good post.
Good boy.
Newsweek is (was) elite media- Mainstream media- and they are dying a very deserved death. The internet, blogs, talk radio, and, of course, Free Republic, have DOOMED ABC, CBS, NBC, NY times, and all of these other liberal idiot publications- AND they are garbage now.
Kudos to Stellar Dendrite.
bttt
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.