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Mr. Language Person: True Quotations (Dave Barry)
Miami Herald ^
| Dave Barry
Posted on 05/08/2005 6:42:55 AM PDT by nuconvert
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To: MARTIAL MONK
21
posted on
05/08/2005 8:06:19 AM PDT
by
nuconvert
(No More Axis of Evil by Christmas ! TLR) [there's a lot of bad people in the pistachio business])
To: squarebarb
Which I don't have a clue.
22
posted on
05/08/2005 8:07:41 AM PDT
by
nuconvert
(No More Axis of Evil by Christmas ! TLR) [there's a lot of bad people in the pistachio business])
To: nuconvert
The punctualization of Dave Barry.
To: Graymatter
One of my favorites: "As I say...."
24
posted on
05/08/2005 9:25:26 AM PDT
by
Louis Foxwell
(LIAR, LIAR, PANTS ON FIRE)
To: Graymatter
Let's hope he comes back and punctualizes some more real soon.
25
posted on
05/08/2005 9:30:48 AM PDT
by
nuconvert
(No More Axis of Evil by Christmas ! TLR) [there's a lot of bad people in the pistachio business])
To: MARTIAL MONK
If you're a gonna go ta the Post Orfice, kin you taken me an' Clem? Post Orfice:
26
posted on
05/08/2005 10:14:50 AM PDT
by
Erasmus
(When it rattles by my window, the Chicago "L" annoys.)
To: nuconvert
Q: According to alert reader Mary Ann van Hartesveldt, what was the exact wording on a sign she saw outside the Ridgecrest Baptist Church in Opelika, Ala.?
A: It was: ARE YOU READY TO MEET JESUS? Bar-B-Q Saturday, March 16, 2 p.m. Signs are the best. Unlike spoken words, the hilarity is there to be seen again and again. My all-time favorite sign (and as Mr. Barry himself would say, "I am not making this up" -- I actually saw it) was about 15 or 20 years ago, in a somewhat seedy section of downtown Charlotte which had, to that point, escaped gentrification.
There was a little convenience store which sold sundries, cigarettes, newspapers, beer, and I'm sure cheap fortified wine such as Night Train. They also offered a service, as indicated by this sign in the window: "EARS PIERCED WHILE YOU WAIT." Do you suppose they would have provided drop-off and delivery service for Vincent Van Gogh?
27
posted on
05/08/2005 10:52:00 AM PDT
by
southernnorthcarolina
(UNC Tar Heels: NCAA Basketball Champions 1957/1982/1993/2005)
To: nuconvert
28
posted on
05/08/2005 6:15:13 PM PDT
by
F14 Pilot
(Democracy is a process not a product)
To: Condor51
Try reading what you posted. S-L-O-W-L-Y.
And no sudden moves, please. Like posting again.
29
posted on
05/08/2005 6:16:06 PM PDT
by
LibertarianInExile
(The South will rise again? Hell, we ever get states' rights firmly back in place, the CSA has risen!)
To: nuconvert
My question is, who underrates these people?
Just look for the UL. sticker, it says Underraters Laboratory.
30
posted on
05/08/2005 6:22:42 PM PDT
by
tet68
( " We would not die in that man's company, that fears his fellowship to die with us...." Henry V.)
To: southernnorthcarolina
"Signs are the best."
Yeah, like my college library. Huge letters, carved in stone, "Enter here the timeless fellowship of the human spirit."
Then below that, much smaller, "Use other door."
31
posted on
05/09/2005 12:53:57 AM PDT
by
dsc
To: nuconvert
32
posted on
05/10/2005 9:33:59 AM PDT
by
Boxsford
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