Mr. Language Person: True Quotations (Dave Barry)

Miami Herald ^ | Dave Barry

[nuconvert]

Oh, like I'm fer sher

[nuconvert]

Which I don't have a clue.

[Graymatter]

The punctualization of Dave Barry.

[Louis Foxwell]

One of my favorites: "As I say...."

[nuconvert]

Let's hope he comes back and punctualizes some more real soon.

[Erasmus]

If you're a gonna go ta the Post Orfice, kin you taken me an' Clem?

Post Orfice:

[southernnorthcarolina]

Q: According to alert reader Mary Ann van Hartesveldt, what was the exact wording on a sign she saw outside the Ridgecrest Baptist Church in Opelika, Ala.?

A: It was: ARE YOU READY TO MEET JESUS? Bar-B-Q Saturday, March 16, 2 p.m.

Signs are the best. Unlike spoken words, the hilarity is there to be seen again and again. My all-time favorite sign (and as Mr. Barry himself would say, "I am not making this up" -- I actually saw it) was about 15 or 20 years ago, in a somewhat seedy section of downtown Charlotte which had, to that point, escaped gentrification.

There was a little convenience store which sold sundries, cigarettes, newspapers, beer, and I'm sure cheap fortified wine such as Night Train. They also offered a service, as indicated by this sign in the window: "EARS PIERCED WHILE YOU WAIT." Do you suppose they would have provided drop-off and delivery service for Vincent Van Gogh?

[F14 Pilot]

BUMP

[LibertarianInExile]

Try reading what you posted. S-L-O-W-L-Y.

And no sudden moves, please. Like posting again.

[tet68]

My question is, who underrates these people?

Just look for the UL. sticker, it says Underraters Laboratory.

[dsc]

"Signs are the best."

Yeah, like my college library. Huge letters, carved in stone, "Enter here the timeless fellowship of the human spirit."

Then below that, much smaller, "Use other door."

[Boxsford]

thanks so much!