Posted on 05/04/2005 10:36:55 AM PDT by rface
Ajai Raj, was arrested at the Ann Coulter speech - here's a previous article written by the wack-job...
Let me begin by saying I had a pretty restful spring break. Nothing exciting- funds were low all around, and no one I knew could afford a road trip, so I went back home, hung around my house wearing boxers and aviator sunglasses, and smoked joints in the backyard. I hung out with a few old friends, and come Friday night, I headed back to Austin where I looked forward to a night of mid-grade revelry and sleeping in my dorm bed.
The Pigf#*king Establishment had other plans. My roommate and I were awakened at 3 A.M. by two grinning Austin Police Department officers and a greasy-haired fat f@ck of an RA who gets his jollies by hanging around with his thumb in his ass until he smells marijuana so he can inform the Justice League in exchange for a free raffle ticket. No shit as the cops cuffed me for having an ounce of grass, this f&cker got a chance to win a free microwave. Or to s*ck off a sheriff, as far as I know or care.
I would go on at length about the bust, but lets suffice it to say that I was too tired to think, and thinking is essential to prevent arrest. This will not happen again. On my way out, I passed by my friends Jeff and Nick. This proved fortunate down the line.
I was led in handcuffs into a waiting room full of crazy yelling degenerates, wife beaters, whores, thieves, and contemptible crying c%nts whose lives were obviously over because they had been led to a police station. Over the next several hours, my clothes were taken from me and replaced with black-and-white striped pajamas, my balls were fondled by leering criminals posing as representatives of justice, and I got the opportunity to sleep in awkward positions in several exciting locales. I was told I would wait for a short while to move on to the next stage of the process, and then made to sit around for hours while eavesdropping on conversations about armed robberies and vehicular assaults.
When me and the motley members of my cell block were led in front of a judge, I learned that, according to our justice system, a straight-A college kid holding a bag of weed is as bad a criminal as a guy who beats his wife and kid. I learned that in Texas, a cop can decide to arrest you for no reason at all and you can sit in jail for 72 hours before youre even charged with a crime. I learned that, in Travis County jail at least, you get as many phone calls as you likeas long as youre not calling a cell phone or a landline outside of Travis county. And you can call any one of a number of bail bondsmen to help you out with your $1500 bail, except that half the numbers dont work and the other half will be answered by assholes who wont help out anyone under 21. I learned that every single cop in this God-forsaken county thinks hes the King of Sh!t Mountain, and that they missed their chance to be comedic wunderkinds. It takes a real man to make fun of a guy whos in a futile situation and has nothing to do but take your sh!t. Why not push over a guy with crutches and have a real laugh riot?
So, having nothing on my hands but my dignity and a jail cell, I spent the next ten hours or so catching fitful sleep full of decidedly unpleasant dreams. I never really got around to worrying about my situation. I had plenty of reason tofor starters, I had a paper due Monday that Id yet to begin, and if I get a drug convictionwhoops!there goes my financial aid. My waking hours were filled with musings about Jeff and Nick busting me out of this place, guns blazing. Knowing them, I knew theyd do something, but I didnt know what. My hands were tied, so I waited.
Round 7 P.M., the officer in chargea man with lofty notions about the free world and a penchant for passing out baloney sandwiches like nobodys businessknocked on my door.
Raj! he said. Theres someone here to see you!
I went out to one of the meeting rooms, where a man who looked like Al Borland from Home Improvement was sitting on the other side of a plastic window.
Ajai?
Thats me.
Jeff and Nick sent me. Im Thad Thomason, your attorney.
Success!
My spirits perked up in a hurry. To make an already abbreviated story even more so, my attorney says he can get the charges dismissed. The law is sticking all kinds of fingers in my a$$hole right now, but with a few savvy business deals, I can plow through this shit and come out smelling like roses. Ironic, reallyto get out of this drug charge, Im forced to arrange bigger drug deals than I ever intended to. Cest la vie, non?
To quote the late, great John Lennon, life is what happens while youre busy making plans. While were at it, I do indeed get by with a little help from my friends.
-Ajai out
Texas again bump
Now all he'll need is to wait for the Inca Monkey God to hand him the manuscript, and for someone to translate his simple but beautiful language.
And he's stupid enough to post about it on the Internet, to boot.
Seems like little Mr. Droopy Drawers has quite a bit of growing up left to do.
So, he's going to be a snitch for the man! I bet his friends will love finding this out!
Thanks, Dilbert. :-)
To quote my buddy Bob Allen, "You cannot be this f**king stupid!"
What to write is always a problem for a wet-behind-the-ears aspiring author. "Write what you know" is the usual guidance. So if what you know is petty crime, degeneracy, and narcing for The Man, well...
If the University of Texas has only 15 people like him on campus, I'd say they're doing quite well. Every college campus in the world has this hardcore of 10-15 people whose entire lives are dedicated to the disruption all that most people find civil and appropriate. They alone feel they must impose their will and demands on everybody else as though they alone have rights and privileges; that is their understanding of how the world works -- largely as a result of faulty upbringing and poor selection of friends, peers and role-models, otherwise, why would they choose those 10-15 other worst case losers.
Obviously, these people will never get their 15 minutes in any other legitimate way except by farting or defecating in public. What puzzles me is why mainstream writers look up to such people -- and write about their heroics as though that's what they want to grow up to be.
LOL! This joker isn't fit to carry Hunter S. Thompson's pill bottles.
looks like Paul Stanley from Kiss....
That's funny:.:) When I saw his photo in #31 I thought he looked like Arlo Guthrie in "Alice's Restaurant". Of course, we're not old or anything....:)
So is that his first career promotional event?
Usually such writing talents vandalize their own apartments and cars, demanding the newspapers and television stations send a reporter -- claiming some white supremecist organization burned all their manuscripts because of their expose on the inner workings of the High Klansman.
The newspaper falls for it every time.
bttt
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