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IT'S ONLY FUNNY UNTIL SOMEONE LOSES A PIE(Ann Coulter)
AnnCoulter.com ^ | April 13, 2005 | Ann Coulter

Posted on 04/13/2005 4:18:34 PM PDT by perfect stranger

Liberals enjoy claiming that they are intellectuals, thrilled to engage in a battle of wits. This, they believe, distinguishes them from conservatives, who are religious fanatics who react with impotent rage to opposing ideas. As one liberal, Jonathan Chait, put the cliche in The New Republic: Bush is an "instinctive anti-intellectual" and his administration hostile to "fact-driven debate." In a favorable contrast, Clinton is "the former Rhodes scholar who relished academic debates." Showing his usual reverence for fact-checking, The New York Times' Paul Krugman says the Republican Party is "dominated by people who believe truth should be determined by revelation, not research."

I'm not sure how these descriptions square with the fact that liberals keep responding to conservative ideas by throwing food. (Remember the good old days when liberals' "fact-driven" ideas only meant throwing money at their problems?)

Last October, two liberals responded to my speech at the University of Arizona — during question and answer, no less — by charging the stage and throwing two pies at me from a few yards away. Fortunately for me, liberals not only argue like liberals, they also throw like girls. (Apologies in advance to the Harvard biology professors who walked out on Larry Summers in a demonstration of their admiration of "research," not "revelation" — but this may account for the dearth of female pitchers in Major League Baseball.)

Unfortunately for them, Republican men don't react favorably to two "Deliverance" boys trying to sucker-punch a 110-pound female in a skirt and heels. The geniuses ended up with bloody noses and broken bones.

It's really outrageous how conservatives respond to liberals who are just trying to engage in a "fact-driven debate." How typical of Republicans to go on the offensive just because a female has been physically attacked. Instead of capturing and subduing my attackers, those strong Republican men should have been trying to understand why they threw the pies.

In the five months following the liberal ass-whupping in Arizona — I mean "fact-driven debate" — all was quiet on the Eastern Front. College liberals still couldn't formulate a coherent argument, but they seemed to want to avoid ending up in jail having to explain to their cellmates that they were in for trying to hit a girl (and missing).

Then on March 19, all charges were dismissed against the "Deliverance" boys — including a felony charge for $3,000 worth of damage to school property. Inexplicably, this outcome did not instantly lead to widespread rioting and looting in South Central Los Angeles.

Democrat Barbara LaWall is the Pima County attorney who allowed the liberal debate champions to walk. LaWall brags on her Web site about "holding criminals accountable." She didn't say anything about liberals, however. Be forewarned, conservatives: Do not expect the law to protect you in Pima County.

In the three weeks following the dismissal of all charges against my attackers, three more conservatives were attacked on college campuses.

On March 29, liberals' intellectual retort to a speech by William Kristol at Earlham College was to throw a pie. On March 31, liberals enjoyed the hurly-burly of political debate with Pat Buchanan at Western Michigan University by throwing salad dressing. On April 6, liberals engaged David Horowitz on his ideas at Butler University by throwing a pie at him.

If you close your eyes, it's almost like you're listening to Ludwig Wittgenstein!

If there had been that many attacks on Muslims in the weeks following the 9/11 attack, we'd still be watching Showtime specials about it. (In liberals' defense, this is what they must resort to when there are no student newspapers with conservative editorials to burn.)

At the risk of provoking one of those brainy liberals to throw more food, here's an idea: In order to reduce physical assaults on conservative speakers, maybe we should increase the price. But, to the contrary, when conservative speakers are physically attacked on college campuses, university administrators ignore the attacks, Democrat prosecutors somehow manage to get the charges dismissed, and Democrat flacks like Chait and Krugman pretend they missed the news that day.

What might work better is some form of disincentive to liberals who engage in violent behavior whenever they hear an idea they don't like but can't come up with words to dispute. The punishment doesn't have to be severe — just a small fraction of the wailing and healing that occurs every time there's a hoax "hate crime" on a college campus. (But which still serve a valuable function by calling attention to the issue of hate crimes.)

Last year, classes were canceled and demonstrations held at Claremont College after a white, Catholic visiting professor claimed her car had been vandalized with racist and anti-Semitic slurs. This — at the very moment she was giving a talk on intolerance!

It was just a little too ironic. The incident had all the exquisite timing of an "ABC After-School Special" about hate crimes. But as one student angrily told the Los Angeles Times, the suggestion that it was a hoax is "so sick. They are in denial. People don't want to accept that a well-educated, liberal community can have hate." Needless to say, the vandalism turned out to have been perpetrated by the professor herself.

Or maybe physical attacks on conservatives could merit a small slice of the rage and indignation directed at the display of racist symbols. Last year, a white student at a high school in Washington State was accused of taunting a black student with a noose. In response, the white student was immediately expelled from school. He was charged with a felony. There was a series of town-wide discussions. The U.S. Justice Department sent in mediators. And two more years were suddenly added to Whoopi Goldberg's career.

I think Kristol, Buchanan, Horowitz and I would be perfectly happy if college liberals merely brandished symbols at us. Speaking for myself, I would be unhappy if they didn't. But these Rhodes scholar geniuses with a taste for "fact-driven debate" can't even achieve the level of argument practiced by the average juvenile delinquent. They're still stuck at the intellectual level of 2-year-olds in high chairs throwing food.

COPYRIGHT 2005 ANN COULTER


TOPICS: Constitution/Conservatism; Culture/Society; Government; Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: academicbias; academicviolence; anncoulter; buchanan; campusbias; collegebias; culturewars; girliemen; horowitz; kristol; lefties; liberals; pie; universitybias
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To: perfect stranger

Looks like a wanted poster for couple of boy buggers.


41 posted on 04/13/2005 4:57:50 PM PDT by rockthecasbah
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To: perfect stranger

Wonder if putting tossing food at a conservative speaker on a resume would get one a tenured professorship at a university these days.

:-)


42 posted on 04/13/2005 4:58:48 PM PDT by SteveH (First they ignore you. Then they laugh at you. Then they fight you. Then you win.)
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To: speedy
I think Helen Thomas would be perfectly highlighted with some Beef Wellington dripping off of that schnozz.

Well, the problem is that relatively few Americans heard of these physical attacks on conservative speakers.

However, a reciprocal attack on Helen Thomas would be close to front page news everywhere.

It's not going to happen, but it's going to be far bigger news if a liberal is on the receiving end.

43 posted on 04/13/2005 4:59:01 PM PDT by Dog Gone
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To: perfect stranger

You're right, it would be a waste of perfectly good food. Maybe a Ring Ding on that scary kisser would be a better choice.


44 posted on 04/13/2005 4:59:31 PM PDT by speedy
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To: Dog Gone

I know you're right. But it sure would provide an interesting night of commentary here at FR.


45 posted on 04/13/2005 5:03:43 PM PDT by speedy
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To: John Lenin

Where is the Coulter obligatory photo of her holding her 9mm Beretta?


46 posted on 04/13/2005 5:07:47 PM PDT by Cobra64 (Babes should wear Bullet Bras - www.BulletBras.net)
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To: proud American in Canada

For sure, I'm willing to bet the girl-like throwers are also metrosexuals.


47 posted on 04/13/2005 5:10:11 PM PDT by WV Mountain Mama (Special shout to my 3 year old, who can now ride his bike without training wheels!)
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To: rdb3
I wish she would have put the pimp hand down on whoever had that pie.

Translate, please; I don't speak ghetto-trash dialect.

48 posted on 04/13/2005 5:11:35 PM PDT by Hank Rearden (Never allow anyone who could only get a government job attempt to tell you how to run your life.)
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To: perfect stranger
Can she do anything to pursue this as a Federal hate crime since the state dropped the ball on her assailants?
49 posted on 04/13/2005 5:18:10 PM PDT by A CA Guy (God Bless America, God bless and keep safe our fighting men and women.)
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To: perfect stranger

Next time Ann, EAT the pie...


50 posted on 04/13/2005 5:21:35 PM PDT by null and void (If you torture the data enough, it will confess...)
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To: Fiat volvntas tva

I'll second that one.


51 posted on 04/13/2005 5:28:38 PM PDT by rodguy911 (rodguy911:First Let's get rid of the UN and the ACLU,..toss in CAIR as well.)
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To: perfect stranger
Uhhhhhh Bevis, that guy broke my arm when I threw the pie.
I know Butthead he kicked my ass too!
52 posted on 04/13/2005 5:31:10 PM PDT by rodguy911 (rodguy911:First Let's get rid of the UN and the ACLU,..toss in CAIR as well.)
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To: ken21

I live in Tucson. Yes, there are a lot of leftist wackos here. I run into them quite frequently. But we have a decent number of conservatives too, even if we are the minority.

Great place to practice kicking liberal ass, though.


53 posted on 04/13/2005 5:34:33 PM PDT by JillValentine
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To: perfect stranger

Who are these two Nazis?


54 posted on 04/13/2005 5:36:01 PM PDT by mlmr (The Culture of Death will get a lot more deadly before it's done.)
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To: perfect stranger

It is nice to see what they looked like...before the Conservative Rebuttal.


55 posted on 04/13/2005 5:39:07 PM PDT by Redleg Duke (Don't let Terri's death be in vain!)
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To: jwalsh07
There is no doubt in my mind that Ann Coulter could kick Paul Krugmans ass.

I would buy tickets to see that.

56 posted on 04/13/2005 5:40:49 PM PDT by Rocky
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To: smoothsailing

That is a GREAT graphic!!!!!!!!!!!

57 posted on 04/13/2005 5:41:21 PM PDT by rlmorel
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Comment #58 Removed by Moderator

To: jwalsh07

Buy that Lady a Steak!!

What a miserable time to be a Dinocrat? Far removed from their glory days when America was on it’s knees during their Vietnam War they are being proven absolutely wrong in Iraq. America is back stronger than ever, proving once again if you can keep the Liberals away from the controls, the military will win wars. If the current crop of Pacifists were in control in WWII we would be speaking either German or Japanese. Crazy Uncle Ted’s dad Joe Kennedy wanted us to appease Hitler during the Battle of Britain over the objections of his two eldest son’s. Thank God, we have a President who is a leader and a visionary on the level of Reagan.

While the Nattering Nabobs continue to scream quagmire and Peace w/o Honor, the military just keeps their eye on the ball and continues to roll. The American Military has done more in 24 months bringing about Freedom to a Country than any of these critics have in the past 5 decades. This has been by far the most amazing feat in the history of the world.

Watching a commentator this morning ask a question to an ex-Colonel who recently returned from Iraq asked how the morale of our troops was. You could tell by the expression and tone he was waiting to hear about the loss of morale during the past few months. The Colonel however said it was at an all time high because these young men knew they were making a real difference. The interviewers life ended right there. He went further and said during Nam he would ask what they wanted most right now and it was to go home as soon as possible. These men however wanted to stay and finish the job. This braindead Kerryite was destroyed.

Oh how miserable it is to be a Rat right now? The economy is growing. The PLO is talking to those Zionist Expansionists and the death rate in Iraq is going through the floor. They predicted 1-5 years to conquer Saddamn, it took 21 days. They predicted 10,000 deaths minimum before it was conquered, we’ve lost 1500. They predicted a quagmire for decades, it took 24 months. What is left for them to cheer about? The death of an innocent girl, whoopie! All that is left for them to sink further in their quagmire is for the Stone Age Press to begin questioning their colossal failures. You could make a very good living in Vegas betting against these Anti-Americans’ predictions.

These are the same people who said that Communism was not a murderous form of gummit, that the War on Poverty could be won with enough money and that the UNron was a more efficient form of World gummit. They said that the voters in El Salvador would vote for their propped up Commies, Medicare and SSI were solvent and lower taxes would absolutely kill the economy. They said that there would be tens of thousands of American deaths in the quagmires of Trashcanistan and Iwreck. Their Chrystal Bull said the Middle East street would explode. They have been so wrong so often on so many issues that the only question that needs to be asked is, why anyone accepts anything they predict??

They have had their collective pinheads handed to them by a Country Bumpkin Texas Yahoo with relative ease. How depressing must that be?? They have used a confluence between their geniuses in the Ivory Covered Towers, the Stone Age Press snobs and Hilarycare Rob’em Clinton who’s collective IQ’s must be in the hundreds being beaten by a guy who’s idea of classical music is Waylon Jennings Sr?? You must feel their pain.

The future is bright for America and Iraq. We have a full head of steam behind us and a steady hand on the wheel. The Republican Party still has a ways to go on a number of issues, but when it comes to our reaction to Terrorism we have been steller. We understand that if you are going to War you put the best military minds in the Histoir of the planet in charge and stay out of the way. This is something the other side will never understand or allow and will keep them as permanent members on the Trash Heap of History.

Pray for W and Our Freedom Marching Troops


59 posted on 04/13/2005 5:42:48 PM PDT by bray (Iraq, freed from Saddamn now Pray for Freedom from Mohammad)
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To: perfect stranger

The otherwise unmentionable v-dare site is running a picture of Bryanna Bevens (one of their writers) for a fund raising gimmic, other than the picture of a great looking woman I wouldn't give them the time of day.


60 posted on 04/13/2005 5:43:58 PM PDT by junta ("Racism" a word invented so as to allow morons access to the political debate.)
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