Posted on 03/16/2005 3:28:28 AM PST by MississippiMasterpiece
The high percentage of marriages that end in divorce has created a new trend; many men are planning financially for their divorce before they even get married.
A recent survey conducted by the Indiana Family Institute (IFI) found that 79% of men who are engaged to be married worry that their marriage will end in divorce and they will be ruined financially. As a result, more than half of these men admitted to setting up secret nest eggs in case their fears become reality.
“Some people believe this is the height of pessimism, but to me it makes perfect sense,” says Dr. Phillip Haus, director of the study, “Many of these men are professionals who have worked hard for their success and don’t want to start from scratch if the woman they marry turns out to be a total witch to live with.”
Haus says the most common way engaged men plan for the worst is by setting up a savings account in the name of a relative they trust who has had a long, sound marriage so their funds will be safe. This way once the joint assets are divided after a divorce, they will have a little something extra to fall back on.
“Let’s face it,” added Haus, “The man is the one who almost always get screwed over when a divorce occurs. Even though he usually made more money than the woman in the marriage, he loses the house, and ends up paying child support since the woman will get custody of their offspring. This new trend just provides him with a little insurance so he can enjoy a decent standard of living.”
Some men go to even greater lengths to secure their futures. “We had a few cases where engaged men told us they gave a good portion of their belongings to friends or relatives for safe keeping. One man admitted buying a house in his gay cousin’s name so he would have a place to live if things didn’t work out. This shows the sad state of relationships and the impact of divorce in this country.”
Haus believes the trend of setting up divorce nest eggs will continue. “As long as there is divorce, there will be people trying to beat the system.”
A better way is to create a separate IRA or 401K account, contribute to it while single, then stop contributing completely before being married... then it will grow and it is never commingled into the assets.
all interesting and good ideas. However,you should first check to determine whether your state is a 'community property' state or not.
The laws are different, and vary specifically according, so what works in one state, may not work in another.
I can understand getting a prenup or postnup. It's like fire insurance...you hope to never need it, but it's there if you do. And it's done with the knowledge and consent of both parties.
I cannot imagine being so cynical about marriage and about my future spouse that I'd do something like this! I'm getting married next month and if I discovered my husband did something like this I'd be livid.
What's so bad about expecting to be the one with a "long, sound marriage"?
My solution is this: Know who you're getting married to, and if you have any doubts like this, don't get married.
Sounds pretty good to me. Instead of all of those self-help books and marriage counseling, there should be some classes on how men can keep some their money.
For those who don't know, the "Hoosier Gazette" is kind of a local version of "The Onion". Not quite as funny for non-Hoosiers who don't always get the in-State jokes.
Was onced divorced. Advise..any money on the outside has two times value in split(if you see it coming)..I had a nice pile of 100's by the time it finally hit. Plus buy a second house..that way you get one.
It is indeed cynical but understandable. I'm a female and I've been married for fourteen years now. I've seen my hubby's friends get royally screwed over by their ex wives. One particular friend was forced to move back in with his parents because he couldn't afford to pay rent on an apartment due to the amount of money he has to fork out every month to his ex wife. Very sad and very unfair.
Been married 42 years, Long enough to know the basic principals of marriage are love and trust.
How can anyone trust a person who has secretly salted away funds for a divorce. My advice is if you dont trust the woman you are marrying , dont marry her.
Never , ever let a good piece of tail enter your thoughts of marriage. too many men think with the little head. Marriage is a lot more than sex.
If you are thinking about divorce before you get married, then you probably shouldn't get married.
This is always a good idea. State laws vary but a good rule of thumb is to assume all you aquire before is yours and ANYTHING after the marriage is 1/2 exposed to a claim.
Simply not co mingling is no protection (particularly in community property states). Pension funds are subject to QDRO orders which divide the increase of the pension during the course of the marriage.
Of course it is still the story that men do not claim against the woman's assets. You should see the shock in a womans face when she realizes the pension fund she built up at the expense of her soontobeexehusband is only 1/2 hers. Men are only now realizing they do have rights during the marriage and women are realizing that playing fast and loose with information can not work against a forensic accountant.
Jennifer Tilly, where are you when we need you.
Good idea, read the rules on community property that apply, and if necessary, move to another state where the rules are more friendly to maintaining a separate estate.
Some states, you can acquire and dispose of assets quite freely even after marriage, so long as there is no prospect of divorce. Of course, you have to be filing taxes as "married and filing separately" for there to be a prayer of this working at all.
It doesn't matter - she'll still get a least half...
The divorce system is biased against men.
The point is really this: Many men (and women) who have assumed they would be the one with the "long, sound marriage" have ended up divorced after a few years. For the man, it's a lose-lose. Not only do you end up divorced, but you get financially screwed over so bad because of the current state of marriage law.
No-fault divorce is a punitive measure against men, in most cases.
BTW - I'll be married 16 years this August, so please accept my best wishes on your impending nuptials!
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