Posted on 03/09/2005 9:47:25 AM PST by qam1
NEW YORK – They've been part of the American "uniform" for years, worn to casual restaurants, house parties, and some workplaces.
But as jeans become more expensive, they are also becoming more ubiquitous, showing up everywhere from Midwestern churches to Broadway shows. Nothing is off limits, it seems. Or is it? Among those who buy high-priced, designer denim or who simply don jeans frequently - there's debate about where it's appropriate to wear them.
The tug of war over jeans etiquette is particularly prevalent in New York City. Here, people tend to be more creative about their appearance, and are often more demanding about how fashion-conscious people should look, says Dannielle Romano, editor at large for DailyCandy.com, a fashion and trends website.
Many 20- and 30-somethings here have theater backgrounds, for example, and often say it's inappropriate to wear jeans to theater and other cultural performances out of respect for the performers and the surroundings (even though the venues themselves have no official dress codes).
"I am all in favor of the current denim revolution that we are having, but I do feel that there are times when jeans should be left at home," says Lisa Kerson, a jewelry designer in her early 30s, whose parents insisted that she look nice when going to a play or traveling on a plane. "I still get bothered when I see people wearing jeans to the theater, ballet, opera, etc.," she says in an e-mail.
Melissa Popiel also prefers not to see denim at the theater, or at an engagement party. To her, jeans are OK for a house party or a casual dinner, but not for traditionally dressy places. "I don't like going to cocktail parties and seeing people in jeans," says the advertising executive, who's in her late 20s.
Ms. Popiel estimates she owns about 15 to 20 pairs, including premium brands, and has paid as much as $200 for a pair.
Many others are also paying big bucks for their jeans - from $150 to $1,000 or more per pair. Celebrities, in particular, are making jeans their garb of choice for appearances on talk shows and at some red-carpet events.
That, say fashion experts, sets the tone for the masses, who are encouraged by features like one in the Jan. 24 edition of Us magazine, "Hollywood's 10 Hottest Jeans," complete with suggestions for buying "premium" denim ($140 or more).
The concept of designer jeans is not new, however. They were also hot in the 1970s and 80s.
Are these jeans made for parties?
Etiquette experts offer few hard and fast rules about jeans, but among them are the obvious: Leave them in the closet when you're attending a wedding, or if your workplace bans them.
"A lot of it has to do with the appropriateness of the kind of jean you're wearing," says Peter Post, grandson of manners maven Emily Post and author of the book "Essential Manners for Men."
It comes down to determining if the jeans are for fashion or work. A pair that you do yard work in, for example, are "probably not appropriate to be wearing to a restaurant that night," he explains.
Mr. Post has seen men show up in quality restaurants wearing denim, which doesn't bother him as much as how sloppy their appearance sometimes is.He recalls seeing a man dressed in a T-shirt and old rumpled jeans. "He hadn't taken any care to step it up just a notch, to say to the woman he was with, 'You know, you're really important to me. I want to look good. I want you to look at me and be proud of me,' " he says.
Dark denim is making it easier for men to comfortably wear jeans in the evenings, especially since black jeans are no longer "in." But no matter how hip a certain style may be, some places are still off-limits.
"I probably won't wear them to a funeral," says Robert Smith, a 30- something businessman in Rockton, Ill. But in the past few years he's started wearing them everywhere else - to church and to most work-related functions.
Not the fabric but how it's used
The good news for jeans devotees is that standards for judging people on their appearance are loosening a bit - at least among women under 40. A recent study by Cotton Incorporated indicates that Generation X-age women (26 to 39) are less concerned about first impressions when it comes to dressing than they were 10 years ago, and more often are taking the approach that "you can't judge a book by its cover." The reverse was true for women boomer-age and older.
Alice Harris, author of the book "The Blue Jean," attributes the rise of jeans to casual Fridays in workplaces, which shifted the way people viewed dressing.
"We've actually gone back to a much simpler way of looking at it," suggests Post of the changing attitudes. It's not that certain materials, like denim, are bad. "It's what you've done with that material."
I just went to a beach wedding down in the Bahamas. That was tough to dress for. I had to ask the bride what was appropriate, since I figured a suit and dress shoes would be weird on the beach. Ended up wearing linen pants, sandals and a navy blazer with tie.
You're right, though, unless the wedding is somehow outside the norm in terms of location, theme etc., the guests should assume that a suit for men and dresses for women are the way to go.
"My nephew showed up at our house for a Christmas party last year wearing a pair of jeans so large that it looked like a family of Mexicans had just moved out of the ass end of them."
LOL! Another great mental picture and so true! Wonder what would happen if these kids had to run for their lives? Would they just drop the pants and run out of them or trip and fall down?
"I'm perfectly willing to be judged.
What makes judging so wrong? In many cases, it's called by another name: discernment."
I'm perfectly willing to be judged as well, but that doesn't mean I give a hoot about what "they" think. There's nothing wrong with dressing up for church, and there's nothing wrong with showing up in jeans either. When I was a child my sisters and I all had our "Sunday" clothes. All I'm saying is that if jeans is what someone prefers to wear to church, or any other place, then that is their right to do so. Who am I to judge?
Watch COPS sometime. I swear that at least every other episode they are pulling some guy out of the bushes with his pants down around his ankles and his boxers in full view.
I know nightclubs and bars in DC that don't allow overly baggy pants on the premises. I tend to agree. The look is stupid and slovenly and tends to correlate highly with the street thug mentality.
I personally prefer Diesel jeans. $140, but worth it. You can't beat the cut and fit.
"It shows a lack of respect for the situation. If you can't afford anything other than jeans, that's one thing. However, if you own slacks and a collared shirt, why not put them on?"
A "lack of respect" for whom? Do you honestly believe that God feels disrespected if someone worships Him in jeans? IYIYIYI! I believe you are basing your opinion on what PEOPLE, not God, approve of. :)
You can draw a lot of conclusions about somebody based on what they wear in certain circumstances. A person who wears a baseball cap while eating indoors or wears a t-shirt to a good restaurant is probably someone who wasn't raised right and isn't really worth knowing.
This reminds me of the last time I had to go to the easy tag store. There were these two guys in line in front of me whose pants were easily below the 75% exposure mark. I could not figure out what was keeping them from falling to the floor. At the same time I really didn't want to know. It haunts me to this day.
A lack of respect for the solemness and importance of the situation.
Tell me, what does it say to you about President Bush that he never wears casual clothes in the Oval Office or that he abolished casual wear for White House staffers?
Is it God drawing conclusions or you?
You would really judge someone as a person not worth knowing because they wear a t-shirt to a good restaurant? How Christian is that?
"You can draw a lot of conclusions about somebody based on what they wear in certain circumstances. A person who wears a baseball cap while eating indoors or wears a t-shirt to a good restaurant is probably someone who wasn't raised right and isn't really worth knowing."
Yes, there are some people who draw conclusions based on other's appearances. The fact that you would judge someone based on nothing other than what they were wearing in a certain situation is, IMO, very un-Christian-like. One thing my momma taught me as a little girl was to not "judge a book by it's cover". Other similar lessons were learned in Sunday School. I'm 49 years old now and I remember the lessons, and try very hard to live by them.
Aha! You did something I'm pretty sure the assorted younger set isn't smart enough to do: ask one of us.
Did it put you in mind of Carl and Lenny standing behind Homer dropping pencils?
I don't get out much, but I went to a little theater last Saturday. It was in the "arts district" - an old part of downtown where the buildings should be torn down because the heating and plumbing in them doesn't work.
The theater was next to what used to be called a "head shop." Old hippies and all that.
I was the only male patron in a coat, tie and dress pants. The vast majority of the other male patrons were dressed like disheveled clowns.
They might have called it fashion, but I called it disrespect for their fellow man.
The women looked OK, though.
"Tell me, what does it say to you about President Bush that he never wears casual clothes in the Oval Office or that he abolished casual wear for White House staffers?"
It says that President Bush believes that to show respect for the office of which he was elected, it requires a suit and tie. So what? I respect him for it, and I also respect people who wear a suit and tie to church. My point is that in my opinion, GOD, the one who matters the most in this situation, doesn't care WHAT you're wearing. HE never said, "only worship me if you're wearing something dressy".
Sounds like you were overdressed.
This reminds me of a story about President Reagan who went to a party in a tux, and the rest of the crowd was dressed more casually. If I recall the story correctly, he stood at the door and greeted guests as they arrived. I doubt he was ungracious and spoke condescendingly about how the other guests were dressed.
To claim other people shouldn't wear certain clothes to certain events is in the mind of the person who feels that way.
All of you, or most of you, claim to be conservatives or libertarians and express a wish for less government intrusion into your lives but you don't have a qualm about telling other people how they should dress! What hypocrites. Either you are for freedom or you are not. Wearing what you wish for whatever occasion is the right of every individual in the US or the world for that matter. What a bunch of control freaks a lot of you are!
To claim other people shouldn't wear certain clothes to certain events is in the mind of the person who feels that way.
All of you, or most of you, claim to be conservatives or libertarians and express a wish for less government intrusion into your lives but you don't have a qualm about telling other people how they should dress! What hypocrites. Either you are for freedom or you are not. Wearing what you wish for whatever occasion is the right of every individual in the US or the world for that matter. What a bunch of control freaks a lot of you are!
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