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That's pretty funny. Of course, you realize that's what they want from you . . . |
Posted on 02/07/2005 2:15:11 PM PST by KidGlock
Why Women Cheat
Expert Reveals Warning Signs
UPDATED: 10:18 am EST February 7, 2005
CLEVELAND -- When you think about cheating spouses, most people think about men, Cleveland television station WEWS reported.
The station reported that the latest trend has more women stepping out on their husbands, and found one story illustrating it.
She was a mother of three who had just celebrated her 10th wedding anniversary.
That night, she told her husband she was going out with her girlfriends. Instead, she went to meet her lover, the station reported.
Mike Lewis is a private investigator at Cleveland's Confidential Investigations Inc.
He has been in the surveillance business for almost a decade. And more husbands are calling him about their cheating wives.
"What they always say, the not knowing is the hardest part. And that's where we come in," Lewis said.
Another woman told her husband she was on a business trip. Instead, she flew to spend the weekend with her boyfriend, the station reported.
"Got 'em kissin," Lewis said.
After watching a video, her husband finally figured out why their marriage was on the rocks.
"Gotta be frustrating because you guys were trying to work it out," Lewis said.
Just how many married women have had sex with other men?
In 1991, researchers asked married women if they had cheated. Ten percent said yes. Compare that to 22 percent of married men who said they had cheated.
In 2002, researchers asked again. That number grew to 15 percent for women, while the percentage of men who cheated stayed the same.
"It's either something they're missing in their relationship, or it's how they're feeling about themselves," said Kathy Dawson, of the Marriage Movement.
Dawson is a relationship coach, the author of "Diagnosis Marriage" and "Cleveland Couples." She helps couples reconnect. Even after infidelity.
"No. 1, if your wife says, 'You don't listen to me.' Oh boy, that's a big signal. Women, No. 1, need is to feel listened to and validated," Dawson said.
A wife starved for attention at home can find herself in the arms of another man. Dawson said when husbands don't make wives feel good about themselves, watch out for the man who does.
"For a man, the most important thing he can do for his wife is to pay attention to her feelings, and listen to her. It doesn't mean he has to agree with everything she says. He just has to prove to her that he heard what she said," Dawson said.
Mike Lewis agrees. In his experience, he found that sometimes a cheating spouse may even let you know what's about to happen.
"Sometimes they do communicate before they cheat. Sometimes they say, 'I'm not getting this. I'm not getting that.' And it falls on deaf ears," Lewis said.
But in the end, the decision to cheat is made by only one person.
"Are you willing to pay the price? Because there is a price. There's the price of how you feel about yourself. If you have children, if they find out, how are they going to react? Sooner or later they're going to find out," Dawson said.
For the husbands mentioned in this story, the infidelity was too much for the marriage. Both divorced soon after. But cheating does not have to mean the end of a marriage.
"It's pretty devastating. Is it a deal killer? No. Are you going to have to work your tail off? Yes. Can you're marriage be stronger? Absolutely," Dawson said.
"....http://www.familydynamics.net/becbookawards.htm
Here's a good website. Joe Beam teaches husbands and wives to "Become one."..."
Thanks....looks like a really neat website.....a lot like Jimmy Evans teaching on marriage. Jimmy is a born again Christian, and he teaches from the biblical perspective. I've never heard the differences between men and women explained so thoroughly or clearly. He explains that affairs are caused by unmet needs.....period. The needs of each partner are very different and until that is clearly understood, the marriage is at risk. The simple solution is to make absolultely certain that the needs of your particular spouse are met in spades.
The men on this thread who ignore or belittle their wives for clearly expressing their needs do so at their own peril.
***********
Cool. Mine doesn't bake, but he is an excellent cook. He learned from his grandmother when he was a child.
I remember asking him if he could cook when we first began dating. It may have been at the moment that he replied that he could that our relationship became serious. :)
Sounds like somebody has had relationship difficulties.
When did you conduct this survey?
"No. 1, if your wife says, 'You don't listen to me.'"
Reminds me of the words of a country song I heard recently: "It's hard to kiss the lips at night...that chew your ass all day."
:-)
I often ask myself: "Self - are you paying attention? There may be a point embedded in this screed somewhere - and it's quite likely a testable item!"
Because it is being marketed for all the marketers are worth. Bitter feminists want to exact revenge on all men for imaginary crimes, and they hate families anyway.
There is your answer. No one on the left can admit that women lost the sexual revolution and that they were wrong. So instead of teaching a little constraint, they act like nothing happened.
So I got news for them - its 40 years into this and if a woman sleeps around she is STILL a slut. Furthermore, unlike fairytales of "Sex and City" (a show which I actually found entertaining), men don't like to marry promiscuous women. Men still know that attending party where your wife has slept with half the room is awkward, if not embarrassing.
I know I just let out some huge secrets of maleness, but hey, nothing is going to change.
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That's pretty funny. Of course, you realize that's what they want from you . . . |
They want money from somebody, but all they get from me is derision. In fact, I think I'm going to start saying, in a clear, penetrating voice, "Look! That boy's underwear is showing! I can almost see his dangling participles!" Maybe if sufficient ridicule is offered, they will get dressed.
Well, I almost hate
to say, but right this second
I'm wearing low jeans
and a shrunk tee shirt
and my Joe Boxers stick up . . .
I gotta tell you,
I did not lose weight
and firm up my abs to wear
surf-boy baggy clothes.
And, for what it's worth,
more girls start conversations
with me dressed like this
than when I wear, say,
a baggy college sweat shirt.
The look's here to stay.
In a battle of wits, the first thing have to have is a weapon ...
In a battle of wits, the first thing you have to have is a weapon ...
That's wonderful. I didn't say it couldn't be done, but the odds were against you. You and your spouse deserve a lot of credit.
Sex without the consequence of kiddies might explain the blossoming rate at which both men and women are searching out new things and people (things) to rub parts of themselves against. When the goal of sex is not procreation but thrill after thrill, and the goal of marriage is not family but friendship with benefits, why even bother with relationships and social mores? Everyone and everything is a potential erotic object, a simulacrum of someone else (or the self).
Marriage isn't easy.
Wow...is there any middle ground with you?
Of course it involved helping her--she was failing the class, because she was missing half of the days there-- So, after the "friendship" began, I helped her to catch up on things, and ,of course, she passed the class.
That would not had bothered me all that much, if not for the way she responded to me trying to find out why she was ignoring me for, and her subsequent response.
Afterwards, I felt unsafe allowing any girls at college to make much of a friendship, as I had already been labelled a "problem student", and just wanted to finish the course, wihtout any more problems.
I still feel uneasy today, about approaching a woman. If it is another bad experience, where I get threatened again, for doing NOTHING........I just don't want to be hurt anymore.
I'm not a girl - I'm a woman of almost 40, who's changed a lot of diapers :-).
If I saw you in person, I could make you my Ridicule Campaign test case ... but since I can't see you, you get a pass.
If you say that, then you also have to say homosexuality is a "norm," because the incidence of homosexuality closely correlates with polygamy. When a few men have most of the women, the other men get ... men. Or boys, really, which is even more disgusting.
If you read further, you'll see I am equally hard on women too. It's not fair to look at any marital issues strickly from your own gender's perspective. Trust me, I've seen as many, if not more, women who have serious issues.
When men are deprived of women, they will turn to each other. Just pay a visit to your local penitentary to see my point.
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