"....http://www.familydynamics.net/becbookawards.htm
Here's a good website. Joe Beam teaches husbands and wives to "Become one."..."
Thanks....looks like a really neat website.....a lot like Jimmy Evans teaching on marriage. Jimmy is a born again Christian, and he teaches from the biblical perspective. I've never heard the differences between men and women explained so thoroughly or clearly. He explains that affairs are caused by unmet needs.....period. The needs of each partner are very different and until that is clearly understood, the marriage is at risk. The simple solution is to make absolultely certain that the needs of your particular spouse are met in spades.
The men on this thread who ignore or belittle their wives for clearly expressing their needs do so at their own peril.
Joe discusses the cheating as being due to the priorities of the cheater, rather than the lack of the non-cheater. Maybe that's why I like him, he puts the blame on the cheater. He does discuss our obligation to meet our partner's needs, but the cheating is due to our own decisions.
One of the more pertinent comments he made was that only the person who finds something important can truly say whether or not that thing is important. In other words, it doesn't make sense to tell your wife or husband that they don't really need sex, communication, etc. Whatever it is, how can you tell another person what he needs? And if it's important to him/her, shouldn't he/she know best?
On the other hand, Family Dynamics teaching acknowledges that there are good and bad priorities, and limits to what we should do in a marriage.
His is a description of diversion of energies and interests like a dam with outlets. The energy needs to be focused by the person himself/herself to good and useful ends.
I have no sympathy for women or men who betray their marriage vows. They have reserved whatever evil befalls them.