Churchill controversial on two fronts

Indian Country Today ^ | February 3, 2005 | Jim Adams

[BuddhaBrown]

Thanks for the compliment!

You might be right about the childhood trauma. Perhaps his mother hen left him while he was still half in the shell and he now has a fantasy about chickens coming back home to roost. Who knows? Like you said, he is a nut job.

But I do not want to get any psychologists involved because I don't think I could handle that hairdo on a shrunken head. And, as bad as TV is today, I don't think there is a "Queer Eye for the Crazy Guy" show yet to fix him up.

It is enjoyable to poke fun at this guy, but I am seriously concerned and do pray for the well-being of those college kids seen on TV defending not just this guy but his ideas as well. They think they are open-minded, I say they got a hole in their head - semantics I guess.

[Eva]

No, they don't sell membership cards, many of the tribes are just not very discriminating about who claims membership because the tribes need to swell their numbers to keep their status as a sovreign nation. I know the local tribe accepts anyone who claims any amount of Indian blood, no matter where they are from, even Mexico.

[BuddhaBrown]

Thanks for the welcome and the compliment!

Although my comments were more of an email rant than an essay.

I don't expect that the nutcase himself or the regents actually read it. So it felt good to post it somewhere else too.

I have not posted to forums like this before. I hope I did not violate any rules. My email that I reposted here seems way too long now that I've looked around the place a bit.

[Dudoight]

You done good! Doesn't matter that it was longer than the usual reply. It was well done! And Welcome to FreeRebpublic.

[nopardons]

Thanks for the heads up! I need EVERYTHING,I can lay my hands on about this guy,for my file.It's important that my letter is filled with facts and proof of his frauds. :-)

[nopardons]

Oh...just a joke........LOL,LOL,LOL!

[BuddhaBrown]

All this talk about documenting racial background has me worried. I am now questioning my own heritage.

I'd like to get a ruling on this, if anyone is so authorized out there:

I had taken a Tootsie Pop sucker with me this morning. I ate it earlier and put the wrapper in my shirt pocket. Now, I go to throw the wrapper away. I check it, of course, for the Indian as I have done since I was five. Alright! Sure enough, I got the Indian.

That meant something when I was a kid but I don't remember what. Anyway, the initial childhood joy soon gave way to confusion. Now I am wondering...since I carried that piece of paper with the official Tootsie Indian logo around in my pocket for some time, am I an Indian?

And now that I hear membership is based partially on self-image I am more concerned. Because in my mind whenever I get the prized image on the sucker wrap I am, at least momentarily, one with Chief Aims-At-White-Star and the whole Tootsie Nation. I feel that I am likely from the Very Northern Plains Tootsies because I am kinda pale. Or it might be that I am only a mix because it was just a Tootsie Pop Mini.

If someone could certify me before the weekend, that would be great. I'm getting photos for my new bookcover and need to know if I should go with the bandana.

[planekT]

LMFAO

This is just so.......appropriate...

Yes it is. I hope all hell comes down on this disgusting maggot.

[huac]

Are you saying that Ward Cleaver is a "enrolled member" of the Costco Tribe? I believe that that tribe is indegenous to predominantly lily white suburbs of sprawl America. Could Ward Cleaver be a San Fernando "Valley Boy"? I don't think you can be a tenured professor and department head of ethnic studies with those "qualifications"!

[huac]

Are you daring to insinuate that Ward "Cleaver" Churchill is not a (*gasp*-pause for effect) Real Indian. How dare you sully Mr. Cleaver's good name, you brute! I suppose next you are going to tell me that my "enrolled member" card is not actual verification of my status as a member in good standing of the venerable Costco Tribe (member since 1999). I'll have you know that I am currently in negotiations with the San Francisco School of Transactional Lethargy and Holistic Healing Arts to receive tenureship in the extra departmental position specializing in Gender Issues in Shopping in Post Colonial Atlantis. I'm going to be the department head for God's sake. Are you saying that I am not fit to hold this position and receive a bi-weekly check and invite impressionable freshman up to my second story efficiency to show them my collection of velvet dreamcatchers and etchings? Is that what you are saying, Mr. post colonial-antiintellecual...Focault...ian, errdeconstructionism...ahhh...Marx...Chimpy McBushHitler...Well, if that's what you are saying, and I think that you are, well...thank heavens for san francisco! So there!

[huac]

Do what I did. Become an "enrolled member" of the venerable Costco Tribe. We are everywhere and growing. We will take back America via "sprawl". Our noble people roam the land in large SUV's, with three screaming, snot covered papooses strapped in the baby seats (if said papooses are under 40 inches or less than 45 lbs.), with "Screaming Wench Who Suddenly Got Fat After Wedding" helpfully barking orders as to where to park so as she doesn't have to walk in the lambent rays of the beloved Sun God, reminding me of the happy consequences of the yoke of matrimony, for if I were not so wed, I would probably be sitting around my apartment in my underwear watching football and drinking beer instead of roaming the isles of Costco, three steps behind SWWGFAW, pushing the cart and corralling said, lovable snot covered papooses. Yes, for a mere $200 dollars, you can become an enrolled member of the Costco Tribe. It's cheaper to be an "associate member". Come down to Costco, have the bored high school kid take your picture, the one which you will look at in awe, not remembering when you changed from being a virile young buck to the broken down shell that is taking orders from a women who used to weigh less than you! Join my tribe if you dare! Anyway, if you do, the Costco card will confer upon you the same rights as those conferred on Ward "Cleaver" Churchill by the "enrolled member" card that he pulls from his wallet and waves in the faces of people who say that he bears a striking resemblance to those F Troop Indians, you know, the Jewish and Italian guys who spoke with forked tongue and thick Brooklyn accents. Come join my tribe. Then go to a major university and wave your Costco Tribe card in their faces while screaming maniacally and demand tenureship in a field which includes the word "ethnic" or "gender" (but never words like "math" or "science"). If they seem reticent, call them racists and politely ask to borrow their phone so you can call the ACLU. This will get quick results, you betcha. After that, it's all gravy, short work weeks, summers off, lording over terrified and desperate TA's, inviting freshmen chicks up to your swanky bachelor pad to see you velvet dreamcatcher collection. Look what this tactic did for Ward "Cleaver" Churchill. Good Luck in your vision quest, Keemosabe-Buddha.

[GeronL]

I wasn't saying they did, I was merely making fun of people like this and Bill Clinton who are proud to get the honorary version, like his honorary blackness.

[Eva]

The point is, it's not exactly an honorary tribal membership, at least not where federal reporting of numbers is concerned.

[OKSooner]

Well, yes, with you graciously leading me to the conclusion, of course, I suppose I am insinuating, in fact declaring, that Ward Cleaver Churchill is a white-assed member of the Costco Tribe!

He dang sure don't look like no Cherokee I ever saw!

[OKSooner]

Well, yes, with you graciously leading me to the conclusion, of course, I suppose I am insinuating, in fact declaring, that Ward Cleaver Churchill is a white-assed member of the Costco Tribe!

He dang sure don't look like no Cherokee I ever saw!

[BuddhaBrown]

I have been a member by marriage for years.

I get most of the benefits but it is a harder sell for the tenure job when you gotta have the wife come in to produce the card.

[demnomo]

:)

Liberal Indian-wannabes are a dime a dozen. I'm a member of the Costco Tribe, too. I can also verify my Anishnaabe (Ojibwa) Indian blood via my Indian father and grandmother who were born on the Ontonagon Reservation (Now the Keeweena Bay Indian Community).

I am not registered with the BIA, (don't need the benefits or the casino-related political headaches) but I have immediate relatives who are and I can trace my ancestry on the tribal rolls back to the early 1800's. I'm proud of my Indian heritage. I'm also proud of my Scots-Irish heritage. I'm an American member of the human race.

[huac]

"I'm proud of my Indian heritage. I'm also proud of my Scots-Irish heritage. I'm an American member of the human race."

Demnomo, well put. I hope my little rant was not mistaken as mocking Native American culture. I wouldn't do that. I myself am a mixed blood mongrel and it has occured to me that the only people who are concerned with these matters of race purity are the PC crowd (with their various race quota systems) and the Nazi's. It is very specifically aimed at the PC police and Ward "Cleaver" Churchill, two entities which obviously have no blood relation to Native Americans or common sense. I was hoping to hoist them on their own petard, as I genuinely believe that Churchill has no idea what is is to be a Native American and it would be fun mocking him with the stereotypes that fakes like him help propogate. That being said, one of my best friends is 1/2 Indian and grew up on a reservation. I plan to razz him incessently on Superbowl Sunday regards Ward, until he hits me or, in frustration over an idiot like Ward giving Indians a bad name, calls some talk show and rant's against Ward "Cleaver" Churchill in his native tongue. Cheers.

[demnomo]

I can't stand PC and, no, I knew you weren't mocking Native American culture, just the racial obsession that does seem to pervade the Left and their fellow socialists, the Nazi Party!

My father used to be quite amused at the liberals who took to the American Indian Movement in the 70's. Every lefty wanted to be an "Indigenous Person" or relate to the "spiritual, ecological, peaceful superiority" of Indian culture rather than admit that he or she was living (rather well, I might add) in the USA due to their ancestor's conquering canard. (Like white guys were the only race who migrated to other lands, warred upon, and then usurped the locals.)

My father would meet embarrassed Lefties who asked if it was OK to call him an Indian. My father would reply: "Yes, just say 'Indian.' It reminds people that Columbus was dead wrong about a lot of things, but there's no turning back." :)