TNR: Ball Fake [The Loony Left Loses Another Liberal]

The New Republic ^ | 01.21.05 | Tom Frank

[West Coast Conservative]

wasn't supposed to be here. I was supposed to be at a ball, a genuine inaugural ball with tuxedos and presidential-seal-emblazoned square napkins and succulent miniature crab cakes. Regrettably, we're a liberal magazine and, consequently, many of us are less than perfectly organized (although, at TNR, some of us prefer to think of ourselves as neo-disorganized)--and, well, I failed to honor certain press-credentialing deadlines. Now, instead, I would be covering "counter-inaugural events." As a result, last night I was sitting in a low-budget church on G Street in downtown Washington listening to speakers at an International Socialist Organization-sponsored gathering by the name of "Town Hall: Empire and Resistance."

Needless to say, this wasn't much fun. I could have thrown a stone as far as my strength allowed and still have been certain of not hitting a crab cake. On the other hand, everyone else seemed to be having a good time. The hundred or so people there frequently applauded and hollered, and, as expected, phrases like "exposing Bush for what he is--a cold-blooded killer" were particular hits. I didn't even think there was much to report on. After all, who cares what the ideological fringe of the losing side has to say? But the more I heard, the more I became convinced that I had discovered something truly threatening: This band of socialists was the most effective recruiting tool for the Republican Party I'd ever encountered.

To begin with, there were the posters on the wall: MONEY FOR JOBS AND EDUCATION, NOT FOR WAR AND OCCUPATION. Let's leave aside that the meter is somehow dissatisfying (nine syllables followed by eight--no flow at all). The main point is, if the shallowness of this statement bothers you, to what party do you look for comfort? To the Democrats, many of whom condemn building firehouses in Baghdad and closing firehouses at home? Or do you say to yourself, in that moment, "I don't much care for Newt Gingrich--nor does anyone else--but I bet he hates that goddamn poster as much as I do"? I know where I was leaning.

Then there was the pooh-poohing of elections--any elections. Former soldier Stan Goff (supposedly of the Delta Force, Rangers, and Special Forces) spoke at length about the evils of capitalism and declared, "We ain't never resolved nothing through an election." This drew loud, sustained applause. Nothing to get worked up about, I thought; just a leftist speaker spouting lunacy. But today it seemed particularly bad. It wasn't just that I was missing what might be lovely canapés (or perhaps spring rolls being brought about on trays with delectable dipping sauce); rather, it was the thought that the speaker was dismissing something that Afghanis of all ages had recently risked their lives to participate in, something Iraq's insurgents view as so transformative that they are murdering scores of Iraqis to prevent it. No, what I needed to counter this speaker was not a Democrat like me who might argue that elections were, in fact, important. What I needed was a Republican like Arnold who would walk up to him and punch him in the face.

But the worst came with the final speaker, a woman by the name of Sherry Wolf, who is supposedly on the "editorial board of International Socialist Review." She talked, and talked, and talked; terms like "architects of the slaughter," "war criminal," and "Noam Chomsky" wafted about the room; and my eyes grew so bleary that I ceased taking notes. But then she brought up the insurgents in Iraq. Sure they were bad, she admitted: "No one cheers the beheading of journalists." But, she continued, they had a "right" to rebel against occupation. Then she read from a speech by the activist Arundhati Roy: "Of course, [the Iraqi resistance] is riddled with opportunism, local rivalry, demagoguery, and criminality. But if we were to only support pristine movements, then no resistance will be worthy of our purity." In sum, Wolf said, the choice boiled down to supporting occupation or resistance, and we had to support resistance.

So there it was. I even forgot about the Constitution Ball for a minute. Apparently, we were to view the people who set off bombs killing over 150 peaceful Shia worshippers in Baghdad and Karbala as "resistance" fighters. And the audience seemed entirely fine with this. These weren't harmless lefties. I didn't want Nancy Pelosi talking sense to them; I wanted John Ashcroft to come busting through the wall with a submachine gun to round everyone up for an immediate trip to Gitmo, with Charles Graner on hand for interrogation.

I left early (I couldn't stomach the question-answer session) and made my way to the Metro. In the station were people wearing fur coats and tuxedos and lovely gowns and shiny shoes. I assumed they were in town to celebrate Bush's reelection, and, for a moment, I wanted to join in. After my session with the ISO, they suddenly looked--well, so appealing.

Having attended college in New York City, I know what it's like to be confronted with some of the more irritating forms of campus leftism. Yet I never quite understood why, ultimately, such leftism should drive sensible people away from liberalism. But yesterday's display made it a little more understandable: Maybe sometimes you just want to be on the side of whoever is more likely to take a bunker buster to Arundhati Roy.

[ChicagoRighty]

This is great. I'm going to email to those I know that lean left. Although they are still in so much denial that they probably won't read much of it.

Thanks for the post.

[thoughtomator]

The greatest part of it all is that the loonier they are, the louder they are. Sense and sensibility have no chance in the Democrat party, an institution for which the phrase "bad manners drive out good manners" was invented.

[hunter112]

I would feel a lot better if the democratic party were in the hands of sane men.

All that needs to happen is for the Rats to lose an election by a sizable amount. Something on the order of the LBJ victory in 1964. That transformed the Republican Party into the entity that produced a Ronald Reagan as President. Well, maybe its just wishful thinking that the Rat constituency would unite behind someone thoughtful and decent, their last attempt at this was to back Clinton, and look where that got them!

[DaughterOfAnIwoJimaVet]

Good read. I don't think people like those at the gathering he attended are that few and far between...but maybe that's because I'm in Seattle, and I've seen a lot of 'em.

[KC_Conspirator]

Wow is right.

They do hate America and do support terrorists.

I was at the inauguration last week and saw some leftists assault a black woman cop down at D and 7th street. The whole day was filled with them harrassing women and children and getting violent. This is what the left has to offer.

[Ahban]

Conservatives can hope that the Dems go to the dustbin of history and that the Constitution Party becomes the 2nd party in America.

[Ahban]

Conservatives can hope that the Dems go to the dustbin of history and that the Constitution Party becomes the 2nd party in America.

[EveningStar]

Good find! Thanks! :)

[jocon307]

"some of us prefer to think of ourselves as neo-disorganized"

LOL, I like that!

[Sthitch]

Former soldier Stan Goff (supposedly of the Delta Force, Rangers, and Special Forces) spoke at length about the evils of capitalism and declared, "We ain't never resolved nothing through an election."

So from what I can gather, this rocket scientist must be making a statement on the poor state of our educational system. I have never read a quote so poorly put together in my life. Which leads me to believe that he was actually driving trucks at Fort Bragg, and since he occasionally drove past the special forces training area he could claim that he was one of them.

[jocon307]

"What I needed was a Republican like Arnold who would walk up to him and punch him in the face."

LOL, that's good too!

Thanks for posting this, what an amusing article. I'll bet this reporter never misses a pubbie party again, maybe in ANY sense of the term.

[Publius6961]

"Of course, [the Iraqi resistance] is riddled with opportunism, local rivalry, demagoguery, and criminality. But if we were to only support pristine movements, then no resistance will be worthy of our purity."

The beauty of this statement is that it not only works for the near-impossible task of defending Americans W style, but does so in spades.

And it brings to crystal clarity the moronic "deal with only pristine individuals" when gathering foreign intelligence law from the 80s.

[Rightwing Conspiratr1]

I will say it time and time again - the disintegration of the Democrats is not good for this country. The Democratic party will continue to lose the blue-collar constituency and will become absolutely powerless. This will leave the Republicans with no opposition and will inevitably lead to widespread corruption.

Well yeah the corruption and likely because those smart liberals who flee will enter the Republican big tent, and that will drive the party left, as it moves left Conservatives will jump ship in increasing numbers. Hey it's already starting, Rudy for Pres - Condi for Pres - Arnold for Pres anyone? What's wrong with that saith the new FR RINO? You some kind of radical commie DUer extremist traitor type? Well sort of I guess. I still agree with Washington, Jefferson, Madison and Hamilton.

[American in Israel]

The Left is sinking, but the polls still show them at half the country. Let me guess, the polls are conducted by the left.

[EveningStar]

I don't think people like those at the gathering he attended are that few and far between...but maybe that's because I'm in Seattle, and I've seen a lot of 'em.

How far out of Seattle do you have to go in order to get back to the US? :D

[LibertarianInExile]

You must be one of those third-party nutjobs. /sarcasm

[DaughterOfAnIwoJimaVet]

I think the reason I've seen a lot of these types is that I've been one of those fighting the battle against tent cities being set up all over King County. The nuts never fail to come out in support of that.

[rockrr]

"Now I know the reason lions eat their young"

[brushcop]

Now THERE'S an interesting thought...

[Southack]

"After all, who cares what the ideological fringe of the losing side has to say? But the more I heard, the more I became convinced that I had discovered something truly threatening: This band of socialists was the most effective recruiting tool for the Republican Party I'd ever encountered."

Boom!