Your Favorite Johnny Carson Joke?

Free Republic Vanity Kind-of ^ | 01/23/2005 | gortklattu

[gortklattu]

Just the Jokes, OK?

Johnny: "Sis - Boom - Bah

ED: "Sim - boom - bah

Johnny: What sound does an exploding sheep make?

[My2Cents]

Art Fern, "Tea-Time Movie" host, giving directions to whatever business was sponsoring the show: "...Take the Slauson cut off; cut off your Slauson..."

[rintense]

I heard another friend of Johnny's say that he was a life long chain smoker, but was also a fitness freak and a marvelous tennis player.

[My2Cents]

Two words: Ed Ames

[SerpentDove]

I forget the skit, but one character asks Johnny:

"Ubangi?"
"Ubetcha!"

[ProudVet77]

"May a sacred cow leave a night deposit in your front yard."
Also
May the sacred cow leave a holy relic on your lawn.
He did this one deal on a New Years Eve show when it was still in black and white, and Alka Seltza was a sponsor. They had a glass the size of a 50 gallon barrel, and a Alka Seltza tablet the size of an extra large pizza. They dropped in in the glass, and a major burst of foam ensued, flooding the stage. They had totally misjudged just how much foam they would produce.

[StoneColdTaxHater]

The Old Spice Sailor sketch

[Gondring]

Beat me to it... :-)

[Snoopers-868th]

Thanks for the link. I will read it. I have missed him for years and do not watch late-night. I don't care for Leno and Letterman is wayyyy to self-centered.

[Rebelbase]

Smoking causes emphasema? Who have ever thought that.

[My2Cents]

Carson: "It was really hot in So. Calif. today."

Audience: "HOW HOT WAS IT?"

Carson: "It was so hot, musicians were snorting ice cubes."

[Larry Lucido]

It's not always the line, it's the delivery.

Johnny as David Carradine Kung Fu character: I come from Peking.

You come from Peking in China?

No, I come from Peking in your window.

[Snoopers-868th]

My guess, Rickles.

[Petronski]

Best.

Line.

Ever.

[SheLion]

I heard another friend of Johnny's say that he was a life long chain smoker, but was also a fitness freak and a marvelous tennis player.

He was also a big drinker, but I don't hear Fox News saying anything about THAT!

He lived a good life. We should all be so lucky to live until the age of 79!!!

[speedy]

So many great bits. It was almost the same show every night, and it was always funny.

[Hillarys Gate Cult]

"...till you come to the fork in the road."

[speedy]

She was great, and died way too young. So many laughs from Johnny for so many years.

[Snoopers-868th]

My bet is he took the Slawson cut-off.

[Robe]

Most Appropate for our northern neighbors today....

Johnny.........."Wow, It sure Is cold today"
ED.............."How cold was it"
Johnny.........."I saw a dog stuck to a telephone pole"

Sissssss Boom

[Hillarys Gate Cult]

Was LMAO when I first saw the Slawson cut-off in real life even though I knew my trip would take me by it.