Posted on 01/23/2005 11:57:30 AM PST by gortklattu
Just the Jokes, OK?
Johnny: "Sis - Boom - Bah
ED: "Sim - boom - bah
Johnny: What sound does an exploding sheep make?
Born: Apr. 23, 1932
Running
author who popularized the sport of running; his 1977 bestseller The Complete Book of Running, is credited with helping start America's fitness revolution; died of a heart attack while running.
Died: July 20, 1984
As Dennis Leary says .... he was probably found by two smokers walking along the sidewalk.
"...and I didn't even know you were Jewish!"
Then there was the guy who quit drinking, smoking, sex and rich foods ... he was healthy right up to the day he killed himself!
Johnny Carson - RIP
;-)
She asked him on the show if the Zsa Zsa Gabor "Cat Story" was true. He laughed and denied it.
"May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits."
"May the rowboat of your life break apart mid-lake, and may your mother cease to find help as she runs barking along the shore..."
I love that photo.....
I think the Red Skelton has made me laugh the hardest...his skit about that couple at the Eiffel Tower was hilarious.
Sorry. ;-)
"A loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thou."
Reading the contents of the envelope:
"Name three things that have yeast."
A: The Nestea Plunge.
Q: What does the president of Nestea use when his toilet is topped up?
A: A, B, C, D, E, F, G.
Q: What were some of the earlier forms of Preparation H?
A: Shoo-be-doo-be-doo.
Q: What do you look for when you're tracking a shoo-be-doo-be?
A: Zippo Marx.
Q: What do you get when something gets caught in your Zippo?
A: Touchback.
Q: What's the smart thing to do if a Dallas Cowgirl touches you?
A: Kitchy-kitchy-koo.
Q: What do you call a military coup led by General Kitchy Kitchy?
A: Big Ben, Joe Namath and a candidate's campaign promises.
Q: What is a clock, a jock and a crock.
Johnny and Carol Wayne doing their "Tea Time Movie" bit.
Yep, that was his best!
And he did it without fanfare.
Carol Wayne had some great assets didn't she......
Johnny.........."Wow, It sure was cold today"
ED.............."How cold was it?"
Johnny........."About as cold as your date, Ed."
"May a queasey camel freshen your mother's bath."
Yep, and I never thought they replaced her either. She was so good in the tea time skits.
The one that I remember about one of the DOlly Parton visits was when Dolly had her usual low cut blouses on and Johnny said, "I would give a million dollars to touch one of them" Dolly was clearly speechless for a moment. I can't recal her exact words but it was something like you don't need to pay a million dollars,
That's funny!
Gee...could you maybe read it the other way? "Johnny smoked and lived to be 79 years old...maybe it's not as bad as some would claim..." or whatever.
Thanks for starting this thread and taking me for a pleasing walk down memory lane, and thanks to all the posters for their memories, too.
Johnny Carson, RIP.
I wondered if Carol Wayne had a fantastic personality and just played dumb...
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