P.J. O'Rourke: An Alternative Inaugural Address

The Weekly Standard ^ | 01/24/05 | P.J. O'Rourke

[marblehead17]

ping

[P H Lewis]

save for later

[itsamelman]

PJ Ping

[First_Salute]

Not so funny.

[samadams2000]

how about cancellng the whole affair and sending every legal American 1/300th of the 50 milion. Either that or drop 50 million worth of MOABs on the Iranians...that would make me happier than to see a bunch of milk toast moderate republicans yuk it up and pat each other on the back. The celebration stinks. Send the 50 mil to the familes of our dead soldiers..you know ...the 1100 that died after the end of the war because you fought it like a politician not a soldier. I am outraged that we didnt steam roll these pagans. Now 1100 families are without their patriot.

[Gritty]

We are all sinners. But jerks revel in their sins.

The Bible has very concise terms for these "jerks". In most English translations, they are generally referred to as "fools".

However, in the more concise Hebrew they are "pethiy", "eviyl", "kesil", "lits", and "nabal" - all with their own different characteristics and levels of foolishness. But one thing they all have in common - they either don't know or have rejected God.

In the American vernacular, we could probably lump most of them all together under the terms "liberal" or (in some political ways, the polar opposite) "libertarian".

[Hank Rearden]

Sigh.

I remember when P.J. was entertaining and funny.

[Hank Rearden]

Not so funny.

Yep. His percentage of boring output has been rising in a disconcerting fashion.

[TheBigB]

P.J. hath spaken!

PING to the REPUBLICAN PARTY REPTILE ping list! What is the Republican Party Reptile? It is a creature of the eighties. It's neoconservatism with its pants down around its ankles, the Rehnquist Supreme Court on drugs, a disco Hobbes living without shame or federally mandated safety regulations. The Republican Party Reptile supports a strong defense policy, but sees no reason to conduct it while sober. The RPR believes in minimum government interference in private affairs; unless the government brings over extra girls and some ice. In short, the RPR is the new label that our political spectrum has been crying out for; the conservative with a sense of humor and a healthy dose of depravity.

[ninonitti]

I remember when P.J. was entertaining and funny.

I think there's a direct relationship between the readers alcohol consumption and P.J.'s humor.

On the other hand I think his consumption has diminished his humor....ala Hunter Thompson.

[groanup]

Quotes by P.L. O'Rourke:

The Middle Eastern states aren't nations; they're quarrels with borders.

Very little is known of the Canadian country since it is rarely visited by anyone but the Queen and illiterate sport fishermen.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

Italy is not technically part of the Third World, but no one has told the Italians.

Idealism is based on big ideas. And, as anybody who has ever been asked "What's the big idea?" knows, most big ideas are bad ones.

Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.

The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with green hair and three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person.

Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.

[JustAnotherSavage]

Thanks for the ping. PJ O'Rourke
--NOBODY does it better.

[GodBlessRonaldReagan]

I'm halfway through PJ's latest book Peace Kills. So far, it's worth the price just for the chapter on 9/11 - it really shows how a lot of people have forgotten what happened that day and what it means.

[Lurker]

I like to tell people that I belong to the P.J. O'Rourke wing of the Republican Party.

L

[The SISU kid]

Big P.J. bump!

[presidio9]

O'Rourke is sounding more conservative than libertarian in this article.

I'm not sure I buy it completely. I am a fan of PJ, but this is the first time I've ever heard him take a stand against abortion or for God. In general, I veiw libertarianism as morally inferior to libralism, but I have a fun side that gets a kick out of lighthearted heathenism. And, like PJ, i am a dedicated capitalist at heart. I love the 10th Commandment. That being said, if PJ was being honest here, he just moved up my list.

[lainde]

bttt

[Larry Lucido]

how about cancellng the whole affair and sending every legal American 1/300th of the 50 milion

For the same reason we don't cancel your Superbowl party and send the money to every American: Your party isn't ours to cancel, and your money isn't ours to divide up.

Besides, if we sent every legal American 1/300th of your money, we'd run out of your money after the first 300 people.

[Dashing Dasher]

Fabulous, as usual!

Gotta love PJ!

[Snake65]

Big laughs. Bookmark time.